For those of you unfamiliar with the condition, Tourette's Syndrome is a neurological disorder that is usually onset in childhood. In my case, my childhood "tic" was a sniffle. I also had a nose rubbing tic. They went unnoticed. I wasn't officially diagnosed until June of 2009, when I was 34. For the tics to be classified as Tourette's tics, you have to have multiple motor (body, hand, facial) tics and one vocal tic. This is video that I took with my webcam a week before I was diagnosed:
I started having the "jerking" tic in August of 2006. It was the only form of tic I had for months after the diagnosis. Then, as my medication started to affect my Tourette's, the tics started to manifest themselves differently. I would smack myself in the back of the head. I would start tapping or touching my wife's shoulder. I would sometimes just scream out loud. And weirdest of all, sometimes, I would talk in an accent. Mid-sentence, I would start speaking in an Irish accent, using Irish jargon and slang. Maybe for a sentence or two, or sometimes it would go on for twenty minutes. It was out of my control.
Having Tourette's is a lot like someone taking over the remote control for your body. There are times in which I have zero control over my actions. I've heard other people with Tourette's say that it's akin to holding in a sneeze, which, for the most part, is true. Different tics feel differently to me personally.
I have tics that give me a ticklish feeling or like a little surge of electricity between my shoulder blades right before my tic. I can hold those in, sometimes for hours, but if I do, it gets very painful and I will tic much much longer than what I would have if I just ticked in the first place. I have other tics that build up pressure in my chest. It tightens, like a spring. When I tic, it feels like that spring has had a chance to release. Those tics require a "trigger" to occur, whether it be a location, a topic of discussion, a memory(usually something stressful). I have a variety of other tics that occur without warning that I cannot control or hold back. These are the most frustrating.
***NOT ALL PEOPLE THAT HAVE TOURETTE'S SYNDROME GO AROUND YELLING "SHIT, FUCK AND BITCH*** It's called coprolalia, and it occurs in less than 10% of people with Tourette's. I for one, have been told that I have it. I tend to say "shit" a lot as a tic. I also have palilalia, which is where you repeat a word that you say over and over. It's hard to explain, but when it happens, I cannot stop until the word either sounds right or feels right coming out of my mouth. One of my recent tics is a bad stutter. It gets worse with nervousness or stress. Toastmasters, here I come.
I highly recommend watching a movie called Niagara, Niagara. It came out in 1997, and stars Robin Tunney as a young woman with Tourette's. When I first saw the movie about 12 years ago, I thought her character was ridiculous and over the top. I saw it again about a year ago, and saw myself. The movie itself is mediocre, but her performance is extraordinary. You can stream the movie online for free on Hulu.com.
1 comments:
I've been following your blog for a little while and haven't really posted before, but this entry made me want to tell you that I'm out here listening. I also wanted to say that I appreciate you posting things like this so I, and others, can understand who you are in a way that demystifies and humanizes Tourette's. I started following your blog because I'm a bi female, married to a bi male, with a toddler daughter. Anyway, "hello" and "thanks!"
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