Sunday Comics

Sunday Comics

 

See?  Jesus would approve of me downloading Game of Thrones.  Yeah.  Religious freedom and such. 

"Do This In Remembrance Of Me"

Growing up as a Jehovah's Witness, I didn't get to celebrate SHIT!  No Christmas.  Trick or treating wasn't allowed.  No birthdays.  Fuck, I wasn't even able to buy my mom a Mother's Day card.  My childhood sucked.  I tried to explain to everyone that, "You don't need to have a holiday to get toys or presents.  We get presents all the time."  That was an fucking lie.

The one "holiday" that we did celebrate as Witnesses was "The Memorial of Christ's Death" or "The Memorial", as we all called it.  Imagine the strange looks you get telling that to your classmates when you're in the first grade.  The Memorial is a reenactment of sorts, of the Last Supper.  It coincides, supposedly, with the date on the Jewish calendar of Nisan 14, the day way back in the year 33 A.D., that Jesus and all of his drinking buddies hung out one last time.

Dramatic reenactment

The bible quotes him as saying, "Keep doing this in remembrance of me".  So, once a year, and only once a year, all of the Witnesses in the world come out from under their rocks and meet.  It was the one event during my childhood where I was guaranteed to get new dress clothes and have dinner out.  There are only 7.4 million JWs in the world.  In 2011, they had 19.4 million people show up for this thing.  They sing a couple of songs, read some passages from the Gospels detailing what happened that night, then they pass the bread and the wine that symbolize Christ's body and blood.  Unlike Catholics, they don't eat it.  They just pass the plate around.  You only partake if you believe that you're one of the 144,000 "chosen ones", or super special unicorn Jehovah's Witnesses that are going to heaven.

He totally drank the wine...

I tried to explain all of this to my wife once.  The Nisan 14 thing, how it's related to the Israelites in Egypt, the 10 plagues, the bread and the wine, how it has to happen after sundown, 144,000, etc.  She just looked at me like this:

Wha?

I'll be honest...I never understood the "logic" either.  Never wanted to.  At least the Witnesses believed that the bread and the wine were symbolic.  Based upon the Catholic way of thinking, you were taking part in cannibalism during each communion.  

Do you think Jesus would have ever guessed that, 2,000 years later, millions of people would be reenacting his night in the champagne room?  I don't think so.

Sunday Comics

So THAT'S How Jesus Did It

This was a Red Bull advertisement that was airing in South Africa.  I say "was", because it has since been pulled after complaints from both Christian and Muslim organizations in the country, claiming that it insulted their faith.

No one has a sense of humor anymore.

Twitch's Sunday Comics

Jehovah's Witness Mice (Cartoon)

Just In Time For Christmas

Courtesy Jesus Needs New PR.  I'm not sure if this is a real product.  It may be a satire ad.  Let's all hope.  For the record, I could not find the original ad in a Google search.  Blog posts have been criticizing this product as far back as 2008, though.

Could you imagine play time with this action figure?  Your child, with the help of "Enduring Freedom Jesus", ridding the world of all of those pesky Muslims that don't believe in Christianity.  Talk about "hours of fun". (sarcasm)

What is this world coming to?

Facebook Status Of The Day

Courtesy of Jesus Needs New PR:

Yeah, like Cher's kid is responsible for the end of the world.

Video: Have You Heard Of This "Manly" Christianity Movement?

Fellowship Church, a megachurch in the Dallas, Texas, area, is holding a "Men's Conference" at the end of September.  According to their website, it promises "2 days of testosterone fueled MAN STUFF(Their capitalization, not mine). Combining intensity, entertainment, teaching and worship; it’s the kind of weekend that will make you high five a total stranger!"  This is their ad:





Yes, for only $35 in advance, (ticket prices go up September 5th) you and your slack-jawed Christian Neanderthal friends can arm wrestle, participate in strong man competitions and play basketball...all while being saved by Christ!


This off shoot of modern Christianity has its roots in something called Muscular Christianity.  It started in the late 19th century as a way to recruit men, by using sports as a way to express moral values, such as discipline and manliness.  Interestingly enough, the movement has some of it's roots in Nazi Germany.  Go figure.


I guess their interpretation of the Bible is that Jesus and the 12 disciples played some Texas Hold'em, and healed the sick between practicing their Brazilian Jiu Jitsu moves.  The compassion, mercy and love stuff?  Who do you think Jesus was...some kind of queer?