Bl4ck D4ys Ind33d...

This website started as 'The Daily Twitch', on September 11, 2009.  My first post was about the Star Spangled Banner.  I've improved greatly as a writer since then.  Some of the early articles were downright cringe worthy.

In July/August of 2011, I decided to purchase my own custom domain name.  The Daily Twitch was already taken.  So, after a couple of days debating various names, The Twitch Online was born.

As the following months eventually became years, "Twitch" was no longer an appropriate identifier for the website.  This blog started as a way to document my recent Tourette's diagnosis.  Since then, the focus of the blog has changed, as has my life.  My Tourette's Syndrome is the LEAST of my concerns. 

It's a daily struggle (with myself, mind you) to be a good father and husband.  Since starting this site, and in addition to the Tourette's and PTSD, I have been diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes, a Chiari Malformation, a massive, inoperable but benign cyst in my brain, Fibromyalgia, and Sjogren's Syndrome.  The day after tomorrow, I find out if I have Multiple Sclerosis or not.  And, that's in addition to three spinal surgeries that I had in 2011.  I'm as much "Twitch" anymore as I am the Sultan of Burnei.

Change is inevitable. 

A few weeks back, I started taking steps to change the site name to "Fell On Black Days".  The first changes came to the Facebook page and some of the cosmetics on the site.  Point of advice:  Always...ALWAYS...do your research before you follow through on any plans you have. 

I changed the page name in a number of different areas...without checking first if it was available.  "Fell On Black Days" is the title of a popular song by Soundgarden.  That being said, it was not available in any form or variation...anywhere.  I didn't choose the name based upon the song title.  I thought it was a fun play on words.  "Black Days"...Nicholai Black.  You know?  It also described how I "fell into" this current mess of medical issues.  I thought it would make a nice name for an autobiographical blog.

Eventually, I figured out that I had to pull a license plate trick on the page's name.  Substitute the A's for 4's.  Bl4ck D4ys was born.

Another item I should have researched was how Google would react to the name change.  After the fact, I found out that, when going from a "blogname.blogspot.com" address to a custom URL, Google will automatically redirect any search results that point to your site.  However, when you go from a custom domain to a "blogname.blogspot.com" address, or from "oneblog.blogspot.com" to "anotherblog.blogspot.com", Google actually prevents any redirect from happening.  This is a security measure that is in place, to prevent spam websites from bouncing around from URL to URL.

Up until a couple of days ago, there were a number of search terms that Google had my page listed as their top result.  Most of them were in regards to stories I had written about Jehovah's Witnesses.  If you searched "Jay Z Jehovah's Witness", "Jehovah's Witnesses Bisexual", or even "Tattoo Guy Lady Gaga", The Twitch Online would come up first.   Google brought me a lot of traffic.  I had no idea how much until this week.

 

 

 

 

See if you can guess when I changed my page name..

Usually, I could count on 20-30 pageviews per hour, or 250+ per day.  95% or more came from Google searches.  There hasn't been a single view on the page for three days.  That hasn't happened since the week the blog was started four years ago.  Four years of building search algorithms...down the drain.

I'm starting over.  I have no choice.  Yes, it's heartbreaking and extremely depressing.  I've cried a number of times this week.  But, what else can I do?  I've worked to hard on this to give up.  I can't walk away from 1200 posts.  What would you do?

For those of you that have been with me since the beginning, thank you.  There are a number of you that I have come to know quite well over the years.  I appreciate your support.

Buckle up.  Please keep all hands and feet in the car at all times.  Enjoy the ride.....

My Fourth "Twitch Day"

On June 25, 2009, I was officially diagnosed with Tourette's Syndrome.  Since then, every June 25th has been deemed my annual "Twitch Day". 

Life has undergone so many changes since I started exhibiting symptoms of TS.  If not for Tourette's, I wouldn't have started writing.  1,149 posts later, I'm still at it.  Granted, it's not as often as I would like to publish.  As I have been feeling better, I've been spending less and less time online.  But, nearly 1,200 blog posts is quite an accomplishment (for my ADHD ass, anyway). 

Because of Tourette's, I am also currently on Social Security Disability.  I'm making less than half of what I did, working technical support for Verizon Wireless, but we get by.  Some months, it requires one hell of a juggling act to make ends meet.  But, if it weren't for TS, I wouldn't have become a stay-at-home dad.  I would likely be working 10-12 hours a day, and my little girl would spend most of her week in daycare.  There is nothing better than sitting on the couch, having her walk into the living room, staggering and sleepy eyed, and getting the first hug of the day.  I am so incredibly lucky to be able to stay home, do some chores around the house, and spend time with my baby.

In the last 4-6 weeks, I have doubted the possibility that I have Tourette's Syndrome.  Since starting on a gluten free diet, my tics have all but disappeared.  Up until today, I have only had one tic in the last month.  I have read in a couple of places that, for unknown reasons, Tourette's and Celiac disease tend to go hand in hand.  Anecdotal evidence suggests that if you have Tourette's Syndrome, odds are you have some type of gluten intolerance.  

So far today, I have been ticking like mad.  They're complex tics, meaning that I'm having motor tics and vocal tics simultaneously.  My "go to" tic has always been where my head cocks back violently, and I, well, bark.

I have been stressed out today, and I didn't sleep very well last night.  Pair that with the fact that I'm exerting myself more and more each day (physically speaking), and I tend to overdo it.  I forget that, just six weeks ago, I couldn't walk.  Now, I'm spending more quality time with my daughter.  I'm doing dishes, and laundry, vacuuming, and taking out the trash every day.  I've started to add some type of physical activity to my day.  I have also stepped up my volunteer work in recent weeks.  I have to remember, "baby steps".  I need to pace myself, so that I don't die from exhaustion before the end of the month.

I thought my Tourette's had completely gone away with the start of the gluten free diet.  Turns out, I was wrong.  It's no big deal.  I can handle this. 

I've said it before...the twitching, the stuttering and jerking and shouting have all become part of who I am.  To be honest, I can't picture myself without it anymore.

I am Twitch, as much as I am Adam. 

What You Can Accomplish When You Feel Good

 This is the cleanest our apartment has been since we moved in in December.  Last Thursday, we moved furniture and unpacked a stack of boxes and totes that were untouched from the time we got here.  

I have vacuumed twice since then.  At the moment, I am bored as all hell, because there isn't anything for me to do around here.  Load the washer.  Wait an hour.  Transfer it to the dryer.  Repeat.

Lately, it seems like I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to the site.  First, I can't think of anything to write about.  Secondly, I have sort of forgotten how to write.  I have never written while in a good mood.  It's very strange.

My activism has suffered as well.  It's not that I'm no longer interested in the issues.  It's that I'm not angry anymore.  Not angry enough to raise hell about it, at least.  I am much more of a positive person than I ever thought I was.

Who would have thought that being healthy and happy would pose problems?  Guess I need to find a new hobby.....or a job.

A Change Of Pace

I was telling the wifey earlier tonight that I have ZERO desire to continue my political activism anymore.  The fire is gone.  I think that for the last few years, I've been channeling my anger and depression into something else, instead of incessantly complaining.  Politics and religion were easy targets.

 Now...I'm happy for the first time in my life.  This feeling may be short lived, but I don't have the ability to criticize or be snarky like I used to.  Hell, for the last two days, I've posted a "Feel Good Video of the Day" on my site.  That's not like me. 'The Twitch' has been nothing but doom and gloom since it started nearly three years ago. 

I'm tired of being the asshole that constantly rains on everyone else's parade.  It's not something that I would like to be known for. 

That being said, some changes are coming to the site.  As you may have already noticed, the header at the top of the page has already been changed.  "You met me at a very strange time in my life" is quite fitting.  Those of you that have been following me for a while haven't had a chance to get to know the real me.  I thought I had forgotten who that person was, myself.  I used to tell people that I wasn't really a pessimist.  I was a "realist".  Let's face it.  I was an asshole.  Plain and simple.  But, could you blame me?

This is like writing for the first time, all over again.  I don't know where to start or how to do this.  I just know that I want to create something that my wife enjoys reading.  She stopped reading my site long ago, because my posts did nothing but depress her.

While I still may write the occasional post about politics, religion, or some bigot out there in the world, I'm not going to harp on it.  The update will be written because "this needs to be seen", instead of "take a look at this asshole".

Bear with me.  This is going to be a learning experience for all of us. 

100,000 Hits

Wow.

At the moment, 'The Twitch' is at 100,200 hits.  Unbelievable.

It took two years and seven days to make it to the 50,000 mark.  To hit 100k, it only took another six months and 22 days.  Incredible.

Granted, I'm still considered a "small fry" in the blogging world.  There are a couple of blogs that I follow that get 1.8 to 2.1 million hits a month.  But, for a disabled stay-at-home dad, 10,000 hits a month is pretty fucking good.  I'll certainly take it.

Thank you all for stopping by.  Hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing.

And, in case you weren't aware, I recently started a Facebook page for 'The Twitch Online'.  Feel free to "Like" me.  Please continue leaving your comments and messages.  I thoroughly enjoy reading them.

Thanks again, everyone.  This is just...wow.

p.s.  Thanks to the members of BabyCenter.com for pushing me over the top.  :)

Attention Feed Subscribers: Check Out 'The Twitch' On Facebook

This post is specifically intended for those of you that read 'The Twitch' through a subscription feed.

First of all, thank you so much for following me.  It has been your loyalty that has motivated me to keep writing.  Things have been really crazy lately, with having to deal with medical issues and finding my place as a stay-at-home dad.  Through it all, you've stuck around, and it means a lot to me.

Last week I started a dedicated Facebook page for the website.  I would appreciate it if you 'Liked' it.

Thanks for reading.  Don't be strangers.  Tell me your opinion on what you read.  I'd love to read your comments.

1,000 Posts

This post marks a significant milestone for 'The Twitch'.  It's my 1,000th post.  When I started the site in September of 2009, it was with the intention of making it an online journal of sorts to document my newly diagnosed Tourette's Syndrome and PTSD.  I never would have thought that, two and a half years later, the page would have changed in the ways that it has to become was it is today.

In my 36 years of life, I have not followed through with 1,000 of anything.  I have consistently, time after time, given up when things have gotten difficult or required more effort than I was willing to put into it.  Piano lessons.  Saxophone lessons.  There was even a time in my early twenties, when I paid a year's worth of rental fees for a cello up front, with the intention of learning to play it.  It made for an interesting conversation piece to impress the ladies.  Multiple guitars.  Dozens of books, magazines and video games I have never finished.  To see that I am writing my thousandth post is truly surprising to see.  'The Twitch' has become my baby - my job in a way.

That being said:  If you are a regular reader of the site, or a friend of mine on Facebook, you've probably noticed the lack of posts coming from the website in recent weeks.  In September, I posted 118 articles.  In October, 80.  November and December saw less than two dozen each.  It's the 7th of February, and this is my first post of 2012.  Well, let's just say that my head isn't in the right place.

It's really hard to explain.

As most of you know, I have been dealing with a number of medical issues over the last year or so.  Lately, things have been seriously affecting my brain.  It has become increasingly difficult to express a coherent thought.

Writing seems to be easier than talking.  Still, during a large part of the day, I have trouble reading and spelling even the simplest of words.  It's extremely frustrating, considering that in the past, I was writing as many as a dozen posts per day.

In the coming days, I'm hoping to get myself motivated enough to start writing again on a semi-regular basis.  I have quite a bit to explain concerning my medical situation.  I have a number of new issues that will likely require a couple of major surgeries this year.  It's going to be a very long post, and I'm not really in the mood at the moment to write at length about what's keeping me bedridden.  Let's just say that it's not good.

As I was writing that last paragraph, this song started playing on Pandora.  I've heard it hundreds of times. It's one of my favorite tunes.  This time, however, the words took on a different meaning to me.  I'll be honest:  I cried a bit.

So....About My Nerves

I wrote a little more than a week ago about pain in my upper extremities.  Within the last four or five days much of the pain on my right side has eased up a bit.  The pain on my left has increased substantially.  In fact, since Saturday, on a scale of 1 to 10 my left is consistently at a 10, while my right is at a 4.

The pain isn't limited to only my arms and legs, but my entire body at this point.  When in the shower, it feels like I'm being stabbed in the stomach hundreds of times, but only on my left side.

I had an EMG yesterday afternoon at my surgeon's office.  It tests the electrical current passing through your muscles.  By taking a look at the electrical activity, they can determine if there is an issue with your nerves in a particular area of your body.

The EMG took about an hour, and tested both ankles, calves and thighs.  The doctor also tested my left wrist, hand and forearm.  Just from preliminary results, the doctor was able to determine three things.

First, it appears that I have some residual nerve damage from the herniated disc that was removed six weeks ago.  The damage travels all the way down the length of my left leg.  While the doctor said that it shouldn't be causing any weakness, it is likely causing enough pain that I'm hardly able to put any weight on it.

Secondly, I have neuropathy, caused by diabetes, in both my hands and my feet.  This is causing my pain, numbness and weakness.

Third, the doctor is attributing the pain in my left arm to moderate carpal tunnel syndrome.  I'm not sure if I agree with her on the diagnosis or not.  It wouldn't explain the pain that I have had ever since surgery in my upper arm, or the pain on the left side of my torso.  Again, these results are only preliminary.  I have to return in two weeks when she has had a chance to review all of the numbers and develop a full report.  At that time, they'll recommend a treatment plan.

In the meantime, I have been in contact with my neurologist to get his opinion on the nerve issues on my left side.  My personal opinion is that something happened in surgery 6 weeks ago that has caused asymmetrical nerve damage.  I would like to get his take on the situation.

I am still finding it difficult to type with the level of pain that I'm currently in.  I am unable to hold a pen or a phone in my left hand.  I am hoping for some relief soon, as it is my dominant hand.  I miss writing, but I tend to be long winded at times (no, you don't say) and it probably isn't a wise idea to continue with the site at this time.

If you're interested, you can still keep up with me on Facebook and Twitter.  I'm at:

www.facebook.com/thetwitchonline

I have recently changed my Twitter address.  I am now @thetwitchonline.

Meanwhile, Rufus will be taking over the site temporarily.  You can direct any questions to him.

He types really slow.  And, unless you're asking about bacon or kittens he doesn't show much interest.  Rufus and I tend to disagree often as to what "relevant content" means.

Be that as it may, I'm leaving things in his capable hands paws, temporarily.

I'll be back soon.  I promise.

An Update Of Sorts

Some of you may know that I lost my health insurance on Saturday.  I was on long term disability for my Tourette's Syndrome and PTSD.  My long term ran out on October 15th.  When it did, so did my insurance.  

I received a call from MetLife this morning.  They got a fax from my surgeon last week.  Based upon the information in the fax, they have decided to keep me on a disabled status for another 29 years!  Until I turn 65.  With my spinal issues, and the corresponding nerve damage, I have been diagnosed with radiculopathy.  Both my surgeon and my long term disability provider have decided that, in my current condition, I am unable to perform any job, in any capacity, that would pay me 60% of my last job, for the rest of my working adult life.

That being the case, the health insurance for my family has been reinstated effective immediately.

Speaking of my nerves, pain has increased substantially to all extremities.  It hurts to sit, walk or even lay on my side.  Pain shoots through my fingers as I type.

I think you know what I'm getting at.

I LOVE THIS WEBSITE.  It is my baby.  I am literally prolonging my recovery by continuing to write.  For the moment, I cannot continue to do this any longer.

It is killing me that I have so much that I want to talk about, but I don't have the time or energy to type out.  At the moment, I have two Google Chrome pages up on my laptop, each with over 30 tabs open.  As days go by, tabs get added, and my computer runs slower than the day before.

I don't know how long this silence will last.  Days....maybe weeks....but I need to take care of myself.  I have to spend this time flat on my back, watching television or reading a book.

If any of you would like to keep in contact, you can reach me the following ways:

Twitter:  @TheTwitchOnline

Facebook:  www.facebook.com/thetwitchonline

Thanks for reading.  I'll write again when I can.

I love you all.

Adam

Having A Hard Time Getting Motivated Today

I have been M.I.A. for the last two days.  Jessi is off from work on Friday and Saturdays.  With recent events, we spent most of the weekend sorting things out and trying to spend as much time together as a family as we could.

Last week, I tripped over Lennon in the living room, and fell into the couch.  I don't know if I twisted or bent my back, but it certainly feels like things are worse.  I have some residual nerve damage through my arms and hands.   It feels like I have I have knives opening up the outside muscles of my forearms.  It's extremely painful.

At the moment, I'm hopped up on Soma and Dilaudid.  Soma usually gives me nightmares if I take it before bedtime.  I have never tried the medication while awake.  It does a decent job at easing the pain, and an amazing job at making me care shit less about anything.

It may take a few hours or a day or two to get back into the swing of things.

Well, That Was Short Lived

For those of you that were able to visit 'The Twitch' earlier today, you may have noticed some changes to the site.  Well, it's safe to say that those changes sucked, and it was necessary to immediately return things back to the way they were.

While the new format made things quite attractive, it was a headache.  There was no way to access the blog from a mobile device.  The changes removed all sharing options when it came to individual articles.  There was no way to share a post on Facebook or Google+.  It removed all advertising from my website (which I still haven't figured out how to get back).  It also removed any ability to subscribe to the page's RSS feed.

Those are the problems that I noticed today in a matter of 10 to 15 minutes.  I can't imagine what it looked like on a feed. I don't want to know.

So, I'm going back to what works.  I have made a couple of minor changes in regards to wording on the page.  Other than that, I'm done.  No more tinkering or fiddling around with it.

I promise.

New Website Format

I'm testing out a new website format for 'The Twitch'.  It's customize-able, and leaves it up to you as a reader to decide how you would like to view the site.  Take a quick look at things, and leave me a comment.

Let me know if you prefer the new format, or the traditional 'Twitch'.  You'll quickly notice a lot of things missing from the old site.  It may take a while to get used to.

Please leave me a message.  Thanks.

50,000 Views!!

Two years and 18 days after it's inception, "The Twitch" has reached it's 50,000th hit.

At 6:38PM Pacific time, a reader from Pennsylvania clicked on a Google link, which brought them to the page.  Of all posts for them to come to, it had to be the one on "Zombie Boy" Rick Genest.  I will never live that article down.  It was the 9,128th click on that post.  LOL.  Makes me want to do another story on him sometimes.

Thank you all for your support and continued readership, through the decent posts....and the really shitty ones. (Who are we kidding here?  We both know they exist.)

As I ween myself off of these pain meds, I sincerely hope my writing ability comes back to what it once was.  :)

Here's to another 50,000.

To My Readers:

I've noticed in the last couple of weeks, I've lost almost two thirds of the subscribers to my website.

I've gotten lazy when it comes to writing in recent weeks.  It's simply because I don't have the mindset to write anything of substance.  I'm posting a bunch of viral videos that I find on the internet, mostly from one or two websites.

I have a number of big, "gotcha" posts that I've been planning for a while, but I just don't have the energy.  What I'm getting to is...be patient with me.  I'm recovering from spinal surgery.  My incision just stopped bleeding the day before yesterday.  I know the tone of my page has changed.  It will change again.  Thanks.

It Has Been An Wonderful Two Years. Thank You.

Note:  Please forgive me.  I have a lot on my mind.  This may not be the most well written article, but it's the thought that counts, right?

Tomorrow will be the start of the third year of "The Twitch".  I started the blog as a way to vent my frustrations. It was a journal of sorts.  A hobby that didn't involve shooting zombies.

The following two years have been nothing short of amazing.  The more I wrote, the more I started to become a writer.  To look back at some of the dribble that was typed out in the early days is embarrassing.  Please don't read the archives.  LOL.  The entire theme of my website has changed over time.  Looking at my page today, you would have no idea that I started by discussing my issues with Tourette's and PTSD.

I have taken a more active role in politics.  I have also stepped up, and become somewhat of an activist on LGBT issues, especially those that effect the bisexual community.  I even came out on this page.  More than anything, this page has become an outlet for me to discuss my religious upbringing, and the consequences that followed because of it.  I don't know where my mind would be without having this outlet.

Since September 2009, some posts have been more popular than others.  Believe it or not, a story about "Zombie Boy" Rick Genest, the tattooed gentleman in Lady Gaga's 'Born This Way' video, is the most popular thus far.  Though the article was written in March of this year, it is responsible for almost 25% of all traffic to the website, since it's launch two years ago.  Six months after it's debut, it is still viewed six times for every click that the next most popular story receives each day.  Insane.

It was around that time that things really started to take off for "The Twitch".  In fact, 82% of my total site views have been since March 1st, and the page has 30 times the monthly views that it did at the beginning of the year.  This is no longer a hobby.  It is a profession.  I tell people that I am a blogger.

That's the reason why you may have noticed some changes to the page recently.  "The Daily Twitch", while a catchy title, was already taken as a URL.  Turns out, there is an advertising blog of the same name in Australia.  So, after 18+ months, it was time for a change.  "The Twitch Online" was born.  There may be a number of additional, minor changes coming soon in the way of layout.

I want to thank everyone for reading my page.  For getting a laugh every now and then.  For those that take time to comment.  Those who share my articles on Facebook and Twitter.

I would like to thank a few of the readers that have followed me early on (Those whose names I know, at least.)  Casey, Rachel and Melissa, thank you for sticking with me through some really shitty posts.  LOL.  To my subscribers, thank you for waking up with me.  Sometimes, I don't know what any of you see in this website, but it's nice to know that you see something worthwhile.

Here's to another fantastic year.

Making Changes To 'The Twitch'

What's going on, everybody.

Just wanted to let all of you know that some changes are underway on the blog.  As you have probably noticed, I've added a couple of links on the top left side of the page, to make it easier to follow me.  By clicking the links you can either have 'The Twitch' delivered to your email inbox as articles are published, or you can subscribe to my feed and view it at your convenience from your reader of choice.

I have also changed the way the website appears when you access it from your mobile phone.  I have spent some time on my phone tonight testing it out, and I can happily say that it is much more user friendly.  The posts are much easier to read, and switching from post to post is as easy as swiping your finger on the screen.  No more endless scrolling and waiting for the page to load with your cell signal.

There is also some additional advertising on the site.  I know, it can be a bit of an annoyance, but I've tried to make the changes minimal.  When you're reading my blog from a feed, an ad should appear after every four or five posts.  Give it a day or so and you'll hardly notice it.

As I have said before, the changes taking place are to move 'The Twitch' more in the direction of a professional endeavor.  This is my 684th post.  It's long overdue to start looking at this less as a hobby, and more as a way to possibly make a living down the road.

I would like to thank you all for your patience while I fiddle with some things.  If you have any comments or  questions, please feel free to email me at twitch@thetwitchonline.com.

It's Going To Be A Slow Blogging Weekend

Hey everyone.

I just wanted to take a moment to welcome my new readers/followers.  I've noticed that in the last couple of weeks, I have added quite a few followers on my RSS feed.  Hi there.  Don't be afraid to comment.  Hope you enjoy the site.

In related news, it's probably going to be a slow weekend for The Twitch.  I am in excruciating back pain, and it's only going to get worse.  Since my surgery, I have (for obvious reasons) been avoiding a number of things around the apartment.  So, I'm probably going to be doing a lot of bending in order to get some stuff done.  Not smart, but necessary.

We're also house sitting for my in-laws this weekend, trying to celebrate my wife's birthday tomorrow night and I would like to try to get 'Captain America' in there somewhere.

I have so many things that I want to write about.  In the pipeline, I have a number of posts that are going to be a little wordy.  I'm not used to writing such large pieces, and they'll probably look a bit out of place, but I have a number of things that I need to get off of my chest.

That being said, I may have some days with only 3 or 4 posts, and some with 15.  Depends on what I'm working on.  I'm also in the process of starting two additional sites (Probably not the best use of my time, but I really want to start making a professional go at blogging.  I'm on Social Security Disability until at least May of 2015, so I need to do something with my free time.  Besides, my monthly Social Security checks account for about 55% of what I used to make at my last job.  Every little bit of revenue helps.

You may see some changes in the way of layout in the next couple of weeks.  There may also be a small increase in the amount of advertising space taken up on my site.  Again, gotta pay the bills.

As you have probably noticed, the site has recently changed from thedailytwitch.blogspot.com to thetwitchonline.com.  If you haven't already changed the address in your bookmarks, please do so.  Google will be temporarily redirecting any hits onto the old "The Daily Twitch" site to the new "Twitch Online" site, but I'm not sure how long they will continue to in the future.

Also, if you are reading this via a feed, please take a moment and reset your feed to the new site.  Thanks.

I'm looking forward to keeping you all entertained and informed as to what's going on around me.  If you ever feel like dropping me a line, you can reach me at twitch@thetwitchonline.com.