Happy Thanksgiving

The Best Black Friday Deal Of 2013

There has been quite a bit of controversy this year, due to a large number of retailers starting their Black Friday sales on Thanksgiving night.  Walmart, JC Penney, Best Buy, Target, Michaels, Macy's, and many other chains are opening their doors on Thanksgiving, and requiring their employees to work on a day that is meant to be spent with family.

I have found a way to not only avoid doing any shopping on the holiday, but avoid the stampedes on Friday morning, as well.  Best of all, I guarantee that you'll spend less than anyone else on the block.

Give the gift that keeps on giving.  Online piracy.

The Pirate Bay has all of the best deals this winter.  For example, the Elysium Blu-Ray (which isn't released in stores until December 17th) for free. A blu-ray of The Wolverine (releasing December 3rd) for practically absolutely nothing. And Despicable Me 2 in 3D for three easy installments of jack shit.

Prefer a classic?  How about Song of the South, the 1946 Disney movie that has been locked up in the vault longer than Charlie Manson?

Have books on your Christmas list?  Try a Kindle version of Allie Brosh's Hyperbole and a Half.

Why wake yourself up at two in the morning, just to bludgen an old lady with no teeth, so that you come home with a waffle iron?  Let's face it.  How many times is Sally going to be making waffles, anyway?  Sleep in this year.  Let your modem do all of the work.  You won't regret it.

Tweet Of The Day

The Freedom From Religion Foundation is urging for a boycott of Hobby Lobby.  Personally, my family has been boycotting them since this entire contraception thing started.  We used to spend a lot of money there, between yarn and soapmaking supplies.

Headline Of The Day

Is it bad that I can't stop laughing?

One Million Moms Is Going To Ship Their Pants

In April, One Million Moms went into a full-scale tizzy over Kmart's "Ship My Pants" commercial. The ironically named OMM (they only have about 60,000 people following them on Facebook) is a offshoot of The American Family Association.  The AFA is, believe it or not, a hate group, which has been certified by the Southern Poverty Law Center.

In any event, One Million Moms' campaign was unsuccessful, as Kmart continued to air the hilarious ad.  In addition, it has nearly 20 million views on YouTube.  A couple of weeks later, Kmart released an ad touting their "Big Gas Savings".  That commercial went on to get another six million views.

Kmart's 2013 ad campaign was so successful, that they renewed their contract with ad agency DraftFCB in August.  This is their first ad under the new contract.  Just in time for Christmas, it's Jingle Balls Bells.



The ship is about to hit the fan.....

Today In WTF

You know that really cool Volvo commercial with Jean Claude Van Damme that went viral last week? (27 million views in four days viral)

This isn't it...




That isn't really Toronto mayor Rob Ford.  It's the work of a visual effects company in New York City by the name of Artjail.

Hilarious and horrifying, all at the same time.

BTW, during the same city council meeting today, Ford was filmed mimicking drunk driving and knocking a female city councilwoman to the ground. He's a walking cringe factory.

If You Ever Want Some Honest Feedback

I haven't had my laptop available for the last two weeks, so all communication with the online world has been with my cell phone.

I use an app on my phone called SwiftKey. It learns my writing patterns by evaluating my texts, my tweets, and my status updates. From there, it makes an educated guess at what I'll type, based upon my history.  Many times, I only have to type in the first letter or two of a particular word, and it can guess the next three.  Helps out a lot when I'm having a bad day with the brain fog.

If you ever want to gauge on how things have been going for you, let your phone speak on your behalf. Let the auto fill option type out its best guess for what you want to say.  You might be better off than what you think.

I'm going to let my phone type out the first full sentence on its own, based upon the most common words I've typed into the keyboard recently. Here goes:

"Please contact us at the front of the year of the most expensive artwork ever sold at the Drake concert tickets so I know it's a good time."

So, evidently my phone thinks that I like expensive artwork and Drake.  Perhaps my theory is a little off on this one....

The Million Mask March

Remember, remember
The fifth of November
The Gunpowder Treason and plot
I know of no reason
The Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot

Today, in over 400 cities across the globe, millions of people will be protesting against the governments that are tasked with working on behalf of the people.

Something tells me that I won't be seeing any coverage of this in the media.

"When They Are Saying "There Is Peace And Security""........

1 Thessalonians 5:3:

"When they are saying, “There is peace and security,” at that time sudden destruction will attack them, like labor pains start with a pregnant woman, and they definitely won’t escape."

Looks like Armageddon is about 70 years late....

Tweet Of The Day

A true friend masturbates with you?  Or, do they give you a handjob?  What would Jesus do?

Could Someone Please Explain This To Me?

The only thing that comes to my mind is....

The Fucker Works In Mysterious Ways

I read about this yesterday, and it pissed me off to a point where I had to vent.  Sorry.

While vacationing at Crater of Diamonds State Park* in Arkansas, 14-year-old Tana Clymer found a yellow diamond, weighing 3.85 carats.  The diamond could be worth up to $60,000.

The State Park, a tourist attraction, allows visitors to keep any diamonds they find while on the grounds. Approximately 400 diamonds have been found in 2013 alone.  The largest diamond ever discovered within the United States, weighing a whopping 40.23 carats, was discovered at the site in 1924.

Naturally, Tana took time to think the individual that helped her find the diamond - God.

"I thought it was a piece of paper or foil from a candy wrapper," Tana said. "Then, when I touched it, I thought it was a marble. I think God pointed me to it. I was about to sprint to join my family, and God told me to slow down and look. Then, I found the diamond!"

She named the diamond "God's Jewel".  Earlier this year, a 12-year-old North Carolina boy named a 5.16 carat diamond he found there "God's Glory".  Being the good Christians this girl and her family are, they're donating the money they receive from the sale of "God's Jewel", and donating it to their local food bank.

Fuck no.

She's keeping that rock.

"She's either going to keep the diamond for a ring, or, if it's worth a lot, she'll want that for college."

You know, they say that God works in mysterious ways.  I don't get it.  God lets a 14-year-old murder his algebra teacher with a box cutter in Massachusetts.  Then, in the same week, he helps another 14-year-old find a diamond and pocket the money.

Look, I'm not upset that the kid found the diamond.  And, if she wants to keep it, good for her.

But, if you're going to credit someone for pointing it out to you, at least pretend to do something with the money that that person would have wanted.  There are so many horrible things happening in the world, I'm sure that helping a kid in the Ozarks find a diamond was not high on his To Do list.  And, if it was, I'm sure his reason for aiding in its discovery was not so that some teenage kid could put it in a ring.

Mysterious as fuck, if you ask me....

*Who in the hell vacations in Arkansas?  Could things get any more depressing?  The only time I "vacationed" in Arkansas, was to visit my grandmother while she was undergoing open heart surgery.  That's three weeks of my life I'll never get back.

Vine Vednesday

I know...horrible pun.

I'm sort of a late adopter when it comes to Vine.  But, I'm starting to realize that it's a fantastic medium to make something original and creative.  Writing a novel is difficult.  That's why I haven't written one, yet.  It's somewhat overwhelming to try to fill 250 pages.  The same could be said for creating a two hour long movie.  Comparatively, six seconds is easy.  And, it's amazing what can be said...what can be done...in six seconds.  I'm addicted.

What Is It?

Answer after the break....

Headline Of The Day

Yeah.  'The Onion' went there....

One hell of a way to make a point.