"I'm Christian, Unless You're Gay."

Bravo.

Allowable Marriage: According To The Bible (Chart)

Many people today believe in a literal interpretation of the Bible.  They believe that it is actually the word of god.  Since the book of Leviticus says that men lying together "are an abomination", then, in their minds, 6000 years later, obviously god doesn't want people to be having gay sex.  That being said, I thought I would share the other types of marriages that are permissible, according to the Bible.  Pay attention.

Now, the whole rapist/victim match up...that is an abomination.  However, I think the brother-in-law thing still takes place in West Virginia. (shudders)

Discriminatory Christian Advertisement Of The Day

Charlie Whittington, owner of Kwik Kar Lube & Service in Plano, Texas, has one hell of a deal for you.  (pun intended)  Come into his location, recite John 3:16, and get an oil change, which normally costs $34.99, for $19.99.  If you happen to be a Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist or an Atheist customer - Google it.  Otherwise, it sucks to be you.  Seriously.

Offensive?  Absolutely.  Illegal?  Not in Texas.  As Kwik Kar Lube is a "privately owned business", Charlie has the right to refuse service to anyone, for any reason.  So tomorrow, he could theoretically have an ad giving free oil changes for married, white, heterosexual Christian men only. 

Whittington's reasoning is sound behind the ad, saying "I'm not making you do anything, and I'm tired of people making me do something."  Makes complete sense from someone that misspelled "Quick" and "Car" to me.

In case you aren't familiar with John 3:16, it's a favorite of Christians worldwide.  It says:

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life $15 off their next oil change."

Once, just once, I would like to see an atheist alternative to this.  Show me an atheist owned business, where they offer $20 off a service if you come in and curse god.  If anyone has seen an example of this, please... PLEASE...forward it to me.  Thank you.

Oh, one last thing...  One of my biggest pet peeves.  I absolutely hate when I see little "Jesus fishes" in business ads.  It's nothing but a way for businesses to swindle money out of fellow "Christians".  Let's be honest.  Does it mean that they follow Christian business practices?  Hell no.  It means, "Give me your money instead of my heathen competitor".  What a fucking joke.

Thanks to Patheos for the pic.

Happy Blasphemy Day International

Blasphemy Day International was created in 2009 to coincide with the anniversary of the publication of satirical cartoons of the prophet Muhammad by a Denmark newspaper in 2005, and the furor those cartoons later sparked within the international Islamic community.  Seriously.  137 people were killed in protests around the world.  The original cartoonists had bounties placed upon their heads.

Even within the United States, six states (Massachusetts, Wyoming, Michigan, South Carolina, Oklahoma and Pennsylvania) still have anti-blasphemy laws on the books.  While blasphemy is punishable by death in most Middle Eastern countries, many Western nations still have anti-blasphemy laws.  21 other European nations have "religious insult" laws in place.

Let me just say, I am 100% for blasphemy.  If someone can tell my kid that the Easter Bunny doesn't exist, then I should be able to say that neither does your imaginary friend that controls the weather.  You know, there's a term for someone that has conversations with somebody that doesn't exist.  I believe it's called schizophrenic.

And in 2011, when people blame everything on god, from their stance on gay marriage, to their decision on running for President, they're not Christian.  They're mental.  They should not be applauded.  They should be put in a straight jacket and locked away.

OK.  Stepping down from my soapbox, now.  Sorry.  Here is a photo to celebrate the day.

Best.  Photo.  EVER.

I also wanted to include a video of one of my favorite songs.  As I left the church, this song became more meaningful to me growing up.  It's blasphemous as all hell (no pun intended), but as someone who later in life started to identify themselves as an atheist, it really spoke volumes as to the way I felt about god.

Twenty-some-odd years after hearing it for the first time, and I still get goosebumps.  

So, that's my take on blasphemy.  Really?  Did you expect anything less?  Was is Thomas Jefferson that said, "Dissent is the highest form of patriotism"?  If that's the case, then consider me a religious patriot.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to consult my daughter's sock monkey on some important, life changing decisions that need to be made in upcoming days.

Just In Time For Christmas

Courtesy Jesus Needs New PR.  I'm not sure if this is a real product.  It may be a satire ad.  Let's all hope.  For the record, I could not find the original ad in a Google search.  Blog posts have been criticizing this product as far back as 2008, though.

Could you imagine play time with this action figure?  Your child, with the help of "Enduring Freedom Jesus", ridding the world of all of those pesky Muslims that don't believe in Christianity.  Talk about "hours of fun". (sarcasm)

What is this world coming to?

Video: Alabama Judge Gives Criminals Option Of Church Or Jail Time

Last week, a judge in Bay Minette, Alabama, has started to offer non-violent offenders the option of going to church for 52 consecutive Sundays, in lieu of time in jail.  Nearly 60 churches in the area, from a variety of denominations, are participating in the program.



Thank you, but I'll pass.  Besides, I've been told that the orange jail uniforms really bring out my eyes.

Video: Kathy Griffin Reads Letter From Offended Christian

Facebook Status Of The Day

Courtesy of Jesus Needs New PR:

Yeah, like Cher's kid is responsible for the end of the world.

Video: Have You Heard Of This "Manly" Christianity Movement?

Fellowship Church, a megachurch in the Dallas, Texas, area, is holding a "Men's Conference" at the end of September.  According to their website, it promises "2 days of testosterone fueled MAN STUFF(Their capitalization, not mine). Combining intensity, entertainment, teaching and worship; it’s the kind of weekend that will make you high five a total stranger!"  This is their ad:





Yes, for only $35 in advance, (ticket prices go up September 5th) you and your slack-jawed Christian Neanderthal friends can arm wrestle, participate in strong man competitions and play basketball...all while being saved by Christ!


This off shoot of modern Christianity has its roots in something called Muscular Christianity.  It started in the late 19th century as a way to recruit men, by using sports as a way to express moral values, such as discipline and manliness.  Interestingly enough, the movement has some of it's roots in Nazi Germany.  Go figure.


I guess their interpretation of the Bible is that Jesus and the 12 disciples played some Texas Hold'em, and healed the sick between practicing their Brazilian Jiu Jitsu moves.  The compassion, mercy and love stuff?  Who do you think Jesus was...some kind of queer? 

Cartoon: Impeach President God

Via The Uniblog

Video: Preacher Forces Teens To Out Themselves During Sermon

Another video featuring the same despicable individuals that ripped off the crowd of teenagers in another video I posted last week.   This time around, they're forcing gay and lesbian kids to out themselves in front of the audience.  I apologize in advance for the few seconds of chipmunk voice mid-way through the clip.



Didn't you get that warm fuzzy feeling inside when he said that "people don't love you because you're gay, they love you because you're perverts"?  I know I did.

I had to do quite a bit of Googling, but it appears that our "douchebag for the lord" is Pastor Damon Thompson.  He runs a highly successful ministry called The Ramp out of Hamilton, Alabama.  Considering that Hamilton is a podunk town with only 6,800 residents, Jethro Thompson must be making quite a living, considering hundreds of teens show up at each of their services.

Reportedly, Thompson also uses anti-gay slurs regularly during his services.  Talk about setting an example as a Christian.

The Greatest Internet Troll Of All Time

According to Wikipedia, an internet troll is defined as the following:

"In internet slang, a troll is someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking readers into an emotional response or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion."

 I am pleased to introduce Muriel J. Compton.  Either "Muriel" is the greatest internet troll to have ever lived, or a woman in need of serious help.  If this is an act, she is on an Andy Kaufman level of comedic genius.

Muriel has been making the rounds at the Babycenter.com forums for years now.  It has just been in the last couple of weeks that she has become well known outside the Baby Center circle.  I happened across one of her posts that have recently gone viral.  Last year, in the Baby Center forums, she posed the following question:

"Dinosaurs are one of Satan's many ways of tricking man", much like gravity, magnets, and the fact that the Earth goes around the Sun.  At first glance, I thought, "This has to be a joke".  Then, I discovered more posts from Muriel covering the last two to three years.  Check out this one, posted in October of 2008:

"As a Christian, should I allow my children to dress for Halloween?  Every year when my children see the costumes at the stores for Halloween, they ask me why they are not allowed to dress in them. I always tell them because Halloween is the Devil's holiday, and just because they see people in the world doing things, doesn't mean they should do them. Halloween, to me, is a holiday that glorifies Satan. I see masks with the Devil's horns, ghosts (souls never become ghosts, they always go to Heaven or Hell), demons, witches, pagan fairies, and other scary creatures that are not pleasing to God. I get many negative comments from other parents saying I am mean and my kids must never have any fun, which is not true. They have many fun activities with the church that we do. But recently I was talking to my neighbor, who is also a Christian, although she does allow her children to wear costumes. She just won't let them be anything that is evil. They are allowed to dress as cats, dogs, and other creatures of God's. I see this as being OK, but there is always the issue of the meaning behind Halloween and the Satanic pagan rituals that are a part of it, and I certainly wouldn't want to confuse my children by telling them that one aspect of it is OK, but one aspect is not. Can you think of reasons which glorify God to wear a costume, so that we can honor the Lord if I do allow them to dress for this holiday? One idea I had is to dress them in clothing like children growing up when Jesus did would have worn. I have prayed for guidance but the Lord seems to be telling me to decide for myself what is right."

Mom, is that you?

After receiving numerous inflammatory comments on the above post, Muriel, in true troll fashion, started a completely new thread to say that she wasn't a troll...or a liar.  Why she couldn't simply post an additional comment on the existing thread is beyond me.

"I am not a troll or a liar.  A member questioned the fact that I am a new grandmother and homeschool my children. Both are true. I have five children that range in age from 4 to 24."  

If that isn't the definition of troll, I don't know what is.

I for one, don't know whether to be the president of Muriel's fan club, or call Child Protective Services on her.  I would like to think that Muriel is a thirty something guy in New York City that is taking his frustrations out on the Christian Right by inventing this character with such antiquated beliefs.  However, growing up as I did, raised by a mother very similar to Muriel, I have a sinking feeling that this is all too real.

I was never allowed dinosaur toys as a child.  My mom did believe that dinosaurs once existed, but were washed away by the flood of Noah.  I couldn't Trick or Treat, as Halloween was a "holiday for Satan".  I wasn't allowed to watch The Smurfs or He-Man.  I couldn't even watch Star Wars as a kid, since my mom believed that "the force" was a religion.

If these posts are legitimate, I truly feel sorry for those children.  The future can not look good for the Compton household.  It will likely involve a healthy dose of bitterness and jaded feelings toward the family matriarch.  I can say this from experience.

If you're looking for a good laugh, Muriel has recently restarted her account with babycenter.com, and has been vehemently defending herself, as of late.  Good stuff.  

Bullshit Christianist Propaganda Poll Of The Day

I have spoken about World Net Daily's website a number of times in the past.  They are a vile, hate filled mouthpiece for the Christian Right.  They're anti-gay, xenophobic and not afraid to make their opinions known.  They regularly conduct polls amongst their readers.  Often times, the question or the choice of responses are skewed in a way to where people have no choice but to answer in the direction that the website leans.

Today is no exception.  In response to yesterday's domestic terrorist attack in Norway, WND asked the following question:

"Islamic terrorism"?  Ladies and gentlemen, here is your "Islamic terrorist":

His name is Anders Breivik.  Oslo Police are describing him as "right wing and a Christian fundamentalist", exactly the profile of those who read World Net Daily.  Hours before the attack took place, Breivik posted a 1500 page manifesto online detailing preparations and calling for a Christian war to defend Europe against the threat of Muslim domination.  His neighbors even described him as a gun-loving American Norwegian obsessed with what he saw as the threats of multiculturalism and Muslim immigration. Essentially, he's Norway's version of Timothy McVeigh.

At this time, 92 people are dead from yesterday's dual attacks.  At least 86 of those people were shot and killed when Breivik, dressed as a police officer, gathered dozens of people together at a youth camp and methodically opened fire on them, one by one, with an automatic rifle.  Crews are still pulling bodies out of the bombed government buildings in Central Oslo.

Does anyone use Google anymore, or are they fine with accepting this bullshit propaganda at face value?  I can't wrap my head around this kind of blatant racism.  

Christian Dating Site Forbids Same-Sex Smiling

The photo above is a screen capture from ChristianMingle.com, a major online Christian dating website.  As you can see, "you cannot send a smile to users of the same gender".  I think "smiles" on this site may be similar to sending a "wink" on Match.com, or other "heathen" dating sites.  We all know what winking leads to.  Right fellas?

Seriously though, I can't even smile at another guy on that site?  It's not like I'm sending the dude naked pics of myself or anything.  It's a damn smile.

World Net Daily Asks: Are Christians Being Picked On?

World Net Daily, the ultra conservative, evangelical, Christian right news site has a history of pandering to a targeted demographic of reader.  Even after President Obama furnished his long form birth certificate, the site continued to suggest the "birther" conspiracy theory.

Previous articles on the website have reported such nonsense as that a new trend is that gay parents are selectively aborting heterosexual fetuses, and that gays and Muslims are trying to infiltrate the Republican party.  Let's just say, the website is an acquired taste.  According to their site, they receive 40 million views and 5 million unique visitors per month, so somebody out there is reading what they're saying.

This morning, they printed an online survey asking, "Do you believe U.S. Christians are being persecuted?".  So far, 94% say YES.  3% say MAYBE.

According to Wikipedia, 76% of the American population is Christian.  How can the overwhelming majority of a country's residents feel threatened or terrorized by the minority.  Doesn't it work the other way around?

Display Of Brotherhood In Egyptian Protests

I had to share this picture I saw on Al Jazeera's blog this morning.  It shows protesters in Tahrir Square on Thursday afternoon.  While Muslim protesters were completing their daily prayers, Christian protesters held hands, forming a ring around their Muslim brethren, to protect them from counter protesters while vulnerable.  The image gave me chills.  It showed beyond a doubt that these people were not violent, but peaceful and united, regardless of religious background.  Truly heartwarming.