Anti-Bullying Flash Mob Becomes Viral Hit

On January 27th, 300 students from David Lloyd George Elementary and Churchill Secondary schools, in Vancouver, British Columbia, came together to spread a message of acceptance.  They met at the Oakridge Centre, a local mall in Vancouver, and, with the help of some teachers and a choreographer, put together a performance that has been seen nearly 140,000 times in the last week.  Take a look:



Why the pink shirts? In Canada, the last Wednesday in February is Anti-Bullying Day, also known as "Pink Shirt Day".  It was started in 2008 in Nova Scotia, after a student was bullied for wearing a pink shirt on the first day of school.  It was then adopted nationwide the following year.

Remember, bullying can be toward many demographics.  There was a lot of media attention recently about gay and lesbian kids that took their lives due to constant bullying for others at school.  What you don't hear on the news are the stories of the young men and women that take their lives because they're endlessly ridiculed for being overweight or looking different than everyone else.  Bullying is bullying, regardless or the reason why, it's unacceptable.

It wasn't until after seeing this video a couple of times that I realized it, but Bruno Mars' 'Just The Way You Are' is a very affirming body positive/fat positive song that is on the radio currently.  He doesn't mention any specifics about his significant other's body or facial features, but reassures her that those things she sees as flaws are, in fact, perfect.  It's ironic, though, that the video has him singing the song to a woman that is practically a supermodel.  What a good song, but what a bad example to set.

Kevin Smith - A Body Positive Role Model For Men

It's no secret that women aren't the only ones that feel self-conscious about themselves at times.  Men are just as insecure as our female counterparts, whether we would like to admit it or not.  We worry about going bald.  We think about our skin, and most of all, we worry about our weight.  For quite some time now, women have had a number of body positive advocates on their side, with the Operation Beautiful project, websites like The Body Positive, and numerous amateur blogs and forums.

 Men...seems like we're on our own.  Today, we're inundated with ads for weight loss pills, Bowflex, and P90X.  The fat guys in the movies are relegated to either the slapstick jackasses or the comedic sidekick that never gets the girl.  And Seth Rogan doesn't count.  He's not fat anymore.  Besides, he's sort of a douche.

Our only hope is a quiet, bearded man standing in front of a convenience store in New Jersey.  This guy:

This is Kevin Smith, director of such classics as 'Clerks', 'Mallrats', 'Chasing Amy', and my personal favorite, 'Dogma'.  This picture of him was taken with his cellphone on 02/13/2010, while he was being kicked off of a Southwest Airlines flight for being "too fat".  He was able to fit between the armrests and buckle his seat belt, but the flight crew determined that he posed a "safety risk" due to his size.  At the time, he weighed over 300 pounds.  Needless to say, he was not happy that afternoon.  He was continuously tweeting as the ordeal was developing.  Here are a couple of those tweets:

The @SouthwestAir Diet.   How it works: you’re publicly shamed into a slimmer figure. Crying the weight right off has never been easier!

Hey @SouthwestAir! I’ve landed in Burbank.  Don’t worry:  wall of the plane was opened & I was airlifted out while Richard Simmons supervised.

Needless to say, it was a humiliating ordeal.  Newspapers, websites, and magazines around the world carried the story showing his picture with the word "fat" sprawled across the title.  The Philadelphia Inquirer even went so far as to call him a "blimp".  Since then, Smith has lost 65 pounds.  He refuses to disclose how much he weighs now, or how he lost the weight.  He spoke with Joy Behar on Wednesday night, telling her that in 2008, "I broke a toilet.  That's how heavy I am."  He also said,

"I feel mixed feelings about losing the weight.  I sympathize far more with heavier people than I ever will with thin. I'll never be thin. Let's be honest, I've lost 65 pounds, but nobody's going, 'I wanna sleep with you!' They're just like, 'Keep going, you look better.'"

One thing that really makes Smith stand out was his final statement of the interview, "Sometimes a fat dude has a lot to offer, if [you] can just get past the blubber."  If more women realized that...hell, if Hollywood realized that, I think it would make for a lot of happier men in the world.  And a lot of happier women.  Take a look at the interview:

Just When 'Glee' Goes Fat Positive...

...They screw it up.  If you watched Tuesday night's episode of 'Glee', then you got to know Lauren Zizes better.  She kicks ass!  She's confident.  She's on the wrestling team.  She dresses cool, and she doesn't just jump into a relationship with someone.  She expects to be treated like a lady.  She wants to be wooed.

I'm watching the show, and I'm thinking, "This is great.  They're going to do a fat positive thing.  It's going to be awesome to see a positive fat teenage female character on television.  Maybe she'll be able to do what Kurt did for gay kids in America".  She's playing hard to get with Puck.  Puck's crushing hard on this girl.  Then Puck sings Queen's 'Fat Bottomed Girls':



She was insulted.  I know that if I sang that for my wife, she would be on me like white on rice.  At that point, the show, and the Lauren's character went downhill.  Number one, throughout the episode, Puck is continually telling her things like, "I usually don't go for girls like you", or "You're not my type".  The worst backhanded compliment of them all was something along the lines of, "You have to realize that I'm not into you because of what you look like, but because you're a cool person.  Like me."  I found that more of an insult than a compliment.  I think she's cute.

Secondly, and perhaps worst of all, the way they have her character written, she's always being tempted and wooed with food.  One of the jokes last night was she gave Puck his box of chocolates back because they sucked.  The box was empty.  When he asked why, she said "because I had to make sure every one of them sucked".  For fuck's sake, when he asked her out on Valentine's Day, he got down on one knee and proposed with a Ring Pop.  Really?  Food jokes for the fat chick?   I thought this show was better than that.

I've been fat all of my life.  I still am.  Even though I am over 6' 4" tall, I still weigh over 300 lbs.  Over the years, I have been able to accept the fact that I am fat and appreciate my body.  It wasn't until well into adulthood when that happened.  I am 35 now, and there are still times I look in the mirror and think, "My god, man.  Look at yourself.  You're so fat and ugly.  How could anyone ever find you attractive?"  Anyone reading this can tell you, life as a fat kid can be hell.  Personally, I was picked on and beat up more because I was fat, than because of my religion or my sexuality.

Overweight teenagers, especially teenage females, need someone on TV to look up to.  Someone empowered.  Someone confident about herself.  Someone fat positive.  Ryan Murphy, stop making fat jokes. You wouldn't subject Kurt or Blaine to gay jokes.  Don't humiliate Lauren either.  Young women need someone to look up to.  You introduced Kurt Hummel to America as a role model for our generation.  Give us Lauren Zizes.

"You Are Responsible For Your Self-Esteem"

Most Americans aren't familiar with the name Beth Ditto.  Though she was born in Arkansas, and now lives in Portland, OR, her band, Gossip, gets no airplay in the States.  In the UK, however, the media follow her every move.  She's the most famous female singer to hit England since Madonna.  She's also one of the most outspoken.

She's an out lesbian and very vocal on LGBT issues.  She is also seen as a role model, spokesperson and champion of the fat positive movement.  At one time, she ran a regular column in The Guardian called 'What Would Beth Ditto Do?'.  One question in particular caught my eye.  As a size 20-22 woman, how can I stop worrying about my weight?  This was her response:

"If I ever happen to be, say, in an antique store and stumble upon a dusty lamp and polish it, because, well, it's dusty, and to my surprise, pink smoke puffs from the spout and a genie pops out and grants me three wishes, this would be one for sure. I would wish that all the people who are dissatisfied with their bodies be granted immunity from all the bad feelings.

Thanks to capitalism, the importance placed on beauty has never been so manipulated. We are the guinea pigs force-fed ads that tell us how pathetic we are: that we will never be loved, happy or valuable unless we have the body, the face, the hair, even the personality that will apparently be ours, if only we buy their products.

Believe it or not, I don't wake up every day feeling weightless. There are days when it is harder to fight the lie, but telling the truth gets easier all the time. It is about de-programming yourself and telling yourself you are a human, a living, breathing creature.

You've heard the saying that hate isn't something we're born with, its something we learn. Well, that goes for your body as well. The first step to letting go of the hatred is to stop blaming yourself for your body. Step two is accepting that not everyone will agree with you. You will have to defend yourself regularly. People will ask you constant questions about your health in an attempt to convince you that you are unhealthy. Remember, you are responsible for your self-esteem. Self-love starts with stopping the negative thoughts as soon as they begin.

I can't stress enough that it is hard work, so don't expect to wake up tomorrow feeling like a new woman. Instead, pat yourself on the back for your daily progress.

I was born fat and have always been, which was just fine and even healthy and cute until I turned ten or so. Puberty hit like a hurricane and brought a new set of rules. All of a sudden it was my fault I was chubby. The prefix "baby" fell away from fat, a little word that hung around and haunted me until one day, in my late teens, I decided that I was either going to spend the rest of my life trying to change myself or accept myself as I was. I chose the latter. I believe I owe all the best parts of my adulthood to embracing my imperfections and showcasing them.

Reclaiming the word fat was the most empowering step in my progress. I stopped using it for insult or degradation and instead replaced it with truth, because the truth is that I am fat, and that's ok. So now when someone calls me fat, I agree, whereas before I would get embarrassed and emotional.

Start by wearing clothes with the intention of reclaiming your self-esteem, clothes that make you feel good, confident, sexy even, instead of clothes meant to hide your body. You can also look at your body more. A lot of us ignore our bodies. Connect with your body instead, especially when naked.

Finally, the key change that would help everyone in our situation feel a little better would be if all the skinny people who talk so nastily about fat people would stop being "

I would much rather see that on magazine covers than some skinny movie star revealing how they lost "those final 6 pounds" to People magazine.  Those covers make me sick.  To imply that 131 lbs just isn't good enough.  We need more honest commentary from people like Beth.