From last night's SNL.
Bill Hader has created, hands down, the funniest gay character in the history of television.
Bill Hader has created, hands down, the funniest gay character in the history of television.
Showing posts with label Mother's Day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mother's Day. Show all posts
Sunday, May 8, 2011
The First Mother's Day I Celebrated
Jehovah's Witnesses do not celebrate Mother's Day. Don't ask me why. Some believe it has it's roots in "Pagan" rituals. Others believe that setting aside a day to thank your mother for everything that she does takes away time that should be for thanking god, thus making it "idol worship". I know. Pretty ridiculous, right? So, my entire life, I have never celebrated Mother's Day. I've never given my mom a card or flowers. I have never taken her out for breakfast on the second Sunday in May.
All of that changed for me three years ago. As 12:00AM Mother's Day, 2008, approached, my wife was approximately a little over 50 hours into labor. We had checked into the Women's Hospital in Albuquerque just before 10:00PM on Thursday night, and, between the two of us, had gotten maybe an hour of sleep between then and now. We had seen probably 20 episodes of 'The X-Files' by then. We really weren't fans of the show, but overnight, that, and 'The Chronicles of Riddick' were the only two things that were on TV.
At about 1:00AM, my wife's heartbeat started to flutter. They sent in a tech to compete an EKG. At this point, she already had probably a dozen wires and tubes hooked up to her. The tech had a difficult time trying to figure out how to get around everything and get to her chest with her hospital gown tied up the way that it was. He was a little inexperienced, to say the least. Finally, he realized that the arm holes unsnapped and pulled away, so he unsnapped the three buttons on the arm and pulled the right side of the gown away to expose my wife's cleavage.
"Niiiiiiice."
He then demonstrated how the word "dude" can be a stand alone sentence, yet mean a number of different things.
"Dude!" (You misunderstood me. I was not saying, "Nice cleavage." I was saying, "It's nice that I found a way to access the area for the procedure.")
"Dude." (I am so sorry, sir. I was not making a pass at your wife.)
"Dude." (Please do not kick my ass.)
"Dude?" (Are we cool?)
Three hours later, at 4:35AM, our daughter was born. It was the best Mother's Day present my wife could have. It sure beat any Hallmark card or any bouquet of flowers I could have given her. In case you were wondering, I still gave her a card.
My wife had a rough delivery. I couldn't have been more proud of her. She was stronger than I ever would have imagined. Since her water broke almost 48 hours earlier, she had developed an infection. Our daughter was also born with pneumonia. My little girl was in the NICU for 8 days, while my wife was hospitalized for 3 days following the delivery. Unfortunately, she was not able to see Lennon until the following day. The nurses in the NICU took Lennon's picture and had it framed as a Mother's Day present for my wife. Looking back at the photo today, it's hard to imagine that our little girl is the same one that was hooked up to the monitors under the blue lamps. That today, she's walking up to everyone in the house, hugging them, and saying, "Happy Mother's Day". Wow. Has it been three years already?
Mother's Day will always hold a special place in my heart. Oddly enough, for the rest of my life, when I think of that day, my own mother will likely be the last woman I think of...if I even think of her at all.
All of that changed for me three years ago. As 12:00AM Mother's Day, 2008, approached, my wife was approximately a little over 50 hours into labor. We had checked into the Women's Hospital in Albuquerque just before 10:00PM on Thursday night, and, between the two of us, had gotten maybe an hour of sleep between then and now. We had seen probably 20 episodes of 'The X-Files' by then. We really weren't fans of the show, but overnight, that, and 'The Chronicles of Riddick' were the only two things that were on TV.
At about 1:00AM, my wife's heartbeat started to flutter. They sent in a tech to compete an EKG. At this point, she already had probably a dozen wires and tubes hooked up to her. The tech had a difficult time trying to figure out how to get around everything and get to her chest with her hospital gown tied up the way that it was. He was a little inexperienced, to say the least. Finally, he realized that the arm holes unsnapped and pulled away, so he unsnapped the three buttons on the arm and pulled the right side of the gown away to expose my wife's cleavage.
"Niiiiiiice."
He then demonstrated how the word "dude" can be a stand alone sentence, yet mean a number of different things.
"Dude!" (You misunderstood me. I was not saying, "Nice cleavage." I was saying, "It's nice that I found a way to access the area for the procedure.")
"Dude." (I am so sorry, sir. I was not making a pass at your wife.)
"Dude." (Please do not kick my ass.)
"Dude?" (Are we cool?)
Three hours later, at 4:35AM, our daughter was born. It was the best Mother's Day present my wife could have. It sure beat any Hallmark card or any bouquet of flowers I could have given her. In case you were wondering, I still gave her a card.
My wife had a rough delivery. I couldn't have been more proud of her. She was stronger than I ever would have imagined. Since her water broke almost 48 hours earlier, she had developed an infection. Our daughter was also born with pneumonia. My little girl was in the NICU for 8 days, while my wife was hospitalized for 3 days following the delivery. Unfortunately, she was not able to see Lennon until the following day. The nurses in the NICU took Lennon's picture and had it framed as a Mother's Day present for my wife. Looking back at the photo today, it's hard to imagine that our little girl is the same one that was hooked up to the monitors under the blue lamps. That today, she's walking up to everyone in the house, hugging them, and saying, "Happy Mother's Day". Wow. Has it been three years already?
Mother's Day will always hold a special place in my heart. Oddly enough, for the rest of my life, when I think of that day, my own mother will likely be the last woman I think of...if I even think of her at all.
Mother's Day Love...Literally
Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg remind us what Mother's day is all about: loving your mother. Or, in their case, loving their best friend's mother.
**Video contains adult language and is NSFW**
**Video contains adult language and is NSFW**
My Favorite Mother's Day Song
Well, OK. Maybe it's not a Mother's Day song per se. But, it is the only song that I've thought of on Mother's Day since 1988.
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