Hallmark Introduces Line Of Job Loss Greeting Cards

In the "I couldn't make this up if I tried" story of the day, Hallmark has announced that they're launching a line of cards geared towed the recently unemployed.  With the unemployment rate well above 8 percent for the last two and a half years, many people think that this is a long neglected segment of the population by the greeting card industry.  

According to Hallmark's Creative Director Derek McCracken, the idea is to provide a little comfort and empathy in an otherwise demoralizing and stressful situation.

"People in times of need will always need to connect," McCracken told NPR, "and when the consumers have asked us for a way to connect in those difficult situations, we try to respond in an authentic way and we think that's what the greeting card does."

Take a look at a couple of the cards: (These are the actual cards.  I am not joking.)

On the inside:  "Think of it as a time out between stupid bosses."

On the inside:  "Is there anywhere I can hack up a hairball, like say, on a former employer's head?"

Call me a pessimist, but isn't this simply a way for Hallmark to capitalize on the current economic situation?  After all, their sales have to be down compared to what they were two or three years ago.  Times are tough.  People are out of work.  Customers don't have the money to buy greeting cards as often as they did in 2008 and 2009.  Wouldn't it make sense that Hallmark would try to find a market that they could tap into?  One where their target audience would have the money and resources available to buy their products?  Makes sense to me.

Also, just speaking for myself, but if someone bought me a "sorry you don't have a job anymore" greeting card, I would be insulted beyond belief.  What am I supposed to do with a Hallmark card?  Put it on my refrigerator to remind myself how I don't have a job?  Thanks for your support, but a phone call or email would have sufficed.

Also, if you're going to spend $5.00 on a greeting card to tell me that you're sorry that I don't have a job anymore...please just give me the money instead.  I could put that $5.00 to much better use feeding my daughter.

In the United States, we seem to equate acknowledgement with aid.  A pat on the back with the words "I'm sorry.  That sucks" is the equivalent of a helping hand.  For some, it may be.  To many others, it could possibly be the beginning of a step back.

I'm afraid to see what may be next from the greeting card industry.  "Sorry to hear you can't pay your rent?"  "So, I heard you've been evicted?"  "So, your kids didn't eat dinner last night?"  

Where does it stop?

A Lovely Greeting Card

Our friend Heather is having her baby shower tomorrow afternoon. She and her boyfriend Adam are expecting a little girl, Teagan Jade, within the next 3-4 weeks. Tonight, my wife and I found the card we are going to give with our present. It reads as follows:

Outside:
SOMEDAY, she'll be a famous pianist
or a high school science teacher.
She'll settle down, marry, have a couple of kids.
Maybe she won't

SOMEDAY, she'll help millions of people
all over the world.
Or maybe she'll travel,
send letters from Africa
or phone you from Rome.
SOMEDAY, she'll be a strong,
confident woman...

Inside:
...but you'll always remember
the first time
you held her in your arms.

SOMEDAY, she'll have
her own hopes and dreams,
not knowing that once upon
a quiet time, you closed your eyes
and dreamed
to have her in your life.

I instantly started crying. Lennon climbed up the cart to hug me. I knew this was "the card".

I didn't get to hold Lennon until the morning after she was born. She was crying in the NICU. Jessi and I were scrubbing in. There were 20 other babies crying in the room with her. Although I had never heard her cry before, I recognized my baby. I told Jessi, "That's Lennon". When we walked into the room, I walked up to her isolette, leaned over, and said, "It's OK, daddy's here". She turned to me and stopped crying. It was the happiest moment of my life. It was more than anything I could have ever imagined.

Sure, sometimes parenting is hard as hell. Sometimes she can be a pain in the ass(I hate to say it...but it's true). But there are times when it's the easiest thing I have ever done. She loves dancing and singing. She howls like a Wild Thing. She is the greatest thing I have ever done.

Heather...Adam...Congratulations. Enjoy this time. Be sure to teach her what is important to you. Communicate with each other. Play fair, and have fun.