At the time, I had just turned 30. I was working as a dispatcher and office manager for the family trucking company, and I was hating every minute of it. My previous relationships, if you wanted to call them that, were utter failures. I would go on maybe a couple of dates with a girl and realize there was zero compatibility between us. Had a number of one night stands. Nothing meaningful. I hadn't been in a boyfriend/girlfriend type of scenario since that previous February, and that ended badly. At the time, I was ready to just give up.
On the evening of September 21st, I received the following message in my Myspace inbox:
"Hey happened to stumble across your profile......great song clip!"Her name was Jessi. She was 22. I looked at her profile. She had a couple of country music song clips (ugh), but she was pretty cute:
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| (She's the one on the right) |
"Thanks....was sorta fitting at the time....still is...lol. I really liked your page....except for the country music part...but you made up for it with Nelly......Like your sense of humor.....you're a bit twisted....NICE."She continued,
"Hahaha yeah that definetely sums me up ... twisted...And i will agree not ALL country music is good but there are exceptions! if ya wanna chat sometime i'm on yahoo or msn as ixxxxxx_xxxxxs"I had recently gone to see the documentary 'March of the Penguins', and wrote a review of it on my Myspace blog. I also wrote a small blog about my memories of 9/11/2001. She sent me another message a couple of minutes later,
"WOW just got done reading your blogs.....happened to stumble across those too...the 9/11 one made me cry....don't feel bad but i seriously bawled...it took me back to what exactly i was doing when i heard...at the time i was working for MCI and it was located literally right next door to the air force base (in iowa) so i couldn't go to work not that i could have anyways....its amazing how much can change in such a short time.... also very jealous you have seen march of the penguins....i LOVE penguins and haven't had time to see it....guess i will have to catch it on pay per view or something...thats all!"Our email conversation continued the next morning. I sent her a message saying,
"that penguin movie was amazing....im a big fan of documentaries.....would like to chat with you later....you seem pretty cool....cute too...lol"From that point on, we either sent each other instant messages or talked to each other on the phone. That was on September 22nd. She invited me to come over to her place for spaghetti on Tuesday, September 27th. I knocked on her door. When it opened, I was frozen. I looked in her eyes, and said "Oh my God, you're beautiful." Then I kissed her.
I can honestly say now that the spaghetti really wasn't that good. I think she put sugar in the sauce. Regardless, I was polite and ate it. Later that evening, as I was laying on the couch in her living room, she gave me a "cow kiss" across the entire right side of my face. I almost vomited, but it attracted me to her. I always wanted someone that was a lover and a buddy. Someone that would try to give me a "wet Willy" when I was half asleep. To me, that was a sign of someone that was interested in you, in a sick and twisted sort of way. It was the best first date I ever had.
Later that week, we were on our second date, and I was realizing that I was falling in love with this woman. Normally, that would be scaring the shit out of me, but something deep down inside of me knew that this was the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I had already been engaged in the past, and she was the first person I felt safe with. I could tell her things, things that I was scared to admit to myself. I tried to scare her away. I told her all of my secrets, and she only got closer to me.
In January of 2006, I moved in with her. It was a huge adjustment to make. I had never lived with a partner before. Nine months later, the two of us were walking through the mall. A jewelry store was having a sapphire sale. Sapphires are her favorite stone. We went in, just to look at the ring settings. As she was looking at the rings, I called her mom on my cell phone. I told her mom that I was going to propose to her daughter right now, but first I need her permission. Her mom was sobbing, but I think she said "yes". I got down on one knee in the middle of the store. I told her that I have loved her from the moment I saw her. I told her that I couldn't imagine my life without her in it, and I asked her to marry me. She said "yes" too. I told her to pick any ring she wanted.
As the weeks and months went by, we discovered ourselves. We realized that all of these years we had been living our lives to make the people around us happy. Speaking for myself, there were things that I didn't know about myself at 30 that I should have figured out at 15. It was almost as if we grew up together. We found each other and found ourselves. We started planning our wedding. We decided on Las Vegas, February 29, 2008, Mandalay Bay Hotel.
We had everything picked out. It was going to be a Beatles themed wedding. The processional was going to be Regina Spektor's cover of John Lennon's 'Real Love' and we were going to walk down the aisle as husband and wife to the Beatles' 'All You Need Is Love'. We had hotel reservations and restaurant reservations. Everything was figured out. Then at about 2am on a night in early October 2007, Jessi rolled over and softly said, "I think I'm late".
"Late to what?"
"You know, late."
"Like?"
"Yeah."
A half hour later, I'm at a 24 hour Walgreens buying pregnancy tests and a two liter bottle of Coke. At 4am, we realized we were having a baby. We also realized that meant on February 29, 2008, my wife would be nearly 7 months pregnant. "If I'm going to Vegas, I'm drinking." That's a quote from her. Not me. So, on November 23rd, 2007, I married my lover, my buddy, my best friend, and the mother of what would soon be my daughter. It was a simple ceremony. We had it in the kitchen of our apartment. It was just us and three close friends. Afterward, we had sparkling grape juice and Blue Bunny chocolate chip ice cream. So, on every November 23rd of every year, we celebrate by having sparkling grape juice and Blue Bunny chocolate chip ice cream.
It has been about five and a half years since that first message. 1,973 days. And it has been the best 1,973 days of my life. We have the type of relationship that movies are written about. Besides the occasional appointment or trip to the grocery store, we have not been more than 30 feet away from each other for the last five years. Even when I was working, we worked in the same office, for the same department, within 25 feet of each other. We had the same hours and had the same lunch schedule. We were together 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and we wouldn't have had it any other way.
We have never had a fight. We have had maybe two little arguments in the last five years. We very rarely disagree. If there is one perfect person out there in the world for you, I have found that person. I am never letting her go. Only death will separate us, and even after I die, I have promised to haunt her. It is the only way she would be able to go on without me.
Happy Valentine's Day Jessi. You are my love, my strength, my rock, and in so many ways, my better half. I love you.
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