There's A Reason Why They're Virgins

You may have seen a snippet of the commercial from the new TLC program called 'Virgin Diaries'.  If not, brace yourself.



"First comes love.  Then comes marriage.  Then comes Oh my god.  What are you doing to that lady's face?"  The 'Jersey Shore' officially got one upped in their bid as the most disturbing reality show on television.  How is any of this appropriate for a wedding?  Could they be any more detached from reality?  Other than this guy, perhaps?

Ladies and gentlemen, this is what happens when children are not properly taught sex education.  It's obvious they have no clue as to what they're doing.  They don't even know how to kiss.  Look at them!  When it comes to the bedroom, the vast majority of these couples are not going to be using any contraception.  They have no information on the importance of using birth control.

In three weeks, the couple will be on their way to their first child, and then we're looking at the Duggar's, version 2.0.  It's disturbing, to say the least.

Dear lord.  This reminds me of so many Witness weddings I attended as a teenager.

Video: Bristol Palin Gets Heckled While Taping Reality Show

While taping her reality show Thursday night at Hollywood's Saddle Ranch restaurant, America's favorite knocked up, home schooled snowbilly, Bristol Palin, got into a spat with a heckler.  While riding the mechanical bull - yes, the mechanical bull - a voice from the crowd yelled out, "Did you ride Levi like that?".  He then followed with, "Your mother's a whore", and, "Your mother is the fucking devil". (I starting to think this gentleman didn't vote McCain/Palin in 2008.)  Well, when Bristol was finished jiggling her big titties on national television, she straightened her "Empowered by Christ" sweater, and gave that guy a piece of her mind:

 

I just love how she automatically assumes the heckler is "homosexual".  Have you ever noticed how some people (usually Evangelical Christians or Republicans) use the word "homosexual" like it's a condition that makes you less human?  They refuse to use the terms "gay" or "lesbian".  It's disgusting.

Maybe the guy went a little too far, but it was nice to see someone put that privileged bigot in her place.

Oh, and for the record, Sarah Palin is a fucking whore...in the money grubbing, attention grabbing sense of the word.  I think that is something everyone can agree on.

Video: Tori Spelling To Appear On This Week's 'Hoarders'

On Monday's 'Hoarders', '90210' star Tori Spelling and her husband seek help for an obsession that is tearing their family apart.

Hoarders: Untold sTori from Tori Spelling

OK.  Not really, but pretty damn funny.

America's Chief Export: Syphilis

In the last decade, the UK has brought us some decent television.  With just 'American Idol' and 'The Office', remakes of British TV shows take up a large portion of many of American's weekly viewing.  And, don't get me started on 'Doctor Who'.

I guess it's time that we return the favor.  Premiering on May 24th, on MTV UK, is the British version of 'The Jersey Shore'.  It's called 'The Georgie Shore'.  Here is a preview.



I'm not kidding.  This is a real show.  On the cast bios, "Gary, 23" reads as follows:

"he has a manhood that’s the size of a TV remote control (he even has photographic evidence) and being “mint” in bed… or so he says!"

Maybe the Mayans were right about the whole "2012/End of the world" thing.  I need to take a shower. 

TLC's 'Extreme Couponing' Or, As I Call It, 'Grocery Hoarders'

I wrote a post a couple of days ago on TLC's apparent fascination with little people.  Most reality shows today can be sorted into one of four genres:

• Little people
• Pawn shop/Auction
• Extreme food/Gluttony
• Hoarding

In the last year or so, hoarding shows have become very popular.  It started with A&E, which used to stand for "Arts & Entertainment", debuting their provocative series 'Hoarders'.  'Hoarders' did a very good job at bringing a camera into the homes and lives of a group of people that are rarely seen and widely misunderstood.  It was educational, sometimes sad, and many times, simply disturbing (If you have a chance, watch the episode where the guy hoards thousands of rats.  Jesus!).

Last season, TLC (which ironically stands for "The Learning Channel") jumped on the hoarding bandwagon, and came out with 'Hoarding: Buried Alive'.  It was a much more exploitive version of the A&E original.  It had no substance.  It comes across as a "let's point and look at the freaks" type of program, with no interest in the lives in the people involved or closure in the situation.  

Three weeks ago, TLC premiered their new series 'Extreme Couponing'.  It is made with the intention of being inspirational to people, and to show viewers what can be done if you put your mind to something.  There have been shoppers featured on the show that have had over $990.00 in groceries, and have walked out of the store paying $9.00 after coupons and "club card" discounts.

The problem I have with the show is the obvious mental problems most of these people have.  Many of them truly believe that god is physically assisting them through their shopping process.  Such as this woman:

It's not necessarily the soccer moms evoking god that I have a problem with, which happens more often than you might think.  It's the greed and sheer gluttony that these people display that make me nauseous.  

The woman in the clip above, the one that god was helping collect the coupons, was helping her daughter in law start a stockpile of goods on a recent grocery trip.  Keep in mind, with god's help, she already had a reserve of over 2,000 packs of batteries, over 100 bottles of laundry detergent, and 300  2 liter bottles of Sun Drop soda, not to mention thousands of dollars of additional products.  During her shopping trip, she bought 114 bottles of Excedrin PM (every bottle the store had) and  54 more bottles of Purex laundry detergent.  How much did she give her daughter in law?  Four bottles of Excedrin and five bottles of detergent.

Another woman in a past episode purchased 70 bottles of yellow mustard, clearing out the store.  She's the only person in the family that likes mustard.  Why?  Because, with a coupon, she could get it for $.39, instead of the regular price of $1.69.

Another has collected over 1400 packages of toilet paper, under her son's bed.  Another lady has over 700 packages of diapers in her garage, yet she is single and doesn't have any children.  Why?  Because she can.

There are a couple of exceptions to the rule, however.  Jessica, a mother of four, had her grocery budget reduced to only $160 a month after the recession hit.  She used coupons to make up the difference in her budget.

Others, like Nathan, use coupons to donate food and other goods to local food banks and to troops overseas.

For the most part, though, many of these people are mentally ill.  In tonight's episode, someone goes dumpster diving, yes, dumpster diving, for coupons.  Is it really worth 30 cents off of a stick of deodorant to jump into the trash for a coupon?  I'm all for saving money.  I saved $23.00 using coupons the last time I went to the grocery store, but isn't this crossing the line?

Benicio Del Toro Knocks Up Kimberly Stewart

In "TMZ is having a field day" news of the day, it appears that Paris Hilton's former BFF is pregnant.  No, not Nicole Ritchie, the one that isn't famous.  Kimberly Stewart, daughter of Rod Stewart, is expecting.  Academy Award winner Benicio del Toro is the father.

In a statement released, surprisingly, by 'Life and Style' magazine, and not by representatives of either party said,

"Life & Style can confirm exclusively that Kimberly Stewart, the daughter of rocker Rod Stewart, is pregnant with actor Benicio del Toro's baby, a rep for Benicio confirms. "Kimberly is pregnant. Benicio is the father and is very supportive," Benicio's rep, Robin Baum, tells Life & Style exclusively. "Although they are not a couple, they are looking forward to the arrival of the baby." Benicio, 44, is best known for winning an Academy Award for his role in Traffic in 2001. Kimberly was most recently linked to actors Jude Law and Rhys Ifans, and in 2005 Kimberly was engaged to then-Laguna Beach star Talan Torriero, who was seven years younger than her."

Translation of the statement from Benicio's rep: "We ran into each other backstage at the Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Awards.  We didn't even have dinner.  I can't believe this is happening to me.  I am entering rehab in the morning."

For those of you unfamiliar with Stewart, it's not surprising.  Her Wikipedia bio lists her as an "actress, model, and fashion designer", but she is essentially a D-list version of a Kardashian or a Hilton (daddy's rich, but I want to party).  A staple on the red carpet a couple of years ago, the following clip is what she is most famous for.



In 2005, Stewart had her breast implants removed, autographed them, and gave them to ex-boyfriend Jack Osbourne.  She was also romantically liked, at one time, to Puddle of Mudd frontman Wes Scantlin, after he had broken up with her father's ex-wife/her stepmother Rachel Hunter.  That's one classy lady.

On the list of socialites/reality TV stars to be connected romantically to, the socially acceptable list is as follows:

Any Kardashian Sister
Paris Hilton
Lindsay Lohan
Nicole Ritchie
Snooki
Spencer Pratt
Gary Busey
The Situation
Flavor Flav
Girl on "Rock of Love Bus"
Kimberly Stewart

Benicio del Toro's credibility has taken such a hit, that he has moved from movie roles to the stage.  He can be seen next month in a dinner theatre presentation of 'Death of a Salesman', in Dayton, Ohio.

In other news, Sir Anthony Hopkins has been romantically linked to Puddin', from the first season of 'Flavor of Love'.