Today, I Became A College Dropout

This afternoon, I signed the paperwork necessary to drop out of school.  It's something I've been debating over the last couple of weeks, and, upon the advice of my doctor, thought it was the best decision to make.  I was only going to class part time, but it was overwhelming.  I have been at such a high stress level over the last week that I can't eat a meal without getting sick.  That's not healthy.  It came to a point where I realized I had to lighten my load, and school was the easiest thing for me to drop.

I may go back in the future.  I don't know.  I do know one thing:  If I go back to school for massage therapy, it will be at a different campus.  I can't imagine having to start all over again with my Professional Development teacher.  He was such an asshole.  He did nothing but single out and degrade students based upon how they dressed, the tattoos and piercings they had, etc.  In Monday night's lecture he said, "Your commitment to help people should be more important than your tattoos and piercings."  He then told us that we should remove any artwork or piercing he found "unprofessional".  The following morning, I went to my local barber and got a mohawk. I couldn't stay in this guy's class until next March.

I liked what I learned, and I was good at it, but between the Tourette's and the PTSD, I'm not able to do this right now.  I haven't been myself for weeks.  I'm stressed out and pissed off all the time, and I am definitely not happy.

As to the future, my future, I don't know what I'm going to do.  I just had my interview for my third level appeal for Social Security.  It may take as long as 16 months to get a thumbs up or thumbs down on that.  The company I have been working with has a 91% benefits approval rate at this level, so odds are in my favor.  My long term disability is still set to expire next October.  If I am forced to go back to work at that time, I don't know if I can handle it or not.  I've been thinking about focusing on this blog and developing a following over the next year.  Hopefully, in another 12 months, I can make a living writing.  Hey, it can happen.

Long Time, No Update

It's been about two and a half months since my last meaningful post, and my health has deteriorated drastically since then. Due to the mold poisoning, I have asthma now. We've moved out of the house. We had to replace our bed and couch due to mold contamination. Come to find out both my wife and I are allergic to penicillium mold. I am finally starting to get back to feeling 100% from that whole ordeal, with the help of inhalers and nasal sprays.

We have yet to hear anything from our former landlord as to what he is going to reimburse us for. Meanwhile, I am out an extra $150 a month in prescription copays for asthma medications.

Was diagnosed as diabetic a couple of weeks ago. My A1C was at 11. It should be below 8, and ideally at 6. I am trying to lose weight and eat healthier. So far I am down 10 pounds in the last 3 weeks. I am also on medication for that, which brings the total to 12 medications I take daily, not including any over the counter pills that I take.

I went to the cardiologist for the first time today. Had my first EKG. My primary thought it would be a good idea with my family history and with the rest of my health being the way it's been lately. The men on my dad's side of the family have a tendency of dieing early from heart disease. My dad had a quadruple bypass at around the age of forty five. I'm bigger than any of them and have been diagnosed as diabetic earlier than any of them.

The EKG came back with an abnormality. I have to go back in for a nuclear stress test. It's where they inject this nuclear matter in your veins, have you run on a treadmill, and take pics of your heart. Needless to say, I'm scared to fucking death. They say the abnormality may be an enlarged heart, which may mean a blockage. Or it may be nothing. Either way, I think this is scaring me into eating right and exercising like I'm supposed to.

Oh, and I am going to school.

I have been thinking a lot about a career change. My entire adult life, I have been in a call center type job. I have worked either customer service or technical support. I have had people yell at me for 8 to 10 hours a day and I have apologized for something that I was not responsible for. This has caused me untold amounts of stress and anxiety.

When I was diagnosed with Tourette's, I realized very quickly that I would not be able to return to that line of work ever again. Stress only made my tics worse. I needed a line of work that was stress free. I needed a trade that I can help people and stay calm and relaxed at the same time. I am going to become a massage therapist. Classes start in August, are four nights a week, and allow me to graduate within a year, before my disability runs out. They even assist with job placement after graduation. I'm very excited.

I am not going to let Tourette's win. For the first time in months, I am very optimistic about my future.