Facebook Post Of The Day

- Kat Von D, announcing that she has broken up, once again with former Mr. Sandra Bullock, and Nazi enthusiast Jesse James.  I personally love how she has apologized to the public for the "confusion" their relationship has caused.

The Dow Jones Industrial Average is expected to open sharply lower tomorrow, upon the news of their breakup.  

Not to worry.  They're expected to reconcile and be back together by Tuesday, then split again by the weekend. 

Jehovah's Witness Organization Urging Followers To Rat Out Friends

So, I may have been out of the religion for 15 years, but last time I checked my sins were on MY conscience.  Sure, there was always gossip floating around the congregation about what Brother So And So was getting into, and what Sister So And So was doing, but you never heard of people turning each other in, unless it was considered a "gross sin", or a serious offense.  Not until now, at least.

For the last couple of years, the Jehovah's Witnesses have printed two different versions of 'The Watchtower' magazine.  You have a softer, less jargon filled version that is placed in the hands of the public.  I like to call that one 'Watchtower Lite'.  Then, there is the "eyes only" version that church members see.  In the "eyes only" version, there are two articles per issue that are reviewed during Sunday morning "meetings" or services.  The January 15, 2011 issue of the 'Watchtower' has a study article in it which will likely be reviewed by congregations sometime in March.  In it, the article encourages church members to act on behalf of  their brother in the event their brother's conscience is faulty: (Italics mine)

"10.  Some young ones might face a dilemma if they learn that a friend has engaged in unscriptural conduct. They may feel that seeking spiritual help for their friend would violate an unwritten code of silence; therefore, they refuse to speak about the matter because of a misguided sense of loyalty. A wrongdoer may even pressure his friends to keep his sin hidden. Of course, this kind of problem is not unique to young people. Some adults too may find it difficult to approach congregation elders concerning the wrongdoing of a friend or a family member. But how should true Christians react to such pressure?  

11.  Imagine this situation. Suppose that Alex, a young brother, learned that Steve, his friend in the congregation, was in the habit of viewing pornography. Alex tells Steve that he is deeply concerned about what his friend is doing. However, Steve shrugs off his words. When Alex urges him to talk to the elders about it, Steve responds that if the two really are friends, then Alex will not tell on him. Should Alex be afraid of losing his friend? He might wonder whom the elders would believe if Steve denied everything. Still, the situation is not going to improve if Alex keeps quiet about it. Indeed, it could lead to Steve’s losing his relationship with Jehovah. Alex would do well to recall that “trembling at men is what lays a snare, but he that is trusting in Jehovah will be protected.” (Prov. 29:25) What else could Alex do? He might lovingly approach Steve again and lay bare his fault. That will take courage. It may well be, though, that this time Steve will welcome the opportunity to talk about his problem. Alex should again encourage Steve to speak to the elders and tell him that if he does not do so within a reasonable period of time, then Alex will alert them.—Lev. 5:1."

 We're not talking about a situation where you know your friend has committed murder, or rape, or has robbed a bank.  The article's example is if you knew your friend was viewing pornography.  There are a vast number of things that are not allowed within the Witness organization, including: cursing, smoking, masturbating, watching R rated movies, premarital sex, and even reading this very blog post.  Half of these offenses can get you "disfellowshipped", kicked out of the church and shunned by your friends and family.   Now, it appears that congregation members are being told that it's their Christian responsibility to run to the elders every time they're aware of anyone's shortcomings.  Let me tell you, from experience, how embarrassing that can be.

Late one night, when I was 15, my mom walked in on me while I was masturbating.  If that wasn't embarrassing enough for a teenager to go through, it got worse.  Instead of walking out of my room and closing the door, or talking to me later about our awkward moment, she scheduled an appointment to meet with the body of elders at my local congregation.  I had to meet with a pair of old men and discuss my masturbation habits at the tender age of 15.  My mother was not in the room.  Neither was my father.  Hell, my father and I have never even mentioned the incident to each other all these years.  They went over a number of scriptures that they felt talked about why I shouldn't masturbate. (They consider it a selfish and "unclean" act.  They feel that if you masturbate as teenager, you'll have no interest in having sex with your wife or your husband once you're married, because you know how to pleasure yourself.)

At this point, no one is safe.  Married couples can't confide in each other.  Friends can't have an honest, open relationship.  You have to look over your shoulder to make sure that other family members in the house aren't in on your secrets.  It does nothing but make you feel guilty, paranoid, and alone.  Welcome to life as one of Jehovah's Witnesses.  Ready to leave now?

Life With My In-Laws

Last night, I spent most of the evening with my wife's parents. It was nothing really out of the ordinary....yarn talk...dinner...some Wii bowling. And I started thinking about my mother and father in law.

There is such a stereotype in the world when it comes to how your relationship is supposed to be with your in laws. It's the backbone of nightmares, sitcoms, and countless stand up comedy routines. By the time you say "I do", you're already wincing at the thought of having to deal with them face to face.

To say that I was nervous when I first met Joe and Karen, would be an understatement. I was nervous for probably the first two years of my relationship with my wife. I don't know how many times I asked my wife, "Do your parents like me? Do you think they think you could've done better?"

In October of last year, they moved to Arizona and we all decided to share a house temporarily while they looked for jobs in the state. We all lived together for 9 months, until May of this year. Times got tough from time to time. Four adults and an infant in a three bedroom house can get a little dicey, whether you're related to them or not. The last three months we were there, both of my in laws were out of work, and I was on disability. Needless to say, we got to know each other pretty well.

I come from a very affectionate family. We would all hug each other and tell each other "I love you." multiple times a day. My wife's family isn't like that. I guess we're all brought up differently. Doesn't mean they love each other any less. Let me explain.

My dad told me he loved me every day. He was also virtually absent in my life. He lived in the same house as I did, but the only time he ever communicated with me was to punish me (whip me with a belt). We never played outside. We never played catch. He never showed me how to shave or set the expectations of being a man. It was like growing up in a single parent home.

In my adult life, my relationship with my parents was rocky at best. In more recent times, my relationship with my parents is non-existent. We haven't talked in months, and it looks as if there will never be a repair of the damage that has been been done.

My mother and father in law LOVE me. They treat me like their son, and not just the guy that married their daughter. That means more to me than any words that can be written in a thank you card or on an online blog. They love my daughter, and my daughter loves them....sometimes more than she loves my wife and I. Going to "Nana and Buppa's" house is like Disneyland for her.

My wife and I have talked off and on over the last couple of months about moving away from Arizona. Going somewhere cooler, somewhere less Republican. I realized a couple of weeks ago that we can't leave our parents. We have a support system here. It may be two people, but they're two very important people. I've spent more quality time with my father in law in the last year than what I have spent with my birth father my entire life. My daughter will never know her grandparents on my side of the family, her daddy's mommy and daddy. She'll never get to see her cousins, or her aunt or her uncle. I will not deprive her of the opportunity to know the one set of grandparents she has left. She treasures them. Likewise, I would never take her away from her Nana and Buppa. She means the world to them. And if it means putting up with 120 degree days for three months a year.....we'll always be within a 20 minute drive.

There's a line from a Disney movie called 'Lilo and Stitch' that says, "Ohana (Hawaiian word) means family. Family means nobody gets left behind, or forgotten". Joe....Karen....you're Ohana. Blood or not, you're family. Thank you for everything you have done, whether you have realized it or not. It hasn't gone unnoticed. I love you Joe and Karen Mom and Dad.

Your Son,

Adam