My Friends Are Having A Sale On "Toys" Saturday

Hey everyone.  Thought I would just drop a quick line, and let my readers know of an online sale going on Saturday.  If you have been in the market for a couple of bedroom items to use with your partner, but don't like going to your local adult store (who can blame you), listen up.

My friends Molly and Matie own an adult sex toy retail store and sex education center in Albuquerque.  The shop goes by the name of Self Serve.  They've had the same location for, wow, four years now.  It is really a unique shopping experience.

Self Serve is not your typical sex toy store.  You won't find any creepy guys working there.  There aren't shelves of porn with hundreds of exploitative pictures on them.  They're both female and LGBT owned and operated.  Their purpose in the industry is to make sure their customers have a healthy sex life.  They only stock products that are body safe.  It sounds weird saying "body safe" when talking about a sex toy, but you would be surprised how many products on the market have chemicals and additives in them that are dangerous with extended use.  The only items in store are ones that are safe to use, and work the way that they're advertised to.

Just look at the inside of their store.  Does this look like your typical adult oriented business?

They are a huge resource to the community.  They offer sexuality workshops to their customers.  They provide meeting space for community groups.  And, they're dedicated to supporting women's health, sexual wellness and LGBT rights.  I can't say enough positive things about Molly and Matie and what they have accomplished.  Meeting them truly affected my life for the better.

Show your support for a locally owned business that is making a difference in their community.  This Saturday, July 23, 2011, Self Serve is having a one day sale from Noon till 10PM.  They are offering 20% off everything in the entire store!

Go to their website, www.selfservetoys.com, and enter the code: 20today at checkout.  All orders over $100 receive free shipping.  You can't beat that.  It's a good thing I got paid today.  :)

"Viva La Vibrator!"

Anti-Bullying Flash Mob Becomes Viral Hit

On January 27th, 300 students from David Lloyd George Elementary and Churchill Secondary schools, in Vancouver, British Columbia, came together to spread a message of acceptance.  They met at the Oakridge Centre, a local mall in Vancouver, and, with the help of some teachers and a choreographer, put together a performance that has been seen nearly 140,000 times in the last week.  Take a look:



Why the pink shirts? In Canada, the last Wednesday in February is Anti-Bullying Day, also known as "Pink Shirt Day".  It was started in 2008 in Nova Scotia, after a student was bullied for wearing a pink shirt on the first day of school.  It was then adopted nationwide the following year.

Remember, bullying can be toward many demographics.  There was a lot of media attention recently about gay and lesbian kids that took their lives due to constant bullying for others at school.  What you don't hear on the news are the stories of the young men and women that take their lives because they're endlessly ridiculed for being overweight or looking different than everyone else.  Bullying is bullying, regardless or the reason why, it's unacceptable.

It wasn't until after seeing this video a couple of times that I realized it, but Bruno Mars' 'Just The Way You Are' is a very affirming body positive/fat positive song that is on the radio currently.  He doesn't mention any specifics about his significant other's body or facial features, but reassures her that those things she sees as flaws are, in fact, perfect.  It's ironic, though, that the video has him singing the song to a woman that is practically a supermodel.  What a good song, but what a bad example to set.

Kevin Smith - A Body Positive Role Model For Men

It's no secret that women aren't the only ones that feel self-conscious about themselves at times.  Men are just as insecure as our female counterparts, whether we would like to admit it or not.  We worry about going bald.  We think about our skin, and most of all, we worry about our weight.  For quite some time now, women have had a number of body positive advocates on their side, with the Operation Beautiful project, websites like The Body Positive, and numerous amateur blogs and forums.

 Men...seems like we're on our own.  Today, we're inundated with ads for weight loss pills, Bowflex, and P90X.  The fat guys in the movies are relegated to either the slapstick jackasses or the comedic sidekick that never gets the girl.  And Seth Rogan doesn't count.  He's not fat anymore.  Besides, he's sort of a douche.

Our only hope is a quiet, bearded man standing in front of a convenience store in New Jersey.  This guy:

This is Kevin Smith, director of such classics as 'Clerks', 'Mallrats', 'Chasing Amy', and my personal favorite, 'Dogma'.  This picture of him was taken with his cellphone on 02/13/2010, while he was being kicked off of a Southwest Airlines flight for being "too fat".  He was able to fit between the armrests and buckle his seat belt, but the flight crew determined that he posed a "safety risk" due to his size.  At the time, he weighed over 300 pounds.  Needless to say, he was not happy that afternoon.  He was continuously tweeting as the ordeal was developing.  Here are a couple of those tweets:

The @SouthwestAir Diet.   How it works: you’re publicly shamed into a slimmer figure. Crying the weight right off has never been easier!

Hey @SouthwestAir! I’ve landed in Burbank.  Don’t worry:  wall of the plane was opened & I was airlifted out while Richard Simmons supervised.

Needless to say, it was a humiliating ordeal.  Newspapers, websites, and magazines around the world carried the story showing his picture with the word "fat" sprawled across the title.  The Philadelphia Inquirer even went so far as to call him a "blimp".  Since then, Smith has lost 65 pounds.  He refuses to disclose how much he weighs now, or how he lost the weight.  He spoke with Joy Behar on Wednesday night, telling her that in 2008, "I broke a toilet.  That's how heavy I am."  He also said,

"I feel mixed feelings about losing the weight.  I sympathize far more with heavier people than I ever will with thin. I'll never be thin. Let's be honest, I've lost 65 pounds, but nobody's going, 'I wanna sleep with you!' They're just like, 'Keep going, you look better.'"

One thing that really makes Smith stand out was his final statement of the interview, "Sometimes a fat dude has a lot to offer, if [you] can just get past the blubber."  If more women realized that...hell, if Hollywood realized that, I think it would make for a lot of happier men in the world.  And a lot of happier women.  Take a look at the interview:

Just When 'Glee' Goes Fat Positive...

...They screw it up.  If you watched Tuesday night's episode of 'Glee', then you got to know Lauren Zizes better.  She kicks ass!  She's confident.  She's on the wrestling team.  She dresses cool, and she doesn't just jump into a relationship with someone.  She expects to be treated like a lady.  She wants to be wooed.

I'm watching the show, and I'm thinking, "This is great.  They're going to do a fat positive thing.  It's going to be awesome to see a positive fat teenage female character on television.  Maybe she'll be able to do what Kurt did for gay kids in America".  She's playing hard to get with Puck.  Puck's crushing hard on this girl.  Then Puck sings Queen's 'Fat Bottomed Girls':



She was insulted.  I know that if I sang that for my wife, she would be on me like white on rice.  At that point, the show, and the Lauren's character went downhill.  Number one, throughout the episode, Puck is continually telling her things like, "I usually don't go for girls like you", or "You're not my type".  The worst backhanded compliment of them all was something along the lines of, "You have to realize that I'm not into you because of what you look like, but because you're a cool person.  Like me."  I found that more of an insult than a compliment.  I think she's cute.

Secondly, and perhaps worst of all, the way they have her character written, she's always being tempted and wooed with food.  One of the jokes last night was she gave Puck his box of chocolates back because they sucked.  The box was empty.  When he asked why, she said "because I had to make sure every one of them sucked".  For fuck's sake, when he asked her out on Valentine's Day, he got down on one knee and proposed with a Ring Pop.  Really?  Food jokes for the fat chick?   I thought this show was better than that.

I've been fat all of my life.  I still am.  Even though I am over 6' 4" tall, I still weigh over 300 lbs.  Over the years, I have been able to accept the fact that I am fat and appreciate my body.  It wasn't until well into adulthood when that happened.  I am 35 now, and there are still times I look in the mirror and think, "My god, man.  Look at yourself.  You're so fat and ugly.  How could anyone ever find you attractive?"  Anyone reading this can tell you, life as a fat kid can be hell.  Personally, I was picked on and beat up more because I was fat, than because of my religion or my sexuality.

Overweight teenagers, especially teenage females, need someone on TV to look up to.  Someone empowered.  Someone confident about herself.  Someone fat positive.  Ryan Murphy, stop making fat jokes. You wouldn't subject Kurt or Blaine to gay jokes.  Don't humiliate Lauren either.  Young women need someone to look up to.  You introduced Kurt Hummel to America as a role model for our generation.  Give us Lauren Zizes.

Body Positive Blog Post or Confidence Is Sexy As Hell

I read a blog post today from Amber, a 24 year old from Massachusetts:

"I’ve submitted a bunch of times, but never this particular picture (for reasons that I would think would be pretty obvious.)

I posted this picture on another blog and had people reblog it and pick me apart. Talk about how disgusting I looked, how it was awful how I could ever ‘let myself go’ this much and how I couldn’t possibly be happy.

After taking this picture, I looked at it and thought I looked pretty. Yup. I’ve got rolls, and cellulite and stretch marks, and to say my thighs touch is an understatement of astronomical proportions. I’ll be honest. Sometimes I see people post here and talk about losing 10 or 20lbs, and I can’t help but shake my head at how something so small could be so important to so many people out there.

What if I told you that it’s possible to not have a so-called ‘ideal’ figure, and to be happy? Because it’s entirely possible. I’ve had scores of people compliment me on my confidence. Even when I don’t feel confident, I still put it out there, and people tend to look past my weight. It seems hard to believe but it’s true!

The number on the scale is NOT important. The size of your pants is NOT important. Whether you have scars, or stretch marks, or cellulite, or rolls, or pudge, or big teeth, or acne, or a strange nose, anything that you think is a ‘deformity’, it’s NOT important. Wishing you had what someone else had is NOT important. Everyone out there is fighting a tough battle.

The person who you think is perfect most likely has body issues of their own, and at least one thing they’d like to change. The grass is always going to be greener on the other side. People find it much easier to see beauty in others, but never in themselves.

Stop. Look at yourself, and appreciate what you have. Even if you don’t think you have anything, you are alive, you are breathing, and you have the potential to do fantastic things with your life."

She's beautiful.

The Gossip's Singer Launches Battle Against Skinny Chicks

Beth Ditto, lead singer of the band The Gossip, recently has taken issue to the fact that heavier people are stereotypically seen as being unhealthy.  As a well known advocate for positive body image, Ditto has been making the case for quite a while that overweight people can still live healthy lives.  Though her size 28 body is on the high end of the BMI scale, she says in her recent interview chronicled in The Independent:

 "I'm not an unhealthy person and... one of the most tiring parts of being fat and being proud of it is... you do a lot of proving yourself all the time."

She added: "It's really interesting to me that people will look at a thin person and go, 'That's a healthy person'. I want to go: 'Come, open my refrigerator and look, and then let's talk about what you think is so bad.' To be thin and to stay really thin... some people literally do coke all the time. Some people smoke cigarettes instead of eating. That's crazy. But that's OK, because you look healthier."

Ditto has recently released her second plus size collection for retailer Evans, to rave reviews.  As a lesbian, she has also garnered attention for her outspoken support of LGBT and feminist causes.  Her band, The Gossip, released their fourth studio album, titled Music for Men, last year.  Here is their latest video for the single Heavy Cross.  Until now, I've known of Beth Ditto, but never really gave her band a listen.  I like it.