Introducing The Bipartisan Bunny

The description:

"We all know that Conservatives and Liberals do it differently. Babeland’s Bipartisan Bunny brings you the best of both worlds—this talking vibrator can satisfy the urges of everyone, no matter your political viewpoint. Your vibrator comes with two different modes—red and blue—which are pre-programmed with different sayings: The Blue Mode will get the Liberals hot, the Red Mode will turn-on the Conservatives. Since Independents go both ways, they can try it all and make up their mind in November. Not happy with the Bunny’s sweet promises? No worries, your vibrator also comes with voice-recording capability, so you can program your toy to say the things you want to hear!"

This political themed vibe can be purchased at Babeland, while supplies last.

Today In "Ew, Get The Fuck Off Of Me!" (NSFW)

The video below is a demonstration of a real product currently on the market.  It's called the "My Little Secret Talking Head MP3 Vibrator".  Believe it or not, you can buy one on Amazon.

The product description is as follows.  I am pasting it as-is, punctuation errors and all:

"The talking head mp3 vibrator is a rabbit vibe with state of the art cd-quality speakers that talks dirty to you. you can enjoy your most intimate fantasies with sexy strangers or have your lover instantly record your favorite audio fantasy to suit any erotic occasion. you can download dozens of fantasy lovers or record your own fantasy with cd-quality sampling technology. the talking head is very enjoyable with the headphones or with the sound off. it delivers a range of vibrator speeds and modes, including separate controls for the rabbit. the base has rotating pearls that add intensity to your sensual experience"

While the product may sound intriguing in theory, your curiosity, as well as your libido will take a dive, once the device is turned on:



No.  No.  No.  Just....NO!

That may be the first time I have ever been skeeved out by a sex toy.  Who could have possibly thought that was "sexy"?!  Even gay men would be screaming, "Get the fuck away from me!", after turning that thing on.  It's has that universal "dry heave" factor.

And what's with the name?  "My Little Secret"?  What is your secret?  That you're doing you're dad's drunk boss?  What, was "Date Rape in a Can" already trademarked?

I love how the vibrator came first.  Quality product.

My Friends Are Having A Sale On "Toys" Saturday

Hey everyone.  Thought I would just drop a quick line, and let my readers know of an online sale going on Saturday.  If you have been in the market for a couple of bedroom items to use with your partner, but don't like going to your local adult store (who can blame you), listen up.

My friends Molly and Matie own an adult sex toy retail store and sex education center in Albuquerque.  The shop goes by the name of Self Serve.  They've had the same location for, wow, four years now.  It is really a unique shopping experience.

Self Serve is not your typical sex toy store.  You won't find any creepy guys working there.  There aren't shelves of porn with hundreds of exploitative pictures on them.  They're both female and LGBT owned and operated.  Their purpose in the industry is to make sure their customers have a healthy sex life.  They only stock products that are body safe.  It sounds weird saying "body safe" when talking about a sex toy, but you would be surprised how many products on the market have chemicals and additives in them that are dangerous with extended use.  The only items in store are ones that are safe to use, and work the way that they're advertised to.

Just look at the inside of their store.  Does this look like your typical adult oriented business?

They are a huge resource to the community.  They offer sexuality workshops to their customers.  They provide meeting space for community groups.  And, they're dedicated to supporting women's health, sexual wellness and LGBT rights.  I can't say enough positive things about Molly and Matie and what they have accomplished.  Meeting them truly affected my life for the better.

Show your support for a locally owned business that is making a difference in their community.  This Saturday, July 23, 2011, Self Serve is having a one day sale from Noon till 10PM.  They are offering 20% off everything in the entire store!

Go to their website, www.selfservetoys.com, and enter the code: 20today at checkout.  All orders over $100 receive free shipping.  You can't beat that.  It's a good thing I got paid today.  :)

"Viva La Vibrator!"