My Life In The Last Decade

Looking back over the last ten years, my life has taken quite a few strange turns. I definitely would not have imagined my life being where it will be, come midnight on January 1st, 2010. I have had my share of ups and downs, most of them on a grand scale. This decade has seen me...

...become a man.

...consider suicide more times than I could count.

...care for a number of women, but fall in love with one.

...become a husband and father.

...make the greatest accomplishment of my life. She weighed only eight pounds, one ounce.

...have one family turn it's back on me and another open it's arms.

...search for faith and understand that I've had it all along.

...vote, care, and become politically active.

...become disabled.

...spend more hours in therapy than most people spend in traffic.

...realize that there are more important things in this world than myself.

...care about others around me.

...become a better person (thank you J).

...for the first time in my life, have hope in the next ten years.

Happy New Year, Everyone.

Top 25 Movies of the Decade

This one was tough. There are a number of movies that I haven't seen that I'm sure are quite good(Avatar, Inglorious Basterds, District 9). With that said, I am saying that the following are, in my opinion, as of this moment, the top 25 movies of the decade. In chronological order:

1. High Fidelity - 2000
2. Almost Famous - 2000
3. Billy Elliot - 2000
4. Memento - 2001
5. Hedwig and The Angry Inch - 2001
6. Donnie Darko - 2001
7. Lost In Translation - 2001
8. Kill Bill Vol. 1 - 2003
9. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - 2004
10. Kill Bill Vol. 2 - 2004
11. Shaun of the Dead - 2004
12. The Machinist - 2004
13. Garden State - 2004
14. March of the Penguins - 2005
15. V For Vendetta - 2005
16. The Departed - 2006
17. Children of Men - 2006
18. Michael Clayton - 2007
19. Across the Universe - 2007
20. No Country For Old Men - 2007
21. The Dark Knight - 2008
22. Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist - 2008
23. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - 2008
24. Milk - 2009
25. Up - 2009

Preserving The Sanctity Of Marriage

The New York Times printed a graph today showing two maps of the United States. The first one shows the states in which gay marriage is legal as of 12/31/2009. The second...shows the states in which it is legal TO MARRY YOUR FIRST COUSIN as of 12/31/2009. Unfortunately, I live in a the latter. Way to go Republicans. In twenty years, you'll have 27 states full of inbreds, but at least they'll be heterosexual inbreds. Unbelievable!!



BTW...Iowa...You guys kick ass!

Top 25 Songs of the Decade

My OCD kicked into overdrive on this one. Here are my picks for the top 25 songs from 2000 through 2009...in chronological order, of course:

1. Moby - 'Natural Blues' 03/28/2000; From the album 'Play', which was actually released in '99. The single wasn't released until March of the next year, so it barely made the list.

2. Daft Punk - 'Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger' 10/13/2001

3. Bad Religion - 'Sorrow' 01/31/2002; This song is rumored to be about the Bible book of Job, although it does have many modern references. The song was influential in me questioning a number of things that I was taught as a child.

4. Johnny Cash - 'Hurt' 11/05/2002; Cash's last single released while he was still alive, this cover of the Nine Inch Nails classic took on new meaning in his hands. Stunning and touching video. He died 10 months later on 09/12/2003.

5. Justin Timberlake - 'Cry Me A River' 12/28/2002

6. Blue Man Group - 'Exhibit 13' 04/22/2003; Released as a tribute to the victims of the World Trade Center, the song's title comes from the words found on a piece of paper that floated into a Brooklyn neighborhood on the morning on September 11th.


7. Outkast - 'Hey Ya!' 09/09/2003

8. Gary Jules - 'Mad World' 12/15/2003; A cover of an old Tears For Fears song, Mad World wasn't actually released as a single until more than two years after Donnie Darko, the movie the song was in, had hit theaters. The cult following of the movie had demanded the commercial release of the single.

9. Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth - 'Defying Gravity' - 12/16/2003; From the Broadway musical 'Wicked', 'Defying Gravity' was the climax show and became the song that brought the masses back to Broadway...

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10. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - 'Maps' 02/10/2004

11. Muse - 'Blackout' 03/23/2004; I've said this before...please play this song at my funeral after I die. It's beautiful.


12. A Perfect Circle - 'Counting Bodies Like Sheep To The Rhythm of The War Drums' 09/28/2004; Essentially a remix of their song, Pet, this was the "anti" song of the decade. Anti-Bush, anti-war, anti-establishment, it was, in essence a middle finger to the Bush Administration in the weeks leading up to his reelection.

13. Plain White T's - 'Hey There Delilah' 01/25/2005

14. Imogen Heap - 'Hide and Seek' 05/19/2005

15. Green Day - 'Wake Me Up When September Ends' 06/13/2005

16. Coldplay - 'Fix You' 09/05/2005; I first heard this song at Coachella, in 2005, performed live by the band. Over the years, it has taken on a number of meanings. As an uncle, a husband, and a father. It has a wonderful message of recovery, of overcoming grief. With the events of this past decade, and especially Hurricane Katrina in the Summer of 2005, it was especially fitting.

17. Placebo - 'Running Up That Hill' 03/13/2006; Another cover on the list. This time of a Kate Bush song. This song does such an amazing job at getting under your skin, that it stays with you forever. Other covers come and go, but this one will haunt you in your sleep...

Running Up That Hill

Placebo | MySpace Music Videos

18. Gnarls Barkley - 'Crazy' 03/23/2006

19. Nine Inch Nails - 'Every Day Is Exactly The Same' 04/04/2006

20. Snow Patrol - 'Chasing Cars' 06/06/2006; This song is very special to me. It is "our song". Every couple has their song. This is ours.

21. The Beatles - 'Blackbird/Yesterday' 11/20/2006; Normally, I wouldn't put a 45 year old song on a top 25 list, but this is an exception. Taken from the 'Love' Soundtrack, from their Cirque du Soliel show of the same name, this track mixes together two of their classic tunes. Using technology that wasn't available then, and with a clarity that is only available now, producer Giles Martin creates a masterpiece that gives me a lump in my throat every time I hear this song. And to see it live....brings tears to your eyes. Listen for the high violin on the last verse. Awe inspiring...


22. Amy Winehouse - 'Rehab' 03/20/2007

23. Jason Mraz - 'I'm Yours' 02/12/2008; This song broke a record by charting on the Billboard Top 100 for 76 consecutive weeks. It has been downloaded on ITunes more than 4.4 Million times, making it the third most downloaded song ever. Not bad.

24. Coldplay - 'Viva La Vida' 05/25/2008

25. Lady Gaga - 'Bad Romance' 10/25/2009; I know, I know. Everyone reading this is going to disagree, but it's my list and I am allowed one guilty pleasure song out of 25.

Top 25 Songs of 2009 - Remixed

This is DEFINITELY worth a listen! Every year, DJ Earworm remixes the top 25 pop songs into one giant mash up. 2009's remix is amazing! Granted, I wasn't a fan of much of the pop music this year, but his remixing skills are second to none. In a matter of four minutes and forty five seconds, he was able to mix together, with video, samples of the following songs:

* The Black Eyed Peas - BOOM BOOM POW
* Lady Gaga - POKER FACE
* Lady Gaga Featuring Colby O’Donis - JUST DANCE
* The Black Eyed Peas - I GOTTA FEELING
* Taylor Swift - LOVE STORY
* Flo Rida - RIGHT ROUND
* Jason Mraz - I’M YOURS
* Beyonce - SINGLE LADIES (PUT A RING ON IT)
* Kanye West - HEARTLESS
* The All-American Rejects - GIVES YOU HELL
* Taylor Swift - YOU BELONG WITH ME
* T.I. Featuring Justin Timberlake - DEAD AND GONE
* The Fray - YOU FOUND ME
* Kings Of Leon - USE SOMEBODY
* Keri Hilson Featuring Kanye West & Ne-Yo - KNOCK YOU DOWN
* Jamie Foxx Featuring T-Pain - BLAME IT
* Pitbull - I KNOW YOU WANT ME (CALLE OCHO)
* T.I. Featuring Rihanna - LIVE YOUR LIFE
* Soulja Boy Tell ‘em Featuring Sammie - KISS ME THRU THE PHONE
* Jay Sean Featuring Lil Wayne - DOWN
* Miley Cyrus - THE CLIMB
* Drake - BEST I EVER HAD
* Kelly Clarkson - MY LIFE WOULD SUCK WITHOUT YOU
* Beyonce - HALO
* Katy Perry - HOT N COLD

Take a listen/look. It's quite impressive. If all pop music was bundled together like this for the masses, I would probably purchase more of it.



His top 25 for 2008 can be seen here.

Funny A-Team/Star Wars Mash Up

I found this on another blog I follow this morning. It puts together two of my fondest childhood memories. I don't know who created this video, but, whoever they were, did such a good job at it, I couldn't help but share:

Happy Boxing Day!

In all seriousness, this is easily the coolest holiday on Earth. Why do the Canadians and Australians get all the cool holidays and leave us with Columbus Day? Have fun shopping, mate.

Merry Christmas

Doing The Most Good

There is nothing that I hate more than religious commercials at Christmas time. It seems like there is always a religious organization or a political action committee out there that takes advantage of the backdrop of the holiday. I saw a commercial a couple of days ago that, at first, I thought was no different. But something struck me as odd. It was displaying what seemed to be Bible verses. The first one was Peter 10:17. I knew immediately that it didn't exist. There is no such thing as the book of Peter. There is either First Peter or Second Peter. Residual memories of my brainwashing. I continued to watch:

Chapter & Verse from Eastern Michigan Division on Vimeo.

I was speechless. Finally, a religious organization that was preaching salvation, and not by a heavenly means. This is a group that is "saving" thousands of people a day. People of all faiths, creeds, and colors.

Speaking of which, something struck me in that commercial. One lady said, "When I was stoned". Obviously, this is conduct that the church and the Bible looks down upon. They helped her anyway. This could not be any more Christ like in my opinion.

As a Jehovah's Witness, we never donated to any organization that had ties to another religious organization. We never accepted donations from such organizations, either. We also did not donate or receive donations from the Red Cross, because of their work with blood transfusions. When the tsunami hit Indonesia a few years ago, I donated to the Red Cross and made a blood donation as well. My mother made a donation to her favorite charity: the Watchtower organization. She sent money to have help her "brothers and sisters" in need. She did the same a couple of years earlier when a massive earthquake hit Kobe, Japan.

I was always taught not to treat people differently because they were a different skin color. It was acceptable, though, to treat them differently, or to deny them assistance because of the god they chose to worship, or worse, NOT to worship. That's really a sad way to live your life. I promised myself that I would never be that way once I left that mess. I also promised myself that I would raise my child to give to everyone that needed help, regardless of whether you agreed with them or not. That's what I liked about this commercial.

My little girl is only 19 months old and she looks forward to going to Walmart so she can put a dollar into the little red kettle. Once the holidays are over, we will find another way to encourage her to get excited about giving.

The holiday season is almost over. People will still be hungry in February, in July, and in October. The bell ringers may not be in front of Walmart after next week, but don't forget the Salvation Army. They do a great job at saving people. They do it without requirements. They do it because they want to help. Please do the same. Merry Christmas.

Update

Taking a couple of days off. Trying to compile a couple of lists for the end of the year. Looking for batteries for the baby's Christmas presents before we wrap them. Putting the finishing touches on a couple of Christmas presents that I am making. One of them is being ESPECIALLY DIFFICULT. When I finish it, though, I will be sure to post pictures. If it is as cool as what I am envisioning, it's going to be pretty damn awesome. New calling, perhaps?

Eating like crazy..the new medication I am on is making me gain weight like a mofo. So far, 18 pounds in just the first week. But, I'll get to that at another time. In the meantime, enjoy these next couple of days if you can. Try not to kill anyone if you have to go to Walmart.

RIP, Roy E. Disney

Roy E. Disney, nephew of Walt Disney, died 12/16/2009, from cancer at the age of 79. Other than Walt himself, Roy was possibly the single greatest influence and had the biggest impact on the Disney Company. He was a writer and a producer, but made his presence known as a shareholder more than anywhere else.

In 1984, he led a successful campaign to boot Walt's son in law from the company, and again, in 2004, he led a shareholder mutiny against Michael Eisner. With the removal of Eisner, he helped steer Disney back to it's roots. He was also instrumental in bringing the parks' focus back on the magic and wonder that his uncle Walt had envisioned over a half century ago.

Thank you Roy, for keeping his dream alive. You will be missed.

What English Sounds Like To Foreigners

There is a video floating around the internet at the moment that has gone viral in the last couple of days. It is an Italian music video from 1972 that is actually titled 'Prisencolinensinainciusol', but has appropriately been renamed 'What English Sounds Like To Foreigners'.

The composer of this song intentionally wanted to write a song with English words that made no sense, to show what the typical rock/pop song sounded like to people outside the United States. I must say, he did a fantastic job. Thanks to the magic of the internet, we have the clip today:

See more funny videos and Music Videos at Today's Big Thing.

It reminds me of a story my mother told me a few years ago. She was on vacation in Russia. She said every 10 minutes on the radio, Gwen Stefani's Hollaback Girl came on. Everywhere you went, girls would be singing that song in broken English. Of course, they had no idea what the words meant or what they were even saying. The song just sounded cool. For those of you that doubt that it's really English being spoken in this song, I happened to find a list of the lyrics. They are 95% English. Complete gibberish, but English nonetheless:

here it goes:

We been sayin in the shoes raw hole in bleen the hole rape maybe it the color boss dime

Writ cheese and I'm a get cold baby sustain yeeeeeah boobs Joe Wowooah!

We been sayin in the shoes raw hole in bleen the hole rape maybe it the color boss dime

Whether its the same and ain't you the copy of steam of you never traveled knobber judge a gob diva shehjean

You the gobbernaught juice and i pray for not sure a how a hubba just get a globe a no time

All we did was just stand and light the shoes a globa man you the

Because to the match caught in the frang of yours

All the time baby

My eyes lie sense-lick let me goose the poor with diesel. EYES!

You can call me say-the-what crazy call me next to that chooser. Alright!

My eyes lied senseless and the golds will go with bees well. Eyes!

Bees in all the god choose well. Alright.

Well all she know sleepin in the gibbon the seein 'till im just a

Normal joff hobo have a contained like free as to go.

We been seein in the center of the shoes a come and bend cause there's too many cars a double four a why a cry a can't stand.

My eyes might chance land and hips will go with blazer. Eyezzz.

You a car a maidden say what. Freezing common ace in at twos on alright.

You the ace you don't feel as get up a dawn as people the dance a you like pick your own.

My eyes lied senseless and I guess they go with bees well. Eyes.

You can call me say-the-what freezing call me next to that two song. Alright!

You the ace you dont feel as get up a dawn as people the dance you like pickin your own.

I SMELL A GRAMMY.....

Tourette's/PTSD Update

There have been some ups and downs in regards to my mental and physical health in the last week. First, I have noticed a steady decrease in tics since being placed on Invega by my neurologist. So far, so good. The nights of restlessness and pacing back and forth seem to be a thing of the past as well. Most nights I am still only getting 2-3 hours of sleep. I wake up anywhere between 3:10 and 3:45 in the morning. Sometimes, I am able to force myself back to sleep until a little after 5am, but most mornings, I am up for the day by then. It's a strange feeling. Feels like you're the only one in the world. No one you can call. No one online. No one you can chat with on Facebook. Just you, your laptop, and your boredom for 5 hours until the baby wakes up. You never get used to that.

Since seeing my therapist the other day, I've been having a hard time with my PTSD. I've been having more flashbacks than I've been able to count. It has been extremely tough. Something in particular has been bothering me that I haven't thought about in over a decade. It's very hard to discuss, embarrassing in fact, but I have to get it off my chest.

From the time I was in my early teens, until I was in my early twenties, roughly 8-10 years, I had a problem with bed wetting. This wasn't the occasional piddle on the sheets at night. This was something that happened every single night. I would wake up soaked in my own urine, and would have to change my sheets, find towels to soak up the mattress, and start a load of laundry to wash my underwear, sweats, pajamas(whatever I was wearing to bed that night). It was routine. I must have wet the bed thousands of times over the years. I could never figure out why.

It was the ultimate embarrassment. I wouldn't spend the night at any of my friend's houses in fear it would happen there. My family was afraid to take me on vacation. When on vacation, I would be so nervous, I would try to stay up for 3 to 4 days straight. One time I stayed up at Disneyland for 3 days straight. I finally fell asleep the third night. I woke up the next morning with the bed so soaked, my hair was wet. I was so tired, I didn't even wake myself up after wetting the bed multiple times.

I was afraid to fall asleep on the couch at home or in the living room floor. It got to the point where I wouldn't be allowed to drink anything with dinner or afterward. I still would wet the bed. I finally confided with my doctor and was given a prescription to help stop urine production at night. After my first day on the medication, I stopped wetting the bed.

The thing that is bothering me now is this, did that medication just give me a placebo effect? Was this a psychological condition and not a medical one? I was on that medication for a little over a month and haven't taken it since. That was 12 years ago. Could the reason I was wetting the bed have been because of the abuse and not because of "urine production". Was this all a way for my brain to deal with trauma. My brain basically did the same thing with my bowels back in 2000 and again this year and we just now realized that was part of the PTSD. Why wouldn't my bladder do the same?

The whole idea of this being a possibility is really upsetting me. The trauma of the bed wetting experience itself is devastating. I can't think of anything that can make a teenager feel more alone, more shamed. It's such a personal issue, that even in my mid 30s, I still feel uncomfortable talking about it. The reactions that often come from the parents and siblings often fuel that shame. There is no support. Just finger pointing, giggling, and embarrassment. My mother even made me go into the grocery store to by my own Depends once. There is no support in that.

I am now starting to wonder if, not only was I showing signs of Tourette's as a child, which I am slowly starting to have memories of, but, was I also starting to show symptoms of PTSD as early as my late teens or early twenties. If I have been going untreated for the better part of twenty years, how long will it take me to recover from this? How many hours of therapy will it take to undo the damage that has already been done?

Koala Adoptions

For anyone that liked the idea of the koala adoptions, their website is:

http://www.koalahospital.org.au/adopt/

They are a small operation, so at this point, if you adopt, your paperwork would come back after Christmas. It's $50 a year to adopt, and includes an adoption package which consists of a Certificate of Adoption that has the photo of the adopted koala on the front, the name of the person adopting the koala, the name of the koala and the date of adoption. As well as the Certificate the package also contains a story about the adopted koala, a vinyl sticker with the Koala Hospital's Logo and the words "I Have Adopted A Wild Koala", a colored pamphlet about the Hospital and a booklet about koalas. You can even browse their website and request to adopt a specific koala.

For the person who has everything....or for the person that is impossible to shop for.

Donations For A Fair And Balanced Media

Every Christmas, my wife and I try to make a donation to a charity or an organization we believe is making the world a better place. Whether this is a koala refugee center in Australia that is treating wild koalas that have been burned by wildfires there, or perhaps a political organization like the ACLU.

With the buzz this year about Fox News, I decided to do a post about Media Matters for America. It is one of the organizations that is on my short list this year. Here is one of their promos:



Take this time of the year to donate to something you believe in, whether it be the Humane Society, the Salvation Army, or buying some toys for your local Toys For Tots bin. It's the season for giving, but too often we only think about those in our immediate circle.