The Discovery Channel Gunman...Was A Jehovah's Witness

As if we needed further proof that you have to be crazy to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses, it has recently come to light that the Discovery Channel gunman was one himself. In a story from a local San Diego channel, the gunman, James Jae Lee is said to have been a "devoted Jehovah's Witness for a decade."

Mr. Lee stormed Discovery Channel headquarters Wednesday and took a number of hostages. He believed shows like Jon and Kate Plus 8 and 19 Kids and Counting (airing on "Hotdog In A Hallway Sundays") promoted breeding and over population of the earth. He wanted the Discovery networks to start promoting human sterilization and infertility. He thought that human sterilization treatments would even make great prizes for game shows to give away on the network too. His ideas took environmentalism to a whole new level.

Stories like this make me smile.

RIP Robert Schimmel

Robert Schimmel passed away Friday night in Phoenix after succumbing to injuries from an auto accident the week before. Below is a clip of him at the Baltimore Improv. He will be missed.

Great Quote I Found On Bisexuality

Courtesy of Sex Is Not The Enemy: "Bisexual people quickly get used to the idea that almost no one will take their identity seriously… Maybe there are dudes out there who really would be willing to come out as bisexual for the cause, but because society would twist it into them coming out as gay, they’re just going to sit this one out until America has grown up enough to understand what words mean."

I'm Still Here And Still Blogging

Shit has been quite crazy in the last three months. So crazy, in fact, that I haven't even bothered with the blog.

Just to fill in some of the blanks since my last post: My stress test came back showing the possibility of multiple blockages. I was scheduled to have an angiogram. The angiogram came back showing no blockages and a very healthy heart. Spent a lot of time worrying, some time crying. I was afraid that I would go under and would not wake up. The experience gave me a new perspective on life. It made me realize that no matter how bad things get, I'll never kill myself. For the first time in my life, I was afraid to die.

With the increase in medical bills and medication costs, it got to the point where we could no longer afford the 3 bedroom, 1900 square ft. home we were living in. Besides, we're not house people. I refuse to do yard work. 1900 sq. ft. is too much mopping and cleaning. So we moved. The three of us are now sharing a 650 square ft., 1 bedroom apartment. The moving process just finished yesterday, so now starts the process of adjusting and putting everything in it's place. I woke up with a peaceful feeling today for the first time in months.

I am almost through my first semester at school. I had my Reflexology final last Wednesday. I think I aced it. Juggling homework, and studying, and moving, and parenthood has taken it's toll on me in the last couple of weeks, but I am looking forward to being able to focus on one thing at a time. I am also looking forward to having 5-10 minutes a day to write. I miss it.

I need to get back into a routine.

Religion Is Like A Penis

It's fine if you have one.
It's fine if you're proud of it.
Just don't go whipping it out in public and start waving it around.
And PLEASE, don't try to shove it down our throats.

All Of That Worrying For Nothing

Remember how I was freaking out over the stress test? Turns out I didn't have it after all. Their treadmill wasn't rated for someone of my "big boned" stature to safely run on. I was 20 pounds too heavy. So they cancelled my appointment, and referred me to another hospital in town.

So, at this point, I'm in a holding pattern. My only concern is that, with less than eight weeks to go before school starts, if they do find something wrong, it's going to be tough to get it fixed and recover before August 2nd.

In other news, I would rather walk than buy a car from one of those "buy here, pay here" type of car dealerships. They're such a ripoff. Long story. Might get into it later. I don't know.

36 Hours Till Stress Test

I have less than 36 hours till my stress test, and I am beyond nervous. I can't find my tennis shoes. They're out in the garage somewhere. I just want to get this over with.

I think I am even more nervous about my appointment on the 15th that will reveal my results than I am about the test itself. With early tests showing the possibility of an enlarged heart, it's really scaring me.

So, tomorrow, I'm digging through the garage for my tennis shoes, putting a comfortable pair of shorts in the washer, and trying to keep myself calm for the following day. Easier said than done.

Long Time, No Update

It's been about two and a half months since my last meaningful post, and my health has deteriorated drastically since then. Due to the mold poisoning, I have asthma now. We've moved out of the house. We had to replace our bed and couch due to mold contamination. Come to find out both my wife and I are allergic to penicillium mold. I am finally starting to get back to feeling 100% from that whole ordeal, with the help of inhalers and nasal sprays.

We have yet to hear anything from our former landlord as to what he is going to reimburse us for. Meanwhile, I am out an extra $150 a month in prescription copays for asthma medications.

Was diagnosed as diabetic a couple of weeks ago. My A1C was at 11. It should be below 8, and ideally at 6. I am trying to lose weight and eat healthier. So far I am down 10 pounds in the last 3 weeks. I am also on medication for that, which brings the total to 12 medications I take daily, not including any over the counter pills that I take.

I went to the cardiologist for the first time today. Had my first EKG. My primary thought it would be a good idea with my family history and with the rest of my health being the way it's been lately. The men on my dad's side of the family have a tendency of dieing early from heart disease. My dad had a quadruple bypass at around the age of forty five. I'm bigger than any of them and have been diagnosed as diabetic earlier than any of them.

The EKG came back with an abnormality. I have to go back in for a nuclear stress test. It's where they inject this nuclear matter in your veins, have you run on a treadmill, and take pics of your heart. Needless to say, I'm scared to fucking death. They say the abnormality may be an enlarged heart, which may mean a blockage. Or it may be nothing. Either way, I think this is scaring me into eating right and exercising like I'm supposed to.

Oh, and I am going to school.

I have been thinking a lot about a career change. My entire adult life, I have been in a call center type job. I have worked either customer service or technical support. I have had people yell at me for 8 to 10 hours a day and I have apologized for something that I was not responsible for. This has caused me untold amounts of stress and anxiety.

When I was diagnosed with Tourette's, I realized very quickly that I would not be able to return to that line of work ever again. Stress only made my tics worse. I needed a line of work that was stress free. I needed a trade that I can help people and stay calm and relaxed at the same time. I am going to become a massage therapist. Classes start in August, are four nights a week, and allow me to graduate within a year, before my disability runs out. They even assist with job placement after graduation. I'm very excited.

I am not going to let Tourette's win. For the first time in months, I am very optimistic about my future.

Arizona - It's Not For Everybody

Depressing Song Alert!

I was on my way back to my in-laws house, with a back seat full of supplies taken from my mold infested home, and I heard this song on the radio. Driving away from the house that I should have been sleeping at, and driving to a home that is not mine, where I feel like a guest, made this song feel very poignant at the time. It was as if it were inserted into a soundtrack for this moment in my life.

The song is called 'I And Love And You' by The Avett Brothers. It has been out for a few months, from what I can tell, but tonight was the first time I have heard the song. Here is their video:



This recent illness is trying me. I am broken. I don't know how, or if, I can put myself back together. And on that happy note......

Update On "When It Rains"

I went to my neurologist and my psychiatrist. They both agreed...I am not schizophrenic. There have been a couple of common threads regarding my hallucinations that have been noticed by the doctors. They have all occurred in the evening, and they have all occurred in the bedroom or while I was in bed.

That being said, they think they are hallucinations that are happening because I am starting my dreams while I am still awake. My sleep has been so fragmented lately, that I have not been able to get a full night's sleep like I would like to.

While relieved, I long for some righteous sleep. I have had sleepless nights since October. Don't know why. But sleep would be nice.

Death Watch...Week Three

That's right, people. I'm still sick. Went to the ER on Sunday night, in fact. Nothing says "Oscar party" like Superman pajama shorts and a barf bag.

Anyway, now I've been diagnosed with an upper respiratory infection. This, after being diagnosed as having H1N1, then bronchitis. I have been given Tamiflu, antibiotics, steroids and various over the counter medications. I am still sick. The only difference between today and how I felt when this started three weeks ago is the absence of body aches. I have since developed a burning sensation in my lungs. I am coughing up a foamy, egg white like material. I can't stop coughing. And, with all of the drugs I've taken, I SHOULD BE HEALED.

Here's one possibility. We have mold in our house. Whether it's toxic or not, we don't know. We have to let the test incubate for another 48 hours or so to let the mold grow. Then, we can send our tests to an independent lab to get a result back to let us know if it is toxic black mold or not. In the meantime, my wife's parents are wonderful enough to allow us to stay in their home.

If we do have mold, I don't know what we are going to do. The only real way to get better is to get yourself out of the environment. To be honest, since staying at mom and dad's, we have been feeling a little better. But it's hard to tell if that is because of us being taken out of a toxic environment or because of the litany of drugs floating in our system currently.

I will keep you all posted. If I die, I will be sure to have the executor of my estate put the cause of death on the blog. Finally, it may put this mystery to an end. I'M JOKING OF COURSE.

When It Rains?

I'm trying not to jump to conclusions, but, I've had some things happen recently that have made me question my sanity. It all started about a month ago. I started to have some hallucinations. I told my therapists about it, but they thought it was probably neurological and something I should see my neurologist about.

I would see possums and raccoons in my bedroom at night. I knew they weren't real, simply because possums and raccoons don't live in this part of the country. I would also see a homeless woman. My hallucination of her would be so real, that once I almost confronted her. She came into the bedroom and startled me. I got up from the chair I was sitting in, and almost started to scream at her. I realized once I stood up and started to charge that she didn't exist. That instance really scared me. Again, my therapists didn't think much of it.

I have also had some instances where I didn't feel like I was myself. I know this probably doesn't make sense, but, I thought I was my father. If my wife would have called my name at the time, I wouldn't have responded. I would have responded to my father's name though. It doesn't make sense to me either. This has been happening to me on a regular basis for a couple of months.

Last night really took the cake. Granted, I was taking Robutussin with Codeine for this cough I have been having with my flu. I'm not sure if that had a hand in what happened or not. My head has been quite cloudy for the last few days anyway. We had just finished watching TV, and the "noise" in my head was seriously loud. I told my wife that "I just couldn't take it anymore and was going to bed", not realizing that it was in my head and not outside noise.

I laid down in bed. My immediate thoughts were, "Oh my God. They've been kidnapped. We have to do something. What are we going to do? What are we going to do?" I didn't realize I was freaking out about people that I had just seen on the TV show. They weren't real. They were fictional. I was trying to figure out how to save characters on a TV show...and it was almost bringing me to tears.

Two hours later, I laid down to go to bed for the night. I was laying on my back and staring up at the ceiling. I suddenly felt like I was standing. I coughed, and, I thought, knelt. It was sunny outside. A voice called out to me in Spanish. I understood what he said though. He said, "You may stumble along the road many times in life. I am the only one that can lift you up." It was Jesus. Jesus spoke to me. In Spanish. He then told me to go to Joint Fellowship Christian Center on Bell Road in Phoenix. It was as if I had received a vision. I was doubtful. I am Atheist after all.

I immediately Googled Joint Fellowship Christian Center. It doesn't exist. If it did, I would consider it a vision. Since it doesn't, I am afraid it may be schizophrenia. So, I was supposed to have a psych appointment today that I had rescheduled to the 23rd since I was still sick. I'm now trying to get in on a cancellation. Like I said, I may be jumping the gun, but if it is schizophrenia, talk about a trifecta; to have Tourette's, PTSD and schizophrenia. I don't think I would have any trouble with the SS at this point. I will keep you all posted. Wish me luck.

New Gorillaz Video

"Stylo", just debuted, from the new 'Plastic Beach' album, due later this month. I like it. As always, with a reinvented sound, but unmistakably Gorillaz, and, with a trippy video featuring Bruce Willis. Enjoy:

This Week In Cool Video

OK Go, the pioneers in DIY music video, came out with a new one recently. It's entitled, 'This Too Shall Pass', which is sort of fitting considering I'm still sick. One of the coolest Rube Goldberg videos I have seen in quite a while. Give it a look: