To Kids From One To Ninety-Two....

I originally wrote this post four years ago.  Thought I might share it again....


Growing up as one of Jehovah's Witnesses, I didn't have much exposure to the holidays as a child. I never knew the joy of opening up a wrapped present. I never got to see a Christmas tree up close, in all of it's glory. I never heard any holiday song enough to learn the words to it. I didn't want to....except one.

I was very sheltered as a child. My parents tried to "protect" me from the dangers of this "worldly system of things" (yes, that was the language that was used in the house). What they failed to realize, was that you can't control what is being fed into your childrens' brains outside your home. You cannot control the music being played at the grocery store. You can't control what they play at Walmart or Sears.

As I said, for the most part it had no effect on me. I really had no idea what I was missing out on. But when I heard that raspy voice coming over the loud speaker, I knew that there was something important that I was missing out on. That one song - those three minutes - convinced me that Christmas didn't have to be a religious holiday.  It was a time to spend with family and friends. I've never forgotten that.

This was the first, and to my recollection, only Christmas song I learned by heart. It gives me a warm feeling inside every time I hear it, as I hope it does you.

"And so, I'm offering this simple phrase...
to kids from one to ninety two....
although it's been said many times many ways....
Merry Christmas to you....."

'Miracle On 42nd Street' (Video)

May your Holidays be merry and gay...



Is it just me, or is he a hell of a lot better than she'll ever be?

"War Is Over...If You Want It"

The last contingent of American troops left Iraqi soil earlier this morning.

This Christmas, tens of thousands of families will be able to spend the holidays with their loved ones, instead of having them fighting a war overseas.  Mothers will be home to tuck their children into bed on Christmas Eve, and fathers will be there to open presents the following morning.

A myriad of gifts will be opened a week from today, but to many kids in this country, the greatest gift of all will be to have mommy or daddy home.

I thought this song was especially fitting given the situation.

**The following is the official video of the song.  It includes some disturbing images of war, which may be unsettling to some people.  While I could have found an alternate video for the tune, I think that this does a great job at representing the fact that, with human nature, while one armed conflict may be ending, it's only a matter of time before the world finds itself involved in another.**



Welcome home, servicemen and women.

Just In Time For Christmas

Courtesy Jesus Needs New PR.  I'm not sure if this is a real product.  It may be a satire ad.  Let's all hope.  For the record, I could not find the original ad in a Google search.  Blog posts have been criticizing this product as far back as 2008, though.

Could you imagine play time with this action figure?  Your child, with the help of "Enduring Freedom Jesus", ridding the world of all of those pesky Muslims that don't believe in Christianity.  Talk about "hours of fun". (sarcasm)

What is this world coming to?

Dear Santa: All I Want For Christmas Is This...

AN LED MOHAWK VIKING HELMET!!!!  I KNOW, RIGHT?!?!  Check out this video:



Oh, and a cricket bat.

Ooh, Gimme, Gimme, Gimme

I know what I want for Christmas:



Four and a half hours of music videos on 3 DVDs and a hardcover book.  The DVDs include all 35 music videos filmed during Jackson's solo career, and they're the full "mini movie" videos.  From what I can tell, it's going to retail for about $39.99.  It comes out November 22.

Doing The Most Good

There is nothing that I hate more than religious commercials at Christmas time. It seems like there is always a religious organization or a political action committee out there that takes advantage of the backdrop of the holiday. I saw a commercial a couple of days ago that, at first, I thought was no different. But something struck me as odd. It was displaying what seemed to be Bible verses. The first one was Peter 10:17. I knew immediately that it didn't exist. There is no such thing as the book of Peter. There is either First Peter or Second Peter. Residual memories of my brainwashing. I continued to watch:

Chapter & Verse from Eastern Michigan Division on Vimeo.

I was speechless. Finally, a religious organization that was preaching salvation, and not by a heavenly means. This is a group that is "saving" thousands of people a day. People of all faiths, creeds, and colors.

Speaking of which, something struck me in that commercial. One lady said, "When I was stoned". Obviously, this is conduct that the church and the Bible looks down upon. They helped her anyway. This could not be any more Christ like in my opinion.

As a Jehovah's Witness, we never donated to any organization that had ties to another religious organization. We never accepted donations from such organizations, either. We also did not donate or receive donations from the Red Cross, because of their work with blood transfusions. When the tsunami hit Indonesia a few years ago, I donated to the Red Cross and made a blood donation as well. My mother made a donation to her favorite charity: the Watchtower organization. She sent money to have help her "brothers and sisters" in need. She did the same a couple of years earlier when a massive earthquake hit Kobe, Japan.

I was always taught not to treat people differently because they were a different skin color. It was acceptable, though, to treat them differently, or to deny them assistance because of the god they chose to worship, or worse, NOT to worship. That's really a sad way to live your life. I promised myself that I would never be that way once I left that mess. I also promised myself that I would raise my child to give to everyone that needed help, regardless of whether you agreed with them or not. That's what I liked about this commercial.

My little girl is only 19 months old and she looks forward to going to Walmart so she can put a dollar into the little red kettle. Once the holidays are over, we will find another way to encourage her to get excited about giving.

The holiday season is almost over. People will still be hungry in February, in July, and in October. The bell ringers may not be in front of Walmart after next week, but don't forget the Salvation Army. They do a great job at saving people. They do it without requirements. They do it because they want to help. Please do the same. Merry Christmas.

Koala Adoptions

For anyone that liked the idea of the koala adoptions, their website is:

http://www.koalahospital.org.au/adopt/

They are a small operation, so at this point, if you adopt, your paperwork would come back after Christmas. It's $50 a year to adopt, and includes an adoption package which consists of a Certificate of Adoption that has the photo of the adopted koala on the front, the name of the person adopting the koala, the name of the koala and the date of adoption. As well as the Certificate the package also contains a story about the adopted koala, a vinyl sticker with the Koala Hospital's Logo and the words "I Have Adopted A Wild Koala", a colored pamphlet about the Hospital and a booklet about koalas. You can even browse their website and request to adopt a specific koala.

For the person who has everything....or for the person that is impossible to shop for.

Donations For A Fair And Balanced Media

Every Christmas, my wife and I try to make a donation to a charity or an organization we believe is making the world a better place. Whether this is a koala refugee center in Australia that is treating wild koalas that have been burned by wildfires there, or perhaps a political organization like the ACLU.

With the buzz this year about Fox News, I decided to do a post about Media Matters for America. It is one of the organizations that is on my short list this year. Here is one of their promos:



Take this time of the year to donate to something you believe in, whether it be the Humane Society, the Salvation Army, or buying some toys for your local Toys For Tots bin. It's the season for giving, but too often we only think about those in our immediate circle.

One Cool Christmas Light Display

It's being dubbed "Christmas Light Hero", and it's quite impressive. In fact, I have never seen a home display quite like it. I can't imagine how long it took to plan this massive display, let alone set it up. Synced with Eric Johnson's 'Ah Via Musicom' from Guitar Hero III, this display even includes the scrolling, multi-colored buttons on the garage door. Sure to put any video game lover, or music lover for that matter, in the Christmas spirit. Enjoy:

"She's Crafty, And She's Just My Type"

I normally wouldn't reserve a blog post for garland and ornaments, but today I just had too. Last night, we set up our family Christmas tree. We were debating whether or not to set one up this year because of the baby. With an 18 month old running around the house, standard ornaments are not a good idea. We didn't want dozens of brightly colored glass "balls" being thrown at the walls and floors in an attempt to bounce them, or at the cats. And we didn't want any unwelcome additions to her ball pit.

My wife came up with a brilliant plan: hand make the ornaments. As most of you know, she is the artist in the family. This is what she came up with. The garland is crocheted, and the ornaments were made with fabric and ribbon. I think our tree is gorgeous, and I just had to share. Take a look at these short videos:

Twitch's 2009 Holiday Gift Giving Guide

With only 14 shopping days left before Christmas, I know that some of you are looking for the perfect gift to give that special someone in your life. I have compiled a list of some of the best Christmas gifts that I have found on the internet over the last few months.

FOR THE MUSIC LOVER:



How can you go wrong with this? It's a fucking Weezer Snuggie! And it comes with their new cd! How cool is that?! OK, moving on.....

FOR THE LOVER OF THE ARTS:



This one comes from Etsy. It's a watercolor portrait of the Phantom of the Opera. Measures 27"x34". For a mere $12,500, it can be yours. Description from the artist: "Decorate your walls with a painting that would reflect the pain, the sorrow, the beauty, the joy, that is displayed on stage. Having the right artwork that reflects all of these things is essential." Please let me know if you purchase this. I would love to see your bathroom after you hang it.

NOW, FOR THE WOMAN IN YOUR LIFE THAT HAS EVERYTHING:



The "Copulating Earthworm" necklace. Again from Etsy, this piece challenges the timeless ad, "Say It With Diamonds", and says, "Nay Nay. Say It With Fucking Worms". It sells for $160.00 and comes with a free Do-It-Yourself divorce kit.

AND IF ALL ELSE FAILS (LAST MINUTE/DO IT YOURSELF GIFT):



Perfect for all occasions. Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa...New Years...the list goes on and on.

File Under: WTF?

I think Bob Dylan is one of the greatest musicians of my lifetime....but a Christmas album?...really?!?

Soundtrack of My Life 12/06/2009 - Nat King Cole 'The Christmas Song'

Growing up as one of Jehovah's Witnesses, I didn't have much exposure to the holidays as a child. I never knew the joy of opening up a wrapped present. I never got to see a Christmas tree up close in all of it's glory. I never heard any holiday song enough to learn the words to it. I didn't want to....except one.

I was very sheltered as a child. My parents tried to "protect" me from the dangers of this "worldly system of things" (yes, that was the language that was used in the house). What they failed to realize was that you can't control the stimuli that is being fed into your childrens' brains outside your home. You cannot control the music being played at the grocery store or at the mall. You can't control the music being played at Walmart or at Sears.

As I said, for the most part it had no effect on me. I really had no idea what I was missing out on. But when I heard that beautiful, raspy voice coming over the loud speaker, singing about that special day, I knew that there was something more to life that what I was living. That one song, those three minutes, convinced me that Christmas didn't have to be a religious holiday, but rather a time for giving and to be with family. I've always remembered that.

This was the first, and to my recollection, only Christmas song I learned by heart. It gives me a warm feeling inside every time I hear it, as I hope it does you.

"And so, I'm offering this simple phrase...
to kids from one to ninety two....
although it's been said many times many ways....
Merry Christmas to you....."

This Week's Sign Of The Impending Apocalypse

Straight from the manufacturer's website:



That's right....Now available for dogs...IT'S THE SNUGGIE!!!

Now your spouse and children aren't the only members of the family you can torture this holiday season. Now the dog can be included in all the embarrassment and misery that is the Snuggie. At least they were able to corner the pet market before the knock off companies came up with the idea.

I Have Seen The Future Of Gaming

I have seen the future of gaming. I have seen the hottest video game title of the year. The game people will be trading everything they have into GameStop in order to buy before Christmas morning. That game is 'DJ Hero'.

Jessi and I were at Best Buy this afternoon, and were able to experience a hands-on demo of the game. The demo featured three songs:

'Heard It Through The Grapevine' vs. 'Feel Good Inc.'
'Hollaback Girl' vs. 'Give It To Me'
'Boom Boom Pow' vs. 'Satisfaction'

The mixes are first rate. Just as good, if not better than anything that I've heard in the club. It's no surprise why. Mixes by DJ AM, Z-Trip, and other world class DJs were used by the makers of the game to make it as genuine as possible. If I were able to rip these tracks off as MP3s, the game would be worth it alone just for the music.

The hardware was sturdy and realistic. It looked and acted as a real turntable. Not as big, but life like.

My only complaint, the price. At $120, it's a little pricey when other games out there are selling for $60. You literally can get two other games that are coming out for the Christmas holiday, or another title with a cool peripheral('Tony Hawk's Ride') for the same price.

I must admit, the game is going to do for turntable sales what 'Guitar Hero'/'RockBand' did for guitars. I can't wait to see what DLC they have coming out for this game. I can't wait to see a bunch of little eight year olds wanting to be DJs....only in a perfect world.