In a little more than 12 hours, Prince William (the bald one) and Kate Middleton will be married at Westminster Abbey. It will be the first time that a "commoner" has married a prince in such close proximity to the throne in 350 years. She is practically guaranteed to become the Queen of England (as long as William remains King) at some point in her life.
Speaking for myself, and the vast majority of the world, we really could care shit less about the wedding. I am not getting up at 5AM local time to see a wedding between two people that I know absolutely nothing about. There are a select group of people in the United States, those with a 13:1 feline ratio or higher, that will be up bright and early tomorrow morning in full regalia, watching the ceremony on NBC.
If you are reading this, and are unsure whether you are one of those people or not, take a look at this picture. If your kitchen does not look like this, just stay in bed.
And the souvenirs. Oh god, the souvenirs. I wouldn't say that they border on tacky. They've crossed the border and are living as undocumented workers, somewhere in Northern California. Here are some of the best of the worst.
From GDHA (the UK subsidiary of GE), comes the scariest damn refrigerator you've ever seen. Imagine forgetting that you've purchased this model, and stumbling upon these British mugs, half asleep, at 3AM, when all you wanted was some leftover pie. I'd piss myself.
This mug was obviously made in the United States, or possibly under a rock. The "royal couple" in this case, is said to be "Will & Kate", but William's little brother Harry is pictured. Perhaps, the mug is supposed to be marketed to the "Eh, whatever." demographic.
Tomorrow, the United Kingdom has the day off. Yeah, the wedding is that big of a deal. One of the hottest collectibles in the London area is a plate that would speak for me, if I was living there:
Speaking for myself, and the vast majority of the world, we really could care shit less about the wedding. I am not getting up at 5AM local time to see a wedding between two people that I know absolutely nothing about. There are a select group of people in the United States, those with a 13:1 feline ratio or higher, that will be up bright and early tomorrow morning in full regalia, watching the ceremony on NBC.
If you are reading this, and are unsure whether you are one of those people or not, take a look at this picture. If your kitchen does not look like this, just stay in bed.
And the souvenirs. Oh god, the souvenirs. I wouldn't say that they border on tacky. They've crossed the border and are living as undocumented workers, somewhere in Northern California. Here are some of the best of the worst.
Pez, the Austrian candy maker, made a single set of commemorative "William & Catherine" Pez dispensers. I think they look more like Sam Donaldson and Katie Holmes, than they do the royal couple, but that's just me. The set was auctioned off, with proceeds to be given to the Starlight Children's Foundation in the UK. They sold for $13,500.
Tomorrow, the United Kingdom has the day off. Yeah, the wedding is that big of a deal. One of the hottest collectibles in the London area is a plate that would speak for me, if I was living there:
It's nice when an event brings the world together, isn't it?
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