Tweet Of The Day II

Margie Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church has received a lot of publicity in the last 24 hours.  She posted a tweet from her iPhone yesterday, announcing that the church would be picketing the funeral of Steve Jobs, because he "taught sin".

She sent a follow up tweet to explain herself this morning.

According to Phelps, god created the iPhone, ergo, Steve Jobs is god.  Nerds have been preaching this for the better part of 30 years.

Today In Derp!

The MLB All Star game is here in Phoenix this week, and last night baseball held it's annual Home Run Derby.  Leave it to Kingman, AZ, resident dumbass Keith Carmickle to steal the show:

I've been through Kingman quite a few times.  I had no choice.  It's normally a place to stop and stretch your legs on your drive between Phoenix and Las Vegas.  There's all of two truck stops, a McDonald's, and a Jack In The Box in the entire town.  It's a passing through location, not somewhere that anyone would choose to live.  No industry.  No future.  High on meth, and smelling like chew...and that's just the women.

Way to represent the state there, Kieth.  You made us proud.  Keeping the stereotype  going that Arizona is full of real 'Mur'kens.

Who Needs Bluetooth?

Shia LaBeouf: The Epitome Of Dumbass

Here's a clip of Shia LaBeouf on Access Hollywood, promoting his new movie, the sequel to Wall Street.  In it he says that Michael Douglas is the "epitome of strength", but listen to how he.....hell....just watch this:



This isn't the first interview I've seen in which he has mispronounced or misused a word in his vocabulary.  To think, he was actually accepted into Yale University at one point.  Then again, so was George W. Bush.

Preserving The Sanctity Of Marriage

The New York Times printed a graph today showing two maps of the United States. The first one shows the states in which gay marriage is legal as of 12/31/2009. The second...shows the states in which it is legal TO MARRY YOUR FIRST COUSIN as of 12/31/2009. Unfortunately, I live in a the latter. Way to go Republicans. In twenty years, you'll have 27 states full of inbreds, but at least they'll be heterosexual inbreds. Unbelievable!!



BTW...Iowa...You guys kick ass!

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way Home From The Psychiatrist

Jesus, sounds like a Mel Brooks movie. So...we were driving home and our gas light came on. As usual lately, we're low on gas, so we decided to stop by the QT on the way home and just put $10 in the tank to get us by the next three or four days.

My doctor had just given me two scripts to refill the medications for my PTSD and about three weeks worth of samples of a new drug to hopefully stop the "screaming" that had been going on in my head for the last few days. He was nice enough to place everything in a nice paper bag.

When we get to the gas station, I start feeling ambitious. I notice the front of our Scion is a mess. Burger King bags, empty fry containers, empty soda cups, straw wrappers.....it's disgusting. So, before I start pumping the gas, I collect all of the trash and throw it away in the bin next to the pump.

About 10 hours later...a little after midnight, I am looking everywhere for my new pills. Finally, I ask my wife, "Jess, have you seen those samples? Last time I saw them, they were in the.....floorboard...of...the...car....OH SHIT, I THREW THE MEDS AWAY!"

"What meds"?

"The fucking samples he gave me this afternoon".

"You're kidding me".

"Uh...Nope"

So...at this point, I have an interesting conversation ahead of me on Monday morning. I can imagine it now. "Before I tell you, I need you to promise me that you won't laugh........