Top 10 Differences Between Mormons And Jehovah's Witnesses

This list comes courtesy of Letters From the Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses, a blog about JWs that I follow.  Sorry folks, but this post is primarily for my ex-JW readers.  If you weren't in the religion at one point, you won't get most of the jokes.  It's an "inside joke/you had to be there" sort of thing. So:

Top 10 Differences Between Mormons And Jehovah's Witnesses 

 10. Mormons abstain from coffee. Witnesses take frequent coffee breaks.

 9. Brigham Young said to be “filled with the Spirit.” Judge Rutherford said to be “filled with      spirits.”

8. Mormon Tabernacle Choir ---- Pre-recorded Kingdom songs 

7. Joseph Smith discovered gold plates. Charles Russell discovered printing plates.

6. Mormons established BYU, a world-class university. Witnesses established Theocratic Ministry School.

5. Mormons urged to form close-knit family. Witnesses urged to shun family.

4. Mormons abstain from wine all year. Witnesses abstain from wine once a year.

3. Mormons have “Divine Revelation.” Witnesses have “New Light.” (Okay so that’s not actually a difference)

2. Prominent Mormons include doctors, lawyers and governors. Prominent Witnesses include janitors, pool cleaners and multi-level marketers. 

1. Mormons don’t stand in front of deserted strip malls at 6:00 AM mutely displaying the Book of Mormon and try to convince you they’re “preaching.”

I feel like David Letterman all of a sudden.