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Monday, April 28, 2014

Today's New Releases On The Pirate Bay

On today's list is the HD copy of the RoboCop reboot.  It's a surprisingly good copy.  At least 720p, if not 1080p.  There is also the romantic comedy, That Awkward Moment, starring Zac Efron, Michael B. Jordan, and Miles Teller.  It looks funny.

There are also a couple of noteworthy documentaries to bring to your attention.  First off is Gaming in Color, a documentary focusing on the LGBT gaming community, or "gaymer" culture.

Finally, we have what is, in my opinion, the most important documentary to debut in years.  God Loves Uganda is a film discussing a group of anti-gay laws passed in Uganda, and the Americans responsible for writing the legislature. Please take the time to watch this and educate yourself on what is happening right now in Africa.


James Franco Debuts Nude Paintings Of Seth Rogan Because....Art?

And, because gay jokes are apparently still funny?

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Today's New Releases On The Pirate Bay

It's been a least three weeks...since anything noteworthy has popped up on The Pirate Bay.  A couple of gems have become available in the last few days.

First, we have the drama/horror/romantic movie, Only Lovers Left Alive.  It stars Tom Hiddleston and Tilda Swinton as vampire lovers that have been together for centuries.  Looks really good, actually.

Also in today's post is the new Joss Whedon romantic comedy/drama (damn, a lot of slashes today), In Your Eyes.  Haven't seen any previews or reviews for it yet.  But, fuck it.  It's Joss Whedon.  It's pretty much a given that it's going to be worth watching.

Finally, you have Wolf Creek 2, the sequel to the 2005 insanely thrilling cult hit.  You may want to watch this one with the lights on.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Happy Zombie Jesus Day

"Shocked and trembling, the women fled from the tomb!  They told no one, because they were afraid!" - Mark 16:8

Monday, April 14, 2014

Mashup Monday

Just heard in the last ten minutes.  And, it's amazing.  Avicii's 'Wake Me Up', mashed up with The Fray's 'Love Don't Die'.  Give it a listen:

"Keep Doing This In......Oh, Whatever"

Growing up as a Jehovah's Witness, I didn't get to celebrate a single thing.  No Christmas.  Trick or treating wasn't allowed.  No birthdays.  Hell, I wasn't even able to buy my mom a Mother's Day card.  My childhood sucked.  I tried to explain to everyone that, "You don't need to have a holiday to get toys or presents.  We get presents all the time."  That was bullshit, and everyone else that grew up JW would agree with me.

The one "holiday" that we did celebrate as Witnesses was "The Memorial of Christ's Death" or, as we called it, "The Memorial".  Imagine the strange looks you get telling that to your classmates when you're in the first grade.  The Memorial is sort of a reenactment of the Last Supper.  It coincides, supposedly, with the date on the Jewish calendar of Nisan 14. That's the day way back in the year 33 A.D., that Jesus and all of his drinking buddies hung out one last time.

Dramatic reenactment
The bible quotes him as saying, "Keep doing this in remembrance of me".  So, once a year, and only once a year, all of the Witnesses in the world come out from under their rocks and meet.  It was the one event during my childhood where I was guaranteed to get new dress clothes and have dinner out.  There are only 7.7 million JWs in the world.  In 2013, they had 19.2 million people show up for this thing.  They sing a couple of songs, read some passages from the Gospels detailing what happened that night, then they pass the bread and the wine that symbolize Christ's body and blood.  Unlike Catholics, they don't eat it.  They just pass the plate around.  You only partake if you believe that you're one of the 144,000 "chosen ones", or super special unicorn Jehovah's Witnesses that are going to heaven.

He totally drank the wine...

I tried to explain all of this to my wife once.  The Nisan 14 thing, how it's related to the Israelites in Egypt, the 10 plagues, the bread and the wine, how it has to happen after sundown, 144,000, etc.  She just looked at me like this:


I'll be honest...I never understood the "logic" either.  Never wanted to.  At least the Witnesses believed that the bread and the wine were symbolic.  Based upon the Catholic way of thinking, you were taking part in cannibalism during each communion.  

Do you think Jesus would have ever guessed that, 2,000 years later, millions of people would be reenacting his last night in the champagne room?  I don't think so.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Freudian Slip Of The Day

Last night, Fox News host Heather Childers made the following announcement:
“The UConn Huskies are the 2014 NAACP national champs."
Seriously. Look at this...

I don't think that it wouldn't have been so bad, had it not been predicted on SNL last week.  Wait until the :20 mark...

Headline Of The Day

George Bush's paintings: this is the art of Forrest Gump

The Guardian has an exceptionally harsh review of Dubya's art installation, which debuted at his presidential library over the weekend.  Some selected excerpts:
"It's like being nice about the family idiot's latest art project. Aw, isn't that sweet, poor George has done paintings of world leaders."
"His portrait of Putin actually looks like something you would find in one of America's trash-rich Salvation Army stores and buy to laugh at. "
and the best line in the article....
"These empty headed daubs look the work of someone you wouldn't trust to mow a lawn without cutting someone's foot off."

My wife and I were talking about his art a couple of days ago.  It has this strange paint by number look to it.  It's almost as if Dick Cheney sketched the portraits down, and little Georgie did his best to color inside the lines...

Sunday, April 6, 2014

John 3:16

"For God loved the world so much, that he gave everyone free samples of kettle corn.  So that anyone who believed that it was tasty kettle corn, could receive a large bag at a discounted price." - John 3:16, according to the popcorn guy out in front of my neighborhood Walmart.

I thought John 3:16 was a football play....

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Life Lessons From 'How I Met Your Mother'

(Don't worry.  No spoilers.)

Last night, 'How I Met Your Mother' came to an end after nine seasons.  The final episode seems to have given many fans mixed feelings about the story's end.  Personally, I thought they did a very good job at wrapping things up.  The writers answered a number of our unresolved questions.  Though the show never really jumped the shark, it did have a couple of mediocre periods during it's nine year run.  It was great to see the show end with such a phenomenal episode....even though they never did get to explaining the "pineapple incident".

Over the course of 208 episodes of any show, it ought to be easy to come away with at least a couple of morals from the story.  After watching every single episode of HIMYM since early 2005, I can think of at least a dozen lessons I could jot down from the series.  I'll do my best to limit it to five or six.

1.) Take Chances/Accept Challenges

"It works two out of three times, every time."
Let's face it.  'How I Met Your Mother' would not have been worth watching had the characters not taken any chances.  Whether it be "The Naked Man" or a blue french horn, opportunities will present themselves to take your life into a direction that you haven't previously planned for.  Don't be afraid to step outside your comfort zone, and zig where you would normally zag.  Just don't do anything that could potentially get you arrested and/or have your name put on the sex offender registry, okay? 

2.) Know Your Murtaugh List (Accept Your Limitations)
The "Murtaugh List" was featured in season four.  It was named after the character Danny Glover played in Lethal Weapon, and the resulting catchphrase from the movie:
Ted created a "Murtaugh List", a list of activities he thought he was too old to do anymore.  Over the course of the episode, Barney attempts to complete every activity on Ted's list, with horrifying (and comical) results.
I have many things on my Murtaugh List.  I'll be 39 in two months, and there are many things that I did in my twenties that I wouldn't be able to physically attempt today.  Like, staying up for 72 hours straight at Coachella.  Or, buying general admission tickets for a punk show.  Or, let's say, anything involving a rave. (Do they even have raves anymore?)
There's no shame in knowing your limitations.  Doing so prevents massive hangovers and emergency room bills.   
3.)  Never Settle
Over the course of nine seasons, Ted had been with 40+ women, with varying degrees of commitment.  A couple were simply casual sexual encounters, and some were serious long term relationships.  There were at least four or five women that could have very easily become his wife.  But, they didn't.  They weren't "the one".
There are times in life, especially when it comes to relationships, when you start to think to yourself that you're never going to find that perfect outcome.  Sure, you may find yourself in a situation where you find some of the things you're looking for.  You think that "good enough" is better than nothing.  But, "good enough" isn't a dream come true, and it will always disappoint you in the end.

4.) Marry Your Best Friend
Lily and Marshall are the best example (on television) of a successful marriage.  They were together for more than 20 years, and in the end, were still buddies.  That was the key to their success.  They were the best of friends.  Most relationships tend to get rocky when two people spend too much time with each other.  Marshall and Lily's marriage suffered when they weren't around each other 24/7.
Over the course of the series, their open communication and trust in each other (with a couple of exceptions) set the bar for how married couples are depicted on television.  When you think about it, they were the one great story that came out of the series.  In the end, they had everything they could have ever possibly wanted.  Sure, there were times when their relationship took a step or two back.  But, they were always making progress.  No one was rooting for them to stay together.  No one had to.  No matter how much crap the world threw at them, we all knew they would come out on top, because they had an advantage that no other couple on the show had.  They were partners, lovers, and most of all, the best of friends.

5.)  Life Sucks Sometimes
I'm going to do my best not to allude to any spoilers here.
Sometimes, life has a habit of screwing up your plans.  And, it seems that bad things only happen to good people.  Your reaction to those bad things will determine whether your story ends in tragedy or in a "happily ever after".  
You're lucky if you ever find the love of your life.  Some people are lucky enough to find them twice in a lifetime.  It's all a matter of perspective.
6.) It's Totally Okay For A 38-Year-Old, 6'4", 320 lb Man To Cry Watching Television
That's all I'm going to say on that topic.....

Today's New Releases On The Pirate Bay

A couple of worthwhile torrents popped up on the site last night.  First off are the Blu-ray copies of Jason Bateman's Bad Words.  It looks pretty fucked a good way.

...and Dom Hemingway, which looks equally, if not more so, fucked a good way.

This morning, Hi-Def "web rips" of Ride Along and Robocop became available.  Looks like they have either hardcoded Chinese or Korean subtitles.  I would suggest waiting a couple of weeks, and the true American DVD copies will be available.

Happy pirating....