I've Lost My Advertisers

When I checked my email this morning, I had message in my inbox from the site's advertising service.  It read:

"Hello,

During a recent review of your account we found that you are currently displaying ads in a manner that is not compliant with our program policies.

EXAMPLE PAGE:

http://www.thetwitchonline.com/2011/12/lindsay-lohans-playboy-photos-leaked.html

Please note that this URL is an example and that the same violations may exist on other pages of this website or other sites in your network.

VIOLATION(S) FOUND:

As stated in our program policies, publishers are not permitted to place ads on pages with adult or mature content. In addition to photos and videos which contain nudity or sexual activities, below are some other examples of unacceptable content:

 * Lewd or provocative images

 *Crude or indecent language, including adult stories

   * Sexual tips or advice

   * Sexual fetish sites (e.g. foot fetish content)

   * Adult toys or products 

   * Ads or links to external sites containing adult content 

   * Adult links and/or adult keywords within the meta data in the source code of your site

ACTION TAKEN: We have disabled ad serving to your site."

But that's half of my site!!!

The smoking gun seems to be the Lindsay Lohan post I published a couple of months ago.  It's funny that they considered Lohan's Playboy pics "unacceptable content", yet didn't have an issue with my Ronald Reagan post, the talking vibrator, Tom Ford sniffing perfume samples out of a model's ass, Lady Gaga's ass, or Tori Spelling's breasts showing on Twitter.  Not to mention the countless times I've used the "C word".

Personally, I found Lindsay Lohan's Playboy shoot "unacceptable", but for different reasons entirely.

I'm really going to miss that 93 cents that came in each week.

Oh.  One last thing.  DILDO FIGHT!!!

Lindsay Lohan's Playboy Photos Leaked (NSFW)

The Playboy magazine featuring Lindsay Lohan was scheduled to be released mid-January.  However, a number of websites, most notably Drunken Stepfather, leaked the entire series of photographs on Saturday afternoon.  Hugh Hefner has announced that he may be putting the issue on shelves next week, in order to keep from it being a total loss for the publishing empire.

Completely unrecognizable.  I thought it was a blond Anne Hathaway.

It is reported that Lohan received $1 million for posing nude in the magazine.  In return, a "source close to Playboy" told TMZ that they would be getting the "holy trifecta"..."boobs, ass and vag".

Lies.  Lies.  ALL LIES!!

Not only did readers not get the "holy trifecta", but Lindsay is so Photoshopped, that between the ten photos in the magazine, it looks like there are three different women posing.

Save your $5.99.

View the entire series of pictures, uncensored, directly from the pages of Playboy, after the break:

Is This Lindsay Lohan Shooting Heroin?

Some really damaging pictures coming from the site x17online.com.  It apparently shows Lindsay Lohan shooting heroin into her left arm.  The undated pictures recently surfaced and possibly show an addiction problem worse than most people thought.

Tune into your favorite entertainment gossip show tomorrow, as I'm sure all of them will be running the pics and speculating beyond belief.  What I wanna know is this:  She's an international celebrity.  Why the hell was she doing this in front of a camera?  She didn't think that these pictures would eventually see the light of day?  Stay tuned next week for new pics of Lindsay smothering an old lady with a pillow.