This Valentine's Day

This post was inspired by a comment I read on Andrew Sullivan's blog.

When I think about myself, it's hard for my wife's name to not come up in conversation. She is such a huge part of my life, I cannot describe who I am without bringing her up. Especially, if you start talking about fatherhood, or about how I have changed as a person since having my little girl. I'm just speaking for myself, but after just five years of knowing each other it has come to this point. I cannot imagine what it is like for people that have been together for 20, 30, or 40 years.

With that in mind, think about the person that you're with. How long have you been with them? Now, imagine when you go into work tomorrow, taking down any pictures of your life together. Any vacations. Any holidays. All pictures of their family or of them with the kids. When people ask you how your weekend was or what you did, lie. Where you went to dinner, who you were with...you weren't there and they don't exist. In fact, from now on, when you do go out to dinner, you go to places far out of the way and you're always looking over your shoulder. Or, you order in.

You no longer take any personal calls at work. All people in your life no longer have pronouns attached to them. It's no longer "he, her, him, his, she". All people in your live become "them" or "they". Your children lose their mother or father; as far as the world is concerned, you're a single parent. These are just a few of the many tracks you have to keep covered every minute of every day. Sounds degrading, doesn't it. Worst part is, what if you were told that if you made one little slip, you lost your job and faced a lifetime of public ridicule. This is the harsh reality that thousands of gay and lesbian soldiers live with daily.

Admiral Mullen said that repealing Don't Ask Don't Tell(DADT) was a matter of "human integrity". As you can see here, it's also a matter of human dignity. Thankfully, under the Obama Administration, it is getting more difficult to be discharged from the military for being gay. But, you can still have a court martial and eventually be dishonorably discharged under the "offense".

This Valentine's Day, give your significant other a kiss, knowing that in many places across the world, others cannot.