Update From The Neurologist

So I finally got to see my neurologist today. The guy is great. He really seems to know what he's doing and is really willing to work with me and try new things. Since my migraines have pretty much started to go away, my tics have been pretty consistent. I have been on 300mg of Topamax and 10mg of Abilify a day. Since starting the Abilify, I have been restless 24 hours a day. My mind is racing CONSTANTLY. At 10pm, I am literally pacing in my living room, every night.

It was driving me crazy. I can't sleep. I feel like I continually have cabin fever. Nothing can mellow me out. Something has to change. So, I am discontinuing my Abilify and starting on a new medication called Invega. Supposedly, it works the same as Abilify, but doesn't have any of the side effects. It's expensive as all hell though. $742.15 without insurance. Um...so I can either have two PS3's or not tic for Christmas. Still about $100.00 WITH insurance. With two psych appointments, a neuro appointment, and all of my new meds this month, it's still going to be an expensive month.

I've been getting up in the middle of the night lately, only getting about two hours of sleep. I wake up and can't go back to sleep unless I clear my mind of just useless shit that I'm thinking about. Checking account balances, things on Amazon, movies, song titles, etc. Most nights I don't go back to sleep. Sometimes, I resolve my issues and go back to sleep in a matter of a half hour or an hour. I thought it was all as a result of the Abilify. I never thought of it as being OCD behavior. As Dr. Flitman said, "Welcome to the world of Tourette's Syndrome".

"And I think to myself....
What a wonderful world....
Oh yeah...."

I Am Developing New Tourette's Tics

As mentioned on 10/17/09, I saw my neurologist. He said there was a definite possibility that the word association issues that I have been having, the accents, the stuttering, may all be new forms of tics. My brain may be developing them in order to replace the motor tics that have gone away as a result of the medication.

Today, while eating lunch, I demonstrated a new tic. I started clapping my hands. It was extremely embarrassed, as it had never happened before.

I have no idea what is happening. It is as if you plug up one leak in a dam and the water finds a way to make it's way out of the dam. These tics want to escape my brain, my body, any way they can. It is becoming very frustrating.

I am supposed to be counter balancing my decrease in Topamax. I was taken from 375 to 300mg a day, and was supposed to be taking 10mg of Abilify to help with both minimizing the tics and to help with my PTSD. I can't afford the Abilify. I have been so tired lately, at all times of the day, so I'm not taking my anti-anxiety medication. I am constantly on edge and cranky, and l am starting to get discouraged with my new daily reality.

My long term disability was supposed to be approved or denied the day before yesterday, but I haven't received word yet. I am hoping I can at least get this part of things get this major stress in my life. I will keep you posted.

Update From The Doctor

I went to the neurologist today. He doesn't think that I have any form of degenerative brain disease(Alzheimer's, etc.), but we're going to do quite a bit of blood work to just make sure. Currently, I am on 375mg of Topamax a day. He thinks that quite a few of the problems I am having are due to the high amounts of the Topamax. He feels that the forgetfulness and the fact that I am tired all day are from the drug.

He wants to reduce the Topamax to 300mg a day and mix in 10mg of Abilify a day as well. The Abilify should help things with the PTSD some too. The problems with my word association, my newly discovered accents, and my stuttering in stressful situations, may all be new forms of Tourette's tics manifesting themselves as other forms of tics subside. He said there are dozens of types of vocal tics associated with Tourette's Syndrome that it is impossible to be sure, but it is very likely a possibility. Um....great.

I went to Walmart to pick up the Abilify prescription. My copay was $75.00. Without my insurance, it would have been $487.00. But, $75.00 for a 30 day supply. That's $2.50 a pill. I can't afford that. I can't afford half that. The insurance company, Medco, has a history of gouging their customers on the more expensive medications to force them to use their 90 day supply by mail service. The same medication by mail would be $50 for 90 days, instead of $225 in the store. Meanwhile, I have to wait until Monday to call my doctor. Have him fax a script to Medco. Wait for Medco to mail the package to me. In the meantime, I have no medicine. And, once I get my pills, I have to hope things work with them so I don't end up changing prescriptions and having the pills go to waste.

I am on six other medications, and combined they cost less than $75 a month to maintain, some as little as $4.00. It's no wonder people can't afford health care. I can't afford it, even with insurance. I'm spending between $200 and $250 a month on medical expenses...just for myself, not including my wife or my daughter. That is with insurance. That's an electric bill. That is my cable, car insurance, water, and gas bill combined.

Ok.....I didn't mean for this to turn into a bitchfest about healthcare costs. I'm sorry. Goodnight.

ETA...(10/19/09)After doing some research, the mail order option is $125.00 for 90 days. This is even less viable. So, in the meantime, I am without a necessary medication. I may be able to get it if/when I am finally released from my employer as an employee and my profit sharing fund is sent to me in the form of a check. That will hopefully be at the end of the month.