Dammit, Nina. It's GAUZE!!!

"Say "What" again.  I dare you.  I double dare you, motherfucker.  Say "What" one more goddamn time."

Tweet Of The Day

@nathansreality has made a name for himself in recent weeks for producing a number of viral tweets and videos.  The purpose behind his posts are to stop bullying.  They're highly effective.

#NeverTellAGirl she is ugly, fat/overweight.  This is what happens.

I highly recommend watching his latest video.  Trigger warning:  References to suicide.

All Dead Mormons Are Now Gay

In recent weeks, ex-Mormon activists have uncovered proof that the Church of Latter Day Saints is posthumously baptizing a number of Holocaust era Jews into their fold.  Since the nineties, leaders in the Jewish community have repeatedly asked church officials to stop the practice, known as a "baptism for the dead".  In 2010, the LDS church assured people that the practice would cease, due to updates in a new, church-wide computer system.

Well, it happened again.  And again.  And again.

A few weeks ago, it was discovered that Holocaust survivor and Jewish rights advocate Simon Wiesenthal was posthumously baptized.  As was slain Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl.  On February 29th, Mormon leaders issued orders to their congregations to cease and desist on the baptisms of victims of the Holocaust and Jewish celebrities.  In his message to Mormon bishops, LDS President Thomas S. Monson wrote:

"Without exception, church members must not submit for proxy temple ordinances any names from unauthorized groups, such as celebrities and Jewish Holocaust victims.  If members do so, they may forfeit their New FamilySearch privileges (access to the church's genealogical holdings). Other corrective action may also be taken."

Sadly, the order came down from church officials nearly a week after news leaked that Anne Frank was also given a proxy baptism.   How insulting.

As a direct response to the controversy, someone (presumably with ex-Mormon ties) created the website All Dead Mormons Are Now Gay.  At All Dead Mormons Are Now Gay, you can either type in the name of a Mormon, or have the site search LDS archives for a name.  Then, with a click of the button, you can convert them to an eternity of gayness.  It's official.  No take backs.

In the last couple of days, I have converted a number of dead Mormons, so that their final resting place would be the queer netherworld.  It's quite fun.

It's Also Steak And A Blowjob Day!

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Happy Pi Day

For geeks (and semi-educated people) around the world, today is Pi Day.  Today is March 14th, or 3/14.  Pi is the ratio of a circle's circumference to it's diameter.  It is considered an "irrational number", because it never ends.  The most common representation of the number is 3.14.  In some cases, you'll see it extended out to seven or eight digits past the decimal point, to 3.14159265.  If you want to see something interesting, check out what Pi looks like when it's worked out to one million digits.

For most of us, the only true Pi Day of our lifetime will be on 3/14/15 at 9:26AM.  For the trolls in the world, it occurred on March 14th of 1592.

I will leave you with this:

Mashup Monday - Better Than The Sum Of It's Parts

I must be honest.  The title was ripped off from the Buzzfeed article that featured this track.  I couldn't think of a better way to describe it.

Take equal portions of three really shitty tunes.  Fold in a large helping of Childish Gambino.  Add a dash of Macaulay Culkin rapping, circa 1991.  Mix together thoroughly.  The result is a damn tasty track.

I present 'Every Teardrop Has a Super Bass' by Mashup-Germany.



You can download this week's mashup here.

If you were curious, the songs mixed in this week's track are:
Sean Paul – She doesn’t mind
Coldplay – Every teardrop is a waterfall
Nicki Minaj – Super bass
Childish Gambino – Heartbeat
Macaulay Culkin – Voice sample from Michael Jacksons “Black or white”

Tweet Of The Day

Sylvia's is a soul food landmark in Harlem.  It's celebrating it's 50th year in the neighborhood.  I have seen it a number of times on the Food Network.  Sylvia, the restaurant's founder, is known in New York City as "The Queen of Soul Food".

Very cool move on the part of Ochocinco.  Harlem is going to be packed tonight.  He currently has 3,295,330 followers on Twitter. 

I've Lost My Advertisers

When I checked my email this morning, I had message in my inbox from the site's advertising service.  It read:

"Hello,

During a recent review of your account we found that you are currently displaying ads in a manner that is not compliant with our program policies.

EXAMPLE PAGE:

http://www.thetwitchonline.com/2011/12/lindsay-lohans-playboy-photos-leaked.html

Please note that this URL is an example and that the same violations may exist on other pages of this website or other sites in your network.

VIOLATION(S) FOUND:

As stated in our program policies, publishers are not permitted to place ads on pages with adult or mature content. In addition to photos and videos which contain nudity or sexual activities, below are some other examples of unacceptable content:

 * Lewd or provocative images

 *Crude or indecent language, including adult stories

   * Sexual tips or advice

   * Sexual fetish sites (e.g. foot fetish content)

   * Adult toys or products 

   * Ads or links to external sites containing adult content 

   * Adult links and/or adult keywords within the meta data in the source code of your site

ACTION TAKEN: We have disabled ad serving to your site."

But that's half of my site!!!

The smoking gun seems to be the Lindsay Lohan post I published a couple of months ago.  It's funny that they considered Lohan's Playboy pics "unacceptable content", yet didn't have an issue with my Ronald Reagan post, the talking vibrator, Tom Ford sniffing perfume samples out of a model's ass, Lady Gaga's ass, or Tori Spelling's breasts showing on Twitter.  Not to mention the countless times I've used the "C word".

Personally, I found Lindsay Lohan's Playboy shoot "unacceptable", but for different reasons entirely.

I'm really going to miss that 93 cents that came in each week.

Oh.  One last thing.  DILDO FIGHT!!!

I'm Proud To Be Amerkin'

In honor of the state of Mississippi, where a recent poll has found that 52% of the population believes that President Obama is Muslim, and only 22% believe in evolution.

Just sayin'.

Totally Looks Like...

I thought it would be fun to try my hand at creating an internet meme. I couldn't find the exact photo that I was looking for, but you get the point:

Tweet Of The Day

Tom Morello, guitarist for Rage Against The Machine, got wind last week that Rush Limbaugh was using one of Rage's songs during his radio broadcast.  It would have likely garnered a negative response to begin with.  But, with recent derogatory comments made by Limbaugh in regards to Georgetown student Sandra Fluke, it was inevitable that Morello would respond as he did:

To Rush Limbaugh: Hey Jackass, stop using our music on your racist, misogynist, right wing clown show. Sincerely, Rage Against The Machine

— Tom Morello (@tmorello) March 9, 2012

Rage Against The Machine is the fourth artist in the last week to request that their music be removed from Limbaugh's radio show.  They follow Peter Gabriel, Rush, and The Fabulous Thunderbirds.  Rage's track is the most contemporary song of the group.  It's also the most ironic soundtrack choice of the show.  It rails against everything Rush and the GOP stands for.



Rage was occupying Wall Street before it was cool.  Some things never change.  And for that, I'm proud to call myself a fan.

License Plate Of The Day

While at a Phoenix area PetSmart last week, I came upon the following license plate:

It says, "Kill Maher", as in Bill Maher, the comedian and political pundit.  While I have seen many ridiculous and hateful messages on the cars of the GOP faithful in the area, I have never seen one advocating violence in this way.  And, it's on a license plate!!  Welcome to Arizona:  Land of the free.  Home of the concealed carry law.

Bill, you may want to consider this the next time your agent wants you to do a show in Phoenix.  Just sayin'.

On a personal note, I cannot guarantee that the tires (or brake lines) remained unharmed following the photo being taken.

Photos Of The Day

Today, I couldn't settle on just on photo.  There were three, all taken at the same location, that quickly captured my attention.

The above photos were all taken Saturday, March 3, 2012, at the Virginia state Capitol building.  In Richmond, Virginia.  In the United States.

Approximately 20 State Police officers were called in to break up a group of roughly 1,000 people, mostly women.  They were protesting new legislation that requires women to receive an ultrasound before an abortion.  The bill passed both the state senate and house last week.  It is expected to be signed by governor Bob McDonnell at any time.

31 protesters were arrested after locking arms and refusing to vacate the area.  State Police came in, dressed in riot gear, and warned the crowd to leave or face arrest.  Most officers carried semi-automatic weapons and tear gas.  

THIS IS HAPPENING IN AMERICA, PEOPLE.  What the fuck has happened to our country?

You can view many more photos from the protest at Style Weekly's Facebook page.  They also have a well written article on their website.  

Mashup Monday - Adele, Lana Del Rey and Donnie Darko

This week's installment features two tracks from DJ Magic Baron.  I personally haven't heard any of his work before, but his mixes are astounding.  He has a knack for working with some really great songs that may not have received as much airplay as they probably should have.

A perfect example is the first tune.  It's a mashup of Adele's 'Set Fire to the Rain', with 'Feel' by Robbie Williams.  'Feel' has been a favorite of mine since it was released ten years ago.  Wonderful creativity shown in this mashup.

This is 'Feel Fire to the Rain':



Up next is a mashup featuring internet darling Lana Del Rey.  To be honest, I don't see what the big deal is about her.  I'm not a fan.  However, when you pair her with the iconic Gary Jules cover from 'Donnie Darko', it works really well.  This is a mashup of 'Born to Die' with 'Mad World', dubbed 'Born Into This Mad World'.  I like it....a lot.  Enjoy:



You can download the featured mashups, along with many more, at the link above.

Experiencing Some Technical Difficulties

For the last three weeks, the site has had an issue when it comes to sharing a post on Facebook.  When you try to share one of the articles, it will still let you do so.  It won't, however, carry over a photo or description of the blog post.  It will only share the link.

From what I can tell, this is happening to a number of Blogger oriented sites.  As of yet, there is no fix.  After spending countless hours troubleshooting (Thank you Mr. Russell), it has been determined that it is what it is.  Sorry.

Another "Like" button has been added for Facebook.  To access it, you need to click on the article title, in order to pull up that specific post.  The button should then be below the post.  Installing that one has seemed to work as an occasional work around.  Even that is still hit and miss when it comes to displaying content information.

Hopefully, everything will be back to normal soon.  In the meantime, thanks for your patience.