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Friday, September 30, 2011

Photo Of The Day

Is Ham Tasty?  HELLZ YEAH.
In other news, No Child Left Behind is a complete success.  Is that a picture of Lady Gaga on his presentation about HAM!?  How is that..!?  I just..  Wow.  

Well, at least it's nice to see the kid from 'Bad Santa' is doing well.

Video: Gamewave Commercial (Parody)

This is a parody of the Gamefly commercials that you frequently see on television.  It's NSFW, if only for excessive use of the word "vagina",  I can't explain.  You'll just have to see for yourself.  Pretty spot on.

Happy Blasphemy Day International

Blasphemy Day International was created in 2009 to coincide with the anniversary of the publication of satirical cartoons of the prophet Muhammad by a Denmark newspaper in 2005, and the furor those cartoons later sparked within the international Islamic community.  Seriously.  137 people were killed in protests around the world.  The original cartoonists had bounties placed upon their heads.

Even within the United States, six states (Massachusetts, Wyoming, Michigan, South Carolina, Oklahoma and Pennsylvania) still have anti-blasphemy laws on the books.  While blasphemy is punishable by death in most Middle Eastern countries, many Western nations still have anti-blasphemy laws.  21 other European nations have "religious insult" laws in place.

Let me just say, I am 100% for blasphemy.  If someone can tell my kid that the Easter Bunny doesn't exist, then I should be able to say that neither does your imaginary friend that controls the weather.  You know, there's a term for someone that has conversations with somebody that doesn't exist.  I believe it's called schizophrenic.

And in 2011, when people blame everything on god, from their stance on gay marriage, to their decision on running for President, they're not Christian.  They're mental.  They should not be applauded.  They should be put in a straight jacket and locked away.

OK.  Stepping down from my soapbox, now.  Sorry.  Here is a photo to celebrate the day.

Best.  Photo.  EVER.

I also wanted to include a video of one of my favorite songs.  As I left the church, this song became more meaningful to me growing up.  It's blasphemous as all hell (no pun intended), but as someone who later in life started to identify themselves as an atheist, it really spoke volumes as to the way I felt about god.

Twenty-some-odd years after hearing it for the first time, and I still get goosebumps.  

So, that's my take on blasphemy.  Really?  Did you expect anything less?  Was is Thomas Jefferson that said, "Dissent is the highest form of patriotism"?  If that's the case, then consider me a religious patriot.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to consult my daughter's sock monkey on some important, life changing decisions that need to be made in upcoming days.

Quick Spine Update

I had an appointment with my surgeon this morning.  Fortunately, the incision on my back stopped bleeding the day before yesterday, so that was no longer an issue.  There is no need to worry about an infection, from any of my incisions.

I have a small hematoma on my back, where the incision had started to heal, but was continuing to bleed a little internally.  It's nothing to worry about.  It should dry up on it's own in a matter of a couple of weeks.

X-rays were taken of my spine this morning.  It was the first time I had seen an image of my spine since the surgery.  I have a huge gap where my disc used to be.  The plastic graph didn't show on the x-ray, but you could tell that the procedure really opened up that space, compared to what it used to look like.  It was also interesting to see the screws sticking into my vertebrae.  They were easily three to four inches long.  They looked more along the lines of thick masonry screws than something that should be used in a surgical procedure.   I am truly "Bionic", now.

My doctor told me that I no longer have to wear my back brace, unless I want to wear it as a matter of comfort.  Wearing it is an easy way to remind myself of how I'm supposed to move, and how I'm not supposed to move.  I still cannot bend, twist, or lean to the left or right for another three months.  I am also not allowed to lift anything more than 5 pounds.  I am allowed, however, to sit upright for as long as comfortable for me.  Previously, I could only do 10 minutes at a time.  Playstation, here I come.

While today's news is wonderful in the way that I now have more freedoms, I realize that I still have a long way to go.  The four hours spent out of my bed getting ready, in the car, at my doctor's office, and then, having lunch with my wife (OMG, you have no idea how nice that was), has rendered me bedridden for the rest of the day.  I have to remember, "Baby steps, Adam".

"Baby steps."

Thursday, September 29, 2011


Two years and 18 days after it's inception, "The Twitch" has reached it's 50,000th hit.

At 6:38PM Pacific time, a reader from Pennsylvania clicked on a Google link, which brought them to the page.  Of all posts for them to come to, it had to be the one on "Zombie Boy" Rick Genest.  I will never live that article down.  It was the 9,128th click on that post.  LOL.  Makes me want to do another story on him sometimes.

Thank you all for your support and continued readership, through the decent posts....and the really shitty ones. (Who are we kidding here?  We both know they exist.)

As I ween myself off of these pain meds, I sincerely hope my writing ability comes back to what it once was.  :)

Here's to another 50,000.

Official Video: Adele's 'Someone Like You'

This was released within the last hour.  Thought I would share.

Herman Cain Leading GOP Polls, Sarah Palin Has No Idea Who He Is

Surprising news for the Cain campaign this week.  First, Herman Cain walked away with a win at the Florida straw poll on Sunday.  Taking nearly 40% of the vote, he won by a double digit margin over Rick Perry and Mitt Romney - the front runners of the Republican presidential race.  In modern political history, the winner of the Florida straw poll went on to become the Republican candidate chosen the following year at their national convention.

Then, on Monday, Zogby released a national poll amongst primary voters.  Again, Herman Cain was on top.

Another double digit lead ahead of Perry and Romney.  Some say that people are intrigued by Cain's 9-9-9 tax plan.  Coincidentally, the "9-9-9" is also the name of a specialty pizza available at Godfather's (joking).  Others say that the bickering between Perry and Romney have cost them their leads.

Does anyone take Herman Cain's chances seriously?  Take a look at this.  While complimenting him a couple of nights ago on Fox News, Sarah Palin called him the wrong name not once.  Not twice.  But five times.

Excuse me, Sarah.  It's HER-MAN CAIN.  Say it with me.  Her.  Man.  Caaaaaaaaaaain.

I realize this may just be an underhanded way of Palin trying to divert attention away from potential competition.  Later in the same interview, she was speaking as to whether she has made up her mind about running for President or not.  She actually had the balls to say that she believes she has more power now than what she would as President of the United States.

I also realize that Sarah Palin is an absolute moron.  This is the same woman that tried to re-write the story of Paul Revere.  If she doesn't have a teleprompter in front of her, there's no telling what she'll say.

Maybe she's so self absorbed, she honestly believes the GOP front runner is named Herb Cain.  Maybe she doesn't watch the news.  It makes sense to me.  George W. Bush was famous for saying that he didn't read the newspaper.  It would only be logical, 10 years later, to have a presidential candidate that didn't read the news at all.

Video: Wall Street Workers Openly Mock Protesters, Drink Champagne

On Friday afternoon, as the Occupy Wall Street protests were entering their sixth day, a number of the "haves" decided to step out on the balcony and see what all the fuss was about.  As they sipped champagne, they smiled at the crowds below, waving and taking video with their cell phones.  Disgusting.

Photo Of The Day

Also, where does that lady think money for defense spending comes from?  

Hallmark Introduces Line Of Job Loss Greeting Cards

In the "I couldn't make this up if I tried" story of the day, Hallmark has announced that they're launching a line of cards geared towed the recently unemployed.  With the unemployment rate well above 8 percent for the last two and a half years, many people think that this is a long neglected segment of the population by the greeting card industry.  

According to Hallmark's Creative Director Derek McCracken, the idea is to provide a little comfort and empathy in an otherwise demoralizing and stressful situation.
"People in times of need will always need to connect," McCracken told NPR, "and when the consumers have asked us for a way to connect in those difficult situations, we try to respond in an authentic way and we think that's what the greeting card does."
Take a look at a couple of the cards: (These are the actual cards.  I am not joking.)

On the inside:  "Think of it as a time out between stupid bosses."

On the inside:  "Is there anywhere I can hack up a hairball, like say, on a former employer's head?"

Call me a pessimist, but isn't this simply a way for Hallmark to capitalize on the current economic situation?  After all, their sales have to be down compared to what they were two or three years ago.  Times are tough.  People are out of work.  Customers don't have the money to buy greeting cards as often as they did in 2008 and 2009.  Wouldn't it make sense that Hallmark would try to find a market that they could tap into?  One where their target audience would have the money and resources available to buy their products?  Makes sense to me.

Also, just speaking for myself, but if someone bought me a "sorry you don't have a job anymore" greeting card, I would be insulted beyond belief.  What am I supposed to do with a Hallmark card?  Put it on my refrigerator to remind myself how I don't have a job?  Thanks for your support, but a phone call or email would have sufficed.

Also, if you're going to spend $5.00 on a greeting card to tell me that you're sorry that I don't have a job anymore...please just give me the money instead.  I could put that $5.00 to much better use feeding my daughter.

In the United States, we seem to equate acknowledgement with aid.  A pat on the back with the words "I'm sorry.  That sucks" is the equivalent of a helping hand.  For some, it may be.  To many others, it could possibly be the beginning of a step back.

I'm afraid to see what may be next from the greeting card industry.  "Sorry to hear you can't pay your rent?"  "So, I heard you've been evicted?"  "So, your kids didn't eat dinner last night?"  

Where does it stop?

Just In Time For Christmas

Courtesy Jesus Needs New PR.  I'm not sure if this is a real product.  It may be a satire ad.  Let's all hope.  For the record, I could not find the original ad in a Google search.  Blog posts have been criticizing this product as far back as 2008, though.

Could you imagine play time with this action figure?  Your child, with the help of "Enduring Freedom Jesus", ridding the world of all of those pesky Muslims that don't believe in Christianity.  Talk about "hours of fun". (sarcasm)

What is this world coming to?

Is Angry Birds Bigger Than Mario?

Some interesting statistics coming from Rovio, the makers of Angry Birds.  Everyone knows that the cross platform game, which requires you to fling birds across the screen and crush smirking green piggies, is immensely popular.  How popular?  Try 350 million copies.

To put that in perspective, if you take every Mario titled game ever sold by Nintendo, you would have 262 million games.  Granted, Mario titles generally retail between $29.99 and $59.99 each, while Angry Birds can be downloaded for anywhere from $.99 to $4.99, depending on what device you have.  So, while Mario has been a more profitable enterprise, you still have to ask...

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

To My Readers:

I've noticed in the last couple of weeks, I've lost almost two thirds of the subscribers to my website.

I've gotten lazy when it comes to writing in recent weeks.  It's simply because I don't have the mindset to write anything of substance.  I'm posting a bunch of viral videos that I find on the internet, mostly from one or two websites.

I have a number of big, "gotcha" posts that I've been planning for a while, but I just don't have the energy.  What I'm getting to patient with me.  I'm recovering from spinal surgery.  My incision just stopped bleeding the day before yesterday.  I know the tone of my page has changed.  It will change again.  Thanks.

Video: Protester Calls Obama "Anti-Christ" During Fundraiser, Gets Dragged Away

At a fundraiser dinner for President Obama on Sunday night, his speech was interrupted by a man that started yelling about Jesus being "the only one true god".  He also called Obama the "Anti-Christ", before being dragged away by Secret Service personnel.

The event, which was held at the House of Blues in Los Angeles, had approximately 250 diners, each of whom had paid $1000 a plate to attend.  The protester, later identified as David Serrano, has a long history of creating disturbances with his religious, sometimes anti-Semitic, diatribes.  According to Tony Bell, a spokesman for the L.A. County Supervisor, Serrano has been a regular fixture at county meetings for a couple of years:

"He yells out his statements, which are very mistaken, odd interpretations of scriptures," Bell said. "He's been pretty close to being thrown out of our meetings. When he calls Supervisor Antonovich 'Mikey,' it's very vitriolic. He's not a pleasant guy. He talks about Jews in his diatribes and seems very anti-Semitic. I don't have the impression he's dangerous, but he has issues that could use some help.  
"He must have used some real initiative to get into that event. Our meetings are public forums." 
My question is, how did he get that close to the President?  He was reportedly in the first row.  Secret Service is supposed to have every guest vetted in advance.  You would think that Serrano's history with the city council would have come up, wouldn't it?  Even if he didn't have a criminal record, the event was being held in Los Angeles.  They didn't have anyone local review the list to check for any potential troublemakers? I don't understand how he got through.

Here is the video.  Obama's reaction is wonderful.  He smiles and tells Secret Service, "Don't forget his coat".

Video: Rick Perry: "Save A Pretzel For The Gas Jets"

Texas governor, and Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry has garnered a reputation recently for fumbling during the debates.  He is developing a tendency of losing focus as the night goes on, and inevitably, putting his foot in his mouth.  Some say he's not ready for the office of Commander in Chief.  I think he's "Dubya ver. 2.0".

The clever folks at Bad Lip Reading have compiled a number of clips of Perry speaking on various topics.  They have taken out the original audio, and have replaced it with what it looks like he would be saying if you were reading his lips.  Sadly, I think some of these quotes could eventually be actual sound bites, if not for Perry's handlers.

Personally, my favorite Bad Lip Reading video is a song with Bruno Mars, Lady Gaga and Jay-Z.  It's about pizza and broccoli.  Quite funny to hear Jay-Z rapping about ten pounds of peanut brittle.

Would You Like A Side Of Diabetes With That?

When you hear the words "Popeye's Chicken", I'm sure the first things that come to mind are healthy, nutritional meals, right?  Of course, I'm being sarcastic.  It's impossible to consider anything fried as "healthy", but hey, at least they weren't the ones to come up with the Double Down.

Fuck bread.  Bread is for losers.  "Loser" is a clinical term for someone with  less than 42% body fat.
Chicken McNuggets have been around for 28 years.  They have, for the most part, kept the same shape since day one.  Popeye's has introduced a new line of chicken nuggets called "Dip'n Chick'n", that promises to be "McNuggets 2.0".  What makes them so different?  They're shaped like scoops.

From Popeye's website:
"Why has nobody come up with a way to serve chicken so you can really scoop up the dipping sauce?  Never mind.  We figured that one out ourselves.  Say bonjour to our one-of-a-kind Popeye's Dip'n Chick'n.  We cut premium breast fillets into the perfect chicken dippers and fry them up fresh."
I have a couple of issues with the product.  First, regardless of how chicken breast is cut, it does not naturally curl up when fried like a shrimp.  Nor does it resemble a Fritos Scoop.  Secondly, when a restaurant intentionally abbreviates the name of the animal used in the product name, it usually means that they aren't just trying to be clever.  They're not actually cooking said animal.  For example, krab salad, with imitation crab meat.

Though it may have been a clever marketing decision to make scoop shaped chicken nuggets, this decision wasn't really in the best interest of their customers.  If you think about it, the possibilities with this product are endless.  It doesn't end with dipping sauces.  Gravy, Cheez Whiz, Hormel chili...I could go on for days for recipies to lead to your next triple bypass.

Only in America.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Dating Tip Of The Day

Let's say that you have just started dating someone, and you would like to make an impression on them that they'll never forget.  What can you do to make a date memorable?

There are many restaurants that still make a big production when it comes to celebrating your birthday.  Take advantage of that.  Even if it isn't your date's birthday.

When you give the hostess your name and party size, tell her that it is your date's birthday, and that you'd really like them to do something to make it memorable.  Or, during dinner, excuse yourself to go to the restroom, find your waitress, and do the same.  Tip:  ALWAYS TELL THE RESTAURANT YOUR DATE IS YOUNGER THAN SHE ACTUALLY IS....SHE'LL APPRECIATE IT.

Later in the meal, depending on where you are dining, your server will bring a nice piece of cake for the two of you to share.  Some places, like Red Robin or Applebee's, will have their entire staff come to the table, clapping and singing as loudly as they can.

It's always best to know ahead of time how your date handles embarrassment.  If they're the type to blush and play along, that's great.  If they're the type to insist that it isn't their birthday, and demand to speak with a manager, maybe it's best to try this with someone else.

Six years ago, I tried this on the second date I had with a girl.  We went to Red Robin.  I told the waitress that my date's name was "Nadia", and that it was her birthday.  After our dinner, about 9 servers came to our table.  Our waitress shouted, "Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention please?  Today is Nadia's birthday.  Let's have everyone here wish her a happy birthday."  Then they sang her a ridiculous birthday song, and gave her a sundae.  As people left the restaurant, they stopped by our table to wish Nadia a happy birthday.  She was purple from embarrassment by the time the check came.

So, did the date leave an impression?

I asked her this morning as she was putting shoes on our daughter's feet.  She said it did.  Our first date was six years ago today.  Something went right.  I'd like to think that the birthday game had something to do with it.

Video: American Juggalo (Documentary)

Sean Dunne filmed a short documentary last month called 'American Juggalo'.  For those of you not in the know, a "Juggalo" is a self-described term for a fan of the Insane Clown Posse.  Every August, thousands of Juggalos come together in rural Illinois for The Gathering of the Juggalos.  It's a week of concerts, alcohol, drugs, carnival rides and "family".

The documentary is very well made.  It's surprisingly fascinating.  Once I started it, I couldn't turn it off.  It was like watching a National Geographic special on a lost tribe.  The video did solidify all of my assumptions about the Juggalo demographic, however.  Nothing but unemployed, uneducated, poor, drug addicted  white trash.  This film could easily be fodder for the Republican party to end all entitlement programs.  You even have expectant mothers smoking on film.  Lovely bunch of people.

I highly recommend watching it.  The documentary is EXTREMELY NSFW (EXCESSIVE LANGUAGE, NUDITY, DRUG USE, ETC.)

Video: 'Not One Candidate'

The Democratic National Party has released a scathing new ad, calling out the Republican presidential candidates.  Why?  Specifically, they haven't admonished their own constituents for booing gay soldiers and calling for the uninsured to die.

Saudi Women Given Right To Vote

On Sunday, Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah granted women in the country the right to vote.  He also gave women the right to run for public office.  In a statement on state television, he said:
“We refuse to marginalize the role of women in Saudi society in every field of work.  Women have the right to submit their candidacy for municipal council membership and have the right to take part in submitting candidates in accordance with Shariah.”

As it stands in 2011, due to the way Saudi's interpret Sunni Islam, women are highly restricted in their day to day life.  Saudi women are not allowed to drive.  Men and women are segregated in all aspects of activity.  Law mandates that women go to their own schools, restaurants, and even shopping malls.

Women are forbidden from holding positions in many fields in the job market.  This is, unless they are servicing the needs of another woman, of course.  

So, it remains to be seen how this is going to play itself out.  This was a nice gesture on the part of King Abdullah, but, unless monumental changes to women's rights take place in Saudi Arabia in the next few months, his actions will be nothing more but that - a gesture.

How will a Saudi woman win a public office, when she's legally not allowed to work the sales counter at a men's clothing store, or even cut a gentleman's hair in a salon?  How will women in Saudi Arabia have a say at the polls when they have to rely on their husbands to drive them to cast their ballot?

Photos: Someone Should Really Do A Background Check On The Guy Making The Signs

From Cajun Mike's, in New Orleans, Louisiana:

Travel Tip:  If you are ever lucky enough to vacation in beautiful New Orleans, NEVER get drunk and pass out at Cajun Mike's.  You may wake up the next morning missing your pants, and with a sore mouth. Just sayin'...

Video: Parenting FAIL!

I've heard it said, many times, that all evil in this world comes from either Florida or Germany.  While I find that hard to believe, this mother isn't helping the stereotype.

Yes, she's having her little boy, who can't be more than four or five "beer bong" a CapriSun.  There are so many things wrong with this video, I don't know where to start.

I'm starting to think that if you're a resident of Florida, the number for Child Protective Services should automatically be pre-programmed into your cell phone when you get it from your carrier.  It would be a nice time saver for the responsible people of the state.

The Reason Why You Shouldn't Watch 'Dancing With The Stars' (Hint: It's Not Chaz Bono)

In recent weeks, the media, as well as numerous Christian groups, have focused on Chaz Bono, and his participation on this season's 'Dancing With The Stars'.  As Chaz is the first transgendered celebrity to participate in a nationally televised reality competition, it's easy to see why he would receive so much attention.  Christian organizations under the guise of "family groups" have called for the show's boycott.   A regular correspondent for Fox News has even warned parents not to let their children watch the show, fearing that Bono's "she/he" ways will influence their impressionable minds.

While this debate has been fervently taking place amongst the nations pundits, something far more insidious has casually been infecting the hearts and minds of DWTS viewers over the last two weeks:  Nancy Grace.

She trying to be sexy, people!!!!  Come on.  I mean, I just threw up in my mouth a little.  Last season?  Kirstie  Alley?  I totally believed it.  She sold it.  And, let me tell you something.  I was buying!  Hook, line and sinker.  But this?!

I just want a shower, and not the good kind.  Was thinking of something more along the lines of guys in hazmat suits with brushes, attached to long sticks.  

Supposedly, during tonight's live performance, Ms. Grace had a "wardrobe malfunction" of sorts.  The video below is of the end of her performance.  While it allegedly shows a "nipple slip", I don't see anything.  Then again, I'm not going to look for it, either.  The reason why I am posting the clip is the audience reaction.  There is obviously an editing error.  

The clip, of what is supposed to be a live television broadcast, has the audio of the studio audience applauding, but shows the audience quietly sitting in their seats.  They're practically motionless.  Very bizarre. It's quite a funny end to a performance on a television show.

Video: GOP Implementing "The Vagina Rules" At Upcoming Debates (Satire)

Sounds accurate to me...

Quote Of The Day

"I mean has anybody been watching the debates lately?  You've got a governor whose state is on fire denying climate change.  It's true. You've got audiences cheering at the prospect of somebody dying because they don't have healthcare.   And booing a service member in Iraq because they're gay.  That's not reflective of who we are."
- Barack Obama, referring to Texas Governor Rick Perry, at a San Jose fundraiser Sunday night.

Video: MUST WATCH Mind Blowing Dubstep Dancer

For the record, I cannot stand dubstep music.  I don't know why.  Maybe, I'm just getting older, but it grates on my nerves.  That being said, this is the most impressive video I have seen in months.

It comes from a 29 year old dancer from Lawrenceville, Georgia, named Marquese Scott.  Now, I have seen this video more than a half dozen times.  First, this guy's moves are simply astounding.  We're talking "21st Century Michael Jackson" level dance moves.  Secondly, I had to make sure the video wasn't tweaked or edited.

Pay attention to the traffic in the window's reflection behind Marquese.  Even while he's moving in slow motion or in reverse, it continues to move at normal speed in the background.  The video is real.  Take a look:

It's easy to see how this video has received 1.2 million hits in 3 days.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Photo Of The Day II

Wait.  What?!

Photo Of The Day

Top ten signs that you may be drunk:  Forget the other nine.  When you photograph yourself playing "London Bridge" with Piss Pants McGee, guess what princess?

Yeah, that's going to require a "Lather, rinse and repeat" to get that smell out.

Text Message Of The Day

Whale watching?  There's an app for that...

Don't lie.  You know you're texting this to someone right this very second.

Video: Chopper Builder Makes Electric Powered 'Tron' "Lightcycle"

Parker Brothers Choppers out of Melbourne, Florida, have built the ultimate geek bike.  It's an electric, street legal replica of the lightcycles from 'Tron: Legacy'.  It has a 96 volt electric motor, and has a top speed of over 100 mph.  And, on a single 35 minute recharge, it can travel for over 100 miles.

They're starting to take orders, but considering that their gasoline powered model is priced at $55,000, this one's going to cost you.

If you are in the mood to start feeling nostalgic for your childhood, they also make a bike that is the spitting image of the old "Green Machine" Big Wheels that were around when we were kids.  I used to have one of them.  Talk about bringing back memories.  Now, that would be a badass motorcycle.

Mashup Monday - 'Get It On My Mind'

Let me start off by saying that you will be amazed by this week's "Mashup Monday" post.  It comes to you from DJ Zebra Mash.  It's a mix of Marvin Gaye's 'Let's Get It On', with the Pixie's 'Where Is My Mind'.  Let me just say, and I am not kidding, that it is utterly phenomenal.

I must find a copy of this for my IPod.

Video: Extended Trailer For 'The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo' (NSFW)

Over the weekend, MGM released an extended trailer for the American release of 'The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo'.  By extended, I mean, coming in at nearly four minutes.

It's blatantly obvious after watching the trailer that David Fincher was the perfect director for the film.  After 'Se7en', and 'Fight Club', 'Tattoo' is right up his alley.  Heck, if he can make Facebook suspenseful, think of what he can do with this.

And I see another Oscar for Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for the score.  Just listen.

'The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo' is in theaters on December 21st, according to IMDB.  But, according to this poster, it's the 26th.

Video: Alabama Judge Gives Criminals Option Of Church Or Jail Time

Last week, a judge in Bay Minette, Alabama, has started to offer non-violent offenders the option of going to church for 52 consecutive Sundays, in lieu of time in jail.  Nearly 60 churches in the area, from a variety of denominations, are participating in the program.

Thank you, but I'll pass.  Besides, I've been told that the orange jail uniforms really bring out my eyes.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Facebook Post Of The Day

- Kat Von D, announcing that she has broken up, once again with former Mr. Sandra Bullock, and Nazi enthusiast Jesse James.  I personally love how she has apologized to the public for the "confusion" their relationship has caused.

The Dow Jones Industrial Average is expected to open sharply lower tomorrow, upon the news of their breakup.  

Not to worry.  They're expected to reconcile and be back together by Tuesday, then split again by the weekend. 

Sunday Confessional: The Day I Ran Away From Home...And Religion

Throughout most of 1996, I was miserable.  I turned 21 in June.  I was living at home.  At the time, my father owned a route for a potato chip company.  His job was to stock the shelves in a dozen or so grocery stores in the Phoenix area on a daily basis.  I worked for him.

 I was confused, and, to put it lightly, depressed.  So depressed in fact, that I had been contemplating suicide on a daily basis for three to four years prior.  Something about my life needed to change.  Scratch that.  Everything in my life needed to change...and quickly.

It was late August when I decided that I was going to run.  I didn't know where.  I didn't know when.  I just had to run.  If I had stayed, I was going to kill myself.  Part of the initial "runaway" plan involved suicide, but I'll get into that later.

Funny Video: Oktoberfest Is Here! Someone Call 911.

Video from Munich this week, that proves that:

3 beers per hour X 8 hours X 6.5% alcohol content + fun house

Video: Cool State Capital Movie Clip Super Edit

YouTube user dondrapersayswhat has a history of piecing scenes from movies and television shows together, and producing hilarious montages.  His latest clip is a "supercut" from 67 films that lists the state capitals of all 50 states in the U.S., in alphabetical order, by state.  It's quite clever.

Video: NYPD Pens Group Of Quiet Female Protesters, Then Maces Them

This is video taken earlier today, September 24, 2011.  A group of female protesters were near Union Square in Downtown Manhattan, part of the larger #occupywallstreet protests taking place.  As you can see by the video, the women are quietly protesting.  If they are speaking, they can't be heard.  Half of them were quietly taking pictures.

As they're standing, NYPD officers encircle them.  They get the females penned within a plastic orange barricade, then hit them point blank with pressurized mace.  Watch:

Breaking: Twitter Hashtags "#occupywallstreet/#takewallstreet" Being Censored Within U.S.


Massive protests have been underway on Wall Street in New York City for the last 36 hours.  Thousands of people are camping out, protesting not only corporate greed, but the role that many in Washington have in lining the pockets of those at the top of the corporate ladder.

Throughout the day, the hashtags #occupywallstreet and #takewallstreet have been used on Twitter in reference to the protests.

Within the hour, it has been learned that somehow, those hashtags that have originated from within the United States have been blocked. is a website that tracks the location of where hashtags are trending.  If you go to the site, and do a search of #occupywallstreet and #takewallstreet, you'll find not one tweet coming from the U.S.  According to Twitter, neither of the two hashtags are even trending within New York City.  I'm only following #occupywallstreet, and have at least 20 new tweets every 30 seconds popping up.  Keep in mind, that it is currently after 3:00AM EST.  Something illegal is happening, pure and simple.

I will try to keep you posted as I get more information.

Correction: The #occupywallstreet protests have been going on now for 8 days, since September 17th.  There has been absolutely zero media attention given to these protests, even though hundreds of people have been arrested (93 on the 24th alone), and dozens have been injured by NYPD officers.  I first caught wind of the protest through last night, after police brutality had taken a sharp up swing in recent days.  What outside media personnel that are trying to get into the protests are being refused entry.  According to numerous sources, two PBS journalists were arrested and detained Saturday morning.  Most information from the scene is coming from bloggers and amateur cameramen.

Update 4:07AM EST:  It appears that #takewallstreet is finally starting to show up on Trendsmap.  When looking at an image of the globe, you cannot see the United States.  It is completely covered with the hashtag.  #occupywallstreet still is not showing.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Video: Why I'll Never Work For Corporate America, Again.

I know that Walmart isn't the only one guilty of this.  Nearly every retail company does it.  Most customer service departments do it.  It just bothers me to see companies that act like they can pay someone $9.00 an hour, and take away their dignity in the process.  It's sad, really, because people have no choice but to dance around and chant in front of the electronics department, for their friends and neighbors to see, if they want to feed their children.  And, corporate America knows that.  This little "ditty" is nothing more than an employer's way of saying, "Show me how much you need that paycheck on Friday".

'Nevermind" Turns 20

On September 24, 1991, DCG Records released Nirvana's sophomore album, 'Nevermind'.  There was little fanfare.  Practically zero publicity for the album.  In fact, the label only expected fans of their first album, 'Bleach' to purchase 'Nevermind'.  Only 46,000 copies of the album were made, 35,000 of those shipped to the UK, where their debut had proven more successful.

Though their sound had been alive and well in the Pacific Northwest for the better part of a decade, it was still new to the world.  Pearl Jam had just released their debut album 'Ten', three weeks prior.  The nation was infatuated with pop music.  Color Me Badd had the number one single in the country with 'I Adore Mi Amor'.  They had just taken the spot after Bryan Adams held it for seven weeks with '(Everything I Do) I Do It For You'.  The mixture of hard rock and punk, which would later be referred to as "grunge" by the media, was wholly unfamiliar to the American masses.

'Smells Like Teen Spirit' eventually made it to the airwaves.  Then the video premiered on MTV's '120 Minutes' (remember that show?).  The response was so overwhelming, the video received regular daytime rotation on the network, which, for a rock video, was unheard of at that time.

In January 2002, Nirvana unseated Michael Jackson at the top of the Billboard charts.  It has gone on to sell over 20 million copies.

If you look at the music industry today, the Billboard charts are much like what they were 20 years ago.  The top 10 this week is dominated by Lady Gaga, Nicki Minaj, LMFAO and Maroon 5.  People say that history is cyclical.  That the world is due for another "Nirvana occurrence".  Some critics believe that it will never happen again.  Well, not at the scale of what we saw in '91, at least.

With the over saturation of pop music, rock acts today have to work double time just to keep up.  Not to mention the fact that today they're openly competing with television as well, when you look at shows like 'American Idol' and 'The X Factor'.  Also, the 16-24 demographic of 1991 appears to be much different than the same of 2011.  In 1991, we were angsty (Yes.  It's a word.  I checked.).  We were disenfranchised, and frankly, I think we were more intelligent.  Today's teenagers wouldn't get the irony or the sarcasm in something like 'Nevermind'.  Hell, they probably don't even get the title.

Anyhow, enough with the "get off of my lawn" bit.  I'm starting to feel old, now.  Here is one of my favorite tracks on the album.  As someone who has lived with depression and anxiety for much of my life, and for a short time prescribed Lithium, I've always thought this song did a great job at sort of talking about mental illness from the perspective of someone that has it.

Video: Bristol Palin Gets Heckled While Taping Reality Show

While taping her reality show Thursday night at Hollywood's Saddle Ranch restaurant, America's favorite knocked up, home schooled snowbilly, Bristol Palin, got into a spat with a heckler.  While riding the mechanical bull - yes, the mechanical bull - a voice from the crowd yelled out, "Did you ride Levi like that?".  He then followed with, "Your mother's a whore", and, "Your mother is the fucking devil". (I starting to think this gentleman didn't vote McCain/Palin in 2008.)  Well, when Bristol was finished jiggling her big titties on national television, she straightened her "Empowered by Christ" sweater, and gave that guy a piece of her mind:


I just love how she automatically assumes the heckler is "homosexual".  Have you ever noticed how some people (usually Evangelical Christians or Republicans) use the word "homosexual" like it's a condition that makes you less human?  They refuse to use the terms "gay" or "lesbian".  It's disgusting.

Maybe the guy went a little too far, but it was nice to see someone put that privileged bigot in her place.

Oh, and for the record, Sarah Palin is a fucking the money grubbing, attention grabbing sense of the word.  I think that is something everyone can agree on.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Quote Of The Day

 “I think I've always been bisexual.  I mean, it’s something that I’ve always been interested in. I think everybody kind of fantasizes about the same sex. I think people are born bisexual, and it’s just that our parents and society kind of veer us off into this feeling of Oh, I can’t. They say it’s taboo. It’s ingrained in our heads that it’s bad, when it’s not bad at all. It’s a very beautiful thing.”
 - Green Day's  Billie Joe Armstrong, in a January 1995 interview with Advocate magazine.

Oh. So, THAT'S Why My Back Hurts... (Photos)

Yesterday, I was in excruciating pain.  The pain level had really amped up from the days before.  Previously, I had been at a constant 9, even with a steady stream of Dilaudid and Percocet.  When I woke up yesterday, my pain was at a 13.  It stayed at that throughout the day.

I spoke with my surgeon's office on Tuesday, and was told that it was OK to remove the dressing from both my back and front incisions.  I could also start showering and getting those areas wet, as long as I wasn't soaking them.  So last night (Thursday), we removed the bandages.  Almost immediately, my back started bleeding.  It wasn't gushing, but enough to start running down my back, my cheek, and freak the fuck out of my wife that it might get on the comforter.

Today In "Are You Fucking Kidding Me?"

At last night's Republican Presidential debate, a question was asked by Stephen Hill, a gay soldier serving in Iraq.  At the time his question was submitted via YouTube, he would have had to have asked it anonymously.  However, since the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell went into effect on Tuesday, Hill is now able to serve openly.

He asked, "Under one of your presidencies, do you plan to circumvent the progress that has been made for gay and lesbian soldiers in the military?"

Listen to the reaction from some members of the crowd:

Of course the question went to Rick Santorum, who by far spews the most anti-gay rhetoric of all of the GOP candidates.  He said that "any type of sexual activity has no place in the military", which is true, but has absolutely nothing to do with allowing gays and lesbians to serve openly.  This is the man that said that gay marriage would lead to "man on dog" relationships.  In his mind, the repeal of DADT is an anal rape free-for-all in the barrack's showers.

What's worse?  Not one of the candidates spoke up to defend the soldier.  I don't care if you disagree with someone's lifestyle.  I don't care if you disagree with the policies of this administration.  I don't care if you disagree with the concept of war or the reasons why we are currently in the Middle East.  YOU DO NOT BOO A SOLDIER.  PERIOD.  Those men and women are risking their lives every day, doing a job that most Americans are unwilling to do.  What a vile thing to do.

Well, at least this time the crowd wasn't shouting to let the uninsured die:

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

After 31 Years, R.E.M. Call It A Day

It is a sad day that was inevitable, I guess.

In a statement issued on the band's website, singer Michael Stipe said:
"A wise man once said--'the skill in attending a party is knowing when it's time to leave.' We built something extraordinary together. We did this thing. And now we're going to walk away from it. 

"I hope our fans realize this wasn't an easy decision; but all things must end, and we wanted to do it right, to do it our way. 

"We have to thank all the people who helped us be R.E.M. for these 31 years; our deepest gratitude to those who allowed us to do this. It's been amazing." 
My favorite memory of R.E.M. was in January of 1993.  MTV was producing a concert celebrating the inauguration of Bill Clinton, and a band called Automatic Baby took the stage.  It was Michael Stipe and Mike Mills of R.E.M., along with Larry Mullen Jr. and Adam Clayton of U2.  At the time each band had an album out.  R.E.M. with 'Automatic for the People', and U2 with 'Achtung Baby'. (Get it? Automatic Baby?)  They performed an acoustic rendition of 'One' that, to this day, is easily the best version of the song I have ever heard.

They told us that "It gets better", 18 years before It Gets Better:

R.E.M. will leave a legacy as one of the most prolific and influential American bands of the 20th century.    It's hard not to turn on the radio today and hear a little bit of their songwriting style permeate it's way through modern music.  From contemporary country to Radiohead, R.E.M.'s style has become commonplace to the world.  It's unavoidable.  From Nirvana to The White Stripes, R.E.M. has set the model as the American rock band.  They will be missed.

Video: Could You Possibly Think Of A Better Morning?

From Norwegian banker, DnB NOR.

The ad translates:

"Some people are lucky in life.  For the rest of us, saving up can be smart."

No kidding.

We Can Rebuild Him...

Seriously, though.  When talking to my surgeon's assistant prior to the first surgery last week, he estimated that between the three procedures, and a combined six months of follow up appointments involved, their office would likely be billing my insurance provider somewhere in the ballpark of $2 million this year.  He said that they would probably only receive $250-300k of that.  But still.

Steve Austin doesn't seem that special in 2011.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

And.....This Sucks

Things aren't progressing exactly as planned. My surgery yesterday was almost 8 hours instead of 4. My pain level continues to increase. I am numb on my left side, with no way of even knowing if I'm holding anything in my left hand.

I was supposed to be up and walking today. I was able to get to the door without passing out. That's as far as I could get. The catheter is still in. I'm so hopped up on pain meds that I'm loopy. It looks like I may be going to a physical rehab facility for a few days before home.

When I am not flat on my back, I will go into more details.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Still Here...

Surgery went well this morning, though it was slightly awkward to have my lower back and "bikini line" shaved by an older nurse. Guess it's a good thing I got that tramp stamp laser removed last year. Now, I have been flat on my back since noon.

I am in so much pain, (front, back and middle), that I am nearly passing out. I am on an automatic delivery system for Dilaudid every ten minutes, and have had absolutely no relief. They can't figure out why I'm in so much pain.

Surgery number two is at 8AM tomorrow.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Tweet Of The Day

I just realized...this was when I became an Atheist.



So Long. Farewell. Auf Wiedersehen. Good Night.

Things will be quiet at "The Twitch" for the next week or so.  Since I will be hospitalized, I will not be doing much in the way of posting.

I will do my best to at least do a quick post so that you know that things are well.  I will have Wi-Fi access in my hospital room, but will likely be sedated until Wednesday or Thursday.  If I am unable to get onto my laptop, I will at least update my Facebook status through my cell phone.

If all else fails, my wife will update things for me.

Thank you for your thoughts and well wishes.


If you would like to "friend" me on Facebook, you can reach me at

Update: Surgery Rescheduled - I'm Going Under Tomorrow

Messy.  Confusing.  Hectic.  Such has been my life in the last 72 hours.

I was scheduled to have surgery on my spine next Monday, the 19th.  It was supposed to be in West Phoenix, more than 90 minutes from where my wife is now working, and where my daughter is being taken care of during the day.  The hospital is supposedly top of the line, but designed for same day surgeries.  I was scheduled for a 5-7 day stay.  The hospital was so far away, I was expecting no visitors, and the hospital had no internet access for patients!!  In 2011?!  FML.  Needless to say, I was not looking forward to my stay.

I received a phone call on Thursday morning from my surgeon's office.  He had a last minute cancellation for a surgery this Monday morning.  Considering the recent complications I have been experiencing, and the major inconvenience the location of the other hospital would pose upon my family, he was offering me the first chance to take the place for the cancellation.

Mashup Monday - 'Folsom Prison Gangsta'z' (Sunday Edition)

In today's edition of "Mashup Monday", we have a tale of two men that were considered outsiders during their respective times.  Separately, they were the cornerstones of their musical genres.  Together, they make a damn good tune.  Take one part Johnny Cash, one part Eazy-E, and you get 'Folsom Prison Gangsta'z'.

Individual tracks:

Johnny Cash - 'Folsom Prison Blues'
Eazy-E - 'Luv 4 Dem Gangsta'z'

Video: State Farm's 'Empire State Of Mind' (Remembering 9/11)

Today State Farm is debuting a heartwarming new commercial.  Directed by acclaimed New York City director Spike Lee, it features nearly 150 NYC area schoolchildren between the ages of 8 and 11.  They walk throughout the city, stopping at four firehouses along the way, singing 'Empire State of Mind'.  It's an extremely touching tribute to the city of New York, and to those that risked, and lost, their lives to save others ten years ago.

Grab a tissue.

For those who were wondering, many of the kids in the video were part of the PS22 Chorus at one time.

Sunday Confessional: How 9/11 Changed Me

This is the third year in which this article has been posted.  It was the first story published on "The Daily Twitch".

Growing up as a Jehovah's Witness, I was always told that it was wrong to salute the flag. I wasn't allowed to say the Pledge of Allegiance. I had to remain seated for the National Anthem. It's not that I had been intentionally disrespecting or desecrating the flag as a child. My parents never instilled in me the reasons why the symbols of our country, and the flag in particular, should be respected.

You can imagine the uncomfortable situations I had found myself in growing up. In the classroom everyday for years. At school assemblies. At sporting events. Countless dirty looks. People making comments under their breath. Even the occasional thwack to the back of the head with the words, "What's wrong with you? You a Commie or somethin? Stand up boy".

In my younger days, I saw it as an opportunity to "witness". To share my beliefs with others.  I would tell them that I wasn't standing because my religion wouldn't permit me to. Usually, that would be as far as I got. The offended spectator would turn a more enraged shade of red and that would be my que to face forward for the rest of the event and not make eye contact with anyone for the next 3 hours.

As I got older, I got wiser. I realized that by being in my seats during the National Anthem, I was only asking for trouble. So, I would generally take that time of the pre-game to go to the bathroom or grab a drink or a souvenir. Most times, I would just intentionally show up late to a game - skip the first 2 minutes of the period or the top half of the first inning altogether.

So how does this tie in to 9/11? I'll get to that in a second. But first: February 13, 1983. The Forum, Irvine, California. It was the NBA All Star Game. For some reason my dad was watching it on TV. I never remember him being much of a basketball fan. I've never been much of one either. But something special happened that night. The time came for the National Anthem. This is what we saw:

It gave me chills. As a 7 year old, I didn't know why. I had a feeling then that I couldn't put into words, that I wouldn't feel again until 18 years later. I left the church in 1996, but, out of habit I guess, continued my "tradition" of not standing for the National Anthem.

Then came September 11th, 2001. It's a day that, 8 years later, I still think about on a daily basis. We all tend to re-live the shots of the people running in the streets, the towers falling, and the planes hitting the towers. Today though, I had a different memory for the first time. I remembered the firefighters going into Ground Zero to tie an American Flag onto a beam of the World Trade Center. This was still while the area was unsafe. There was still a possibility of the surrounding buildings collapsing. It was their way of saying "We're still here. We're still standing".

When I saw that flag amongst the rubble, that feeling I first felt as a 7 year old had returned. It was pride. The flag reminded me of the anthem's lyrics itself: "Gave proof through the night, That our flag was still there, O say does that Star Spangled Banner yet wave, O'er the land of the free, And the home of the brave". It waved over many a brave volunteer in the days and weeks following the attacks.

September 10, 2001, was the last day I refused to sit for the National Anthem. Since the events of 9/11, not only do I show my respect to my nation and its flag, but I sing along with the Star Spangled Banner, and get choked up at the end. Every time.

Video: Herman Cain's 9/11 Tribute

Yesterday, Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain posted a tribute to the victims of 9/11 on his YouTube page.  It is, to say the least, insulting.  In the clip, Cain is singing 'God Bless America', while footage of planes hitting the towers of the World Trade Center are shown.  His backing track?  Screams.  The video ends with the words:


A quadruple negative?  This is someone that wants to be the President of the United States of America.  The video was paid for by "The Friends of Herman Cain", and ends with "Herman Cain - President 2012,".  So yes, this is technically a campaign ad.

Fucking disgusting.

Video: Rare Michael Jackson 'I'll Be There' Pepsi Commercial (1992)

I was searching YouTube for something yesterday, and stumbled upon a Pepsi commercial that I had never seen before.  Apparently, it never aired within the United States.  It aired in 1992, and features Michael Jackson playing a piano, singing the Jackson 5 hit, 'I'll Be There'.  A younger version of Michael enters the room, and the two sing a duet of the classic tune.

Very nice.

Video: Paul Simon Performs 'Sound Of Silence' At 9/11 Memorial

At today's dedication of the 9/11 Memorial in New York City, Paul Simon was asked to perform 'Bridge Over Troubled Water'.  At the last minute, he decided to sing 'Sound of Silence'.  As you can see from the video, the lifelong New York area resident looked devastated.

After ten long years, we still have not "healed".

Video: Blue Man Group - 'Exhibit 13' (Remembering 9/11)

The world grieved the events of September 11th in different ways.  Performance artists Blue Man Group created 'Exhibit 13'.  Generally known for exciting numbers, 'Exhibit 13' is a somber and haunting piece of music.  The title comes from a piece of paper that was found in the Carroll Gardens neighborhood of Brooklyn, New York.

One of the images of the video is of a partially burnt memo from Cantor Fitzgerald.  When the towers fell, 658 employees of the firm, located on floors 101-105 of Tower One, were killed.

It didn't occur to me until months after seeing the performance, but the rate at which the pieces of papers fall behind the group coincides with the first tower being hit, then the second tower, then their collapse.

A very somber, yet touching memorial.


I thought that this would be the appropriate way to start off the morning...all things considered.

Thank you, Charlie...and Nat.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Video: Live - 'Overcome' (Remembering 9/11)

Within 48 hours of the attacks on the World Trade Center, documentarians Camera Planet pieced together footage from around the site, which had come to be known as "Ground Zero".  They submitted the video to VH1, with Live's 'Overcome' as a backing track.  The network aired it immediately, without receiving clearance from the band.  The following message would scroll along the bottom of the screen:


When Ed Kowalczyk, the singer of the band and 'Overcome's songwriter, saw the video later in the week, he eagerly gave MTV Networks permission to use the song.  In fact, the footage was later edited and became the track's "official" video.

It seemed like that video played every ten minutes, like clockwork, on every single video channel on cable.  In the week following 9/11, I must have seen it over a hundred times.  It's one of the greatest memories to stand out from that week for me.

Photo Of The Day

Video: Kathy Griffin Reads Letter From Offended Christian

It Has Been An Wonderful Two Years. Thank You.

Note:  Please forgive me.  I have a lot on my mind.  This may not be the most well written article, but it's the thought that counts, right?

Tomorrow will be the start of the third year of "The Twitch".  I started the blog as a way to vent my frustrations. It was a journal of sorts.  A hobby that didn't involve shooting zombies.

The following two years have been nothing short of amazing.  The more I wrote, the more I started to become a writer.  To look back at some of the dribble that was typed out in the early days is embarrassing.  Please don't read the archives.  LOL.  The entire theme of my website has changed over time.  Looking at my page today, you would have no idea that I started by discussing my issues with Tourette's and PTSD.

I have taken a more active role in politics.  I have also stepped up, and become somewhat of an activist on LGBT issues, especially those that effect the bisexual community.  I even came out on this page.  More than anything, this page has become an outlet for me to discuss my religious upbringing, and the consequences that followed because of it.  I don't know where my mind would be without having this outlet.

Since September 2009, some posts have been more popular than others.  Believe it or not, a story about "Zombie Boy" Rick Genest, the tattooed gentleman in Lady Gaga's 'Born This Way' video, is the most popular thus far.  Though the article was written in March of this year, it is responsible for almost 25% of all traffic to the website, since it's launch two years ago.  Six months after it's debut, it is still viewed six times for every click that the next most popular story receives each day.  Insane.

It was around that time that things really started to take off for "The Twitch".  In fact, 82% of my total site views have been since March 1st, and the page has 30 times the monthly views that it did at the beginning of the year.  This is no longer a hobby.  It is a profession.  I tell people that I am a blogger.

That's the reason why you may have noticed some changes to the page recently.  "The Daily Twitch", while a catchy title, was already taken as a URL.  Turns out, there is an advertising blog of the same name in Australia.  So, after 18+ months, it was time for a change.  "The Twitch Online" was born.  There may be a number of additional, minor changes coming soon in the way of layout.

I want to thank everyone for reading my page.  For getting a laugh every now and then.  For those that take time to comment.  Those who share my articles on Facebook and Twitter.

I would like to thank a few of the readers that have followed me early on (Those whose names I know, at least.)  Casey, Rachel and Melissa, thank you for sticking with me through some really shitty posts.  LOL.  To my subscribers, thank you for waking up with me.  Sometimes, I don't know what any of you see in this website, but it's nice to know that you see something worthwhile.

Here's to another fantastic year.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Video: "Bonjour, Girl."

That Belle can be one sassy bitch.  Hey, girl.

Today In "Ew, Get The Fuck Off Of Me!" (NSFW)

The video below is a demonstration of a real product currently on the market.  It's called the "My Little Secret Talking Head MP3 Vibrator".  Believe it or not, you can buy one on Amazon.

The product description is as follows.  I am pasting it as-is, punctuation errors and all:
"The talking head mp3 vibrator is a rabbit vibe with state of the art cd-quality speakers that talks dirty to you. you can enjoy your most intimate fantasies with sexy strangers or have your lover instantly record your favorite audio fantasy to suit any erotic occasion. you can download dozens of fantasy lovers or record your own fantasy with cd-quality sampling technology. the talking head is very enjoyable with the headphones or with the sound off. it delivers a range of vibrator speeds and modes, including separate controls for the rabbit. the base has rotating pearls that add intensity to your sensual experience"
While the product may sound intriguing in theory, your curiosity, as well as your libido will take a dive, once the device is turned on:

No.  No.  No.  Just....NO!

That may be the first time I have ever been skeeved out by a sex toy.  Who could have possibly thought that was "sexy"?!  Even gay men would be screaming, "Get the fuck away from me!", after turning that thing on.  It's has that universal "dry heave" factor.

And what's with the name?  "My Little Secret"?  What is your secret?  That you're doing you're dad's drunk boss?  What, was "Date Rape in a Can" already trademarked?

I love how the vibrator came first.  Quality product.

Video: George C. Scott Previews Star Wars On Blu-ray

Leave a comment.  Let me know if you have any intention of dropping $90.00 on the Blu-rays when they come out next Tuesday.

Video: A Disturbing Moment Of Pride For Rick Perry

During last night's Republican debate on MSNBC, host Brian Williams asked Texas' Rick Perry about his state's record on capital punishment during his tenure as governor.  The question alone garnered the loudest response from the audience of the debate.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Republican party of 2011...bloodthirsty savages.

And, for fuck's sake Perry, wipe that smug look off your face.  You remind me of Dubya.

Church Sign Of The Day

Westboro Baptist Church has it all wrong.

Video: UFC Fighter Nate Quarry Talks About Being Raised As One Of Jehovah's Witnesses

UFC middleweight Nate "The Rock" Quarry, is one of the most successful fighters of recent history in the Ultimate Fighting Championship.

He was also raised as one of Jehovah's Witnesses.  He left the organization, which he later referred to as a cult, at the age of 24.  As you can see in this July 2011 interview, Quarry has no problem talking about his prior life:

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Cool Blog Alert: 'The Day I Became An Atheist'

Over the last year, there have been a number of blogs that have looked at the world from a different perspective. One told the stories of gay and lesbian individuals that knew as children of their sexual orientation.  Another proved that your parents were pretty cool before you came along.

A new website has debuted this week in the same vein, but with a decidedly more serious tone.  From author Kyria Abrahams comes 'The Day I Became an Atheist'.  I must admit, it's a compelling read.

The blog is comprised primarily of reader submissions.  So far, the majority of them are rather heartbreaking.  I encourage you to read the riveting, powerful, and often times, emotional stories from people all over the world.  Kyria's post for example:

“My ex-boyfriend assaulted me by slamming a balled fist into either side of my head. He could have killed me, but thankfully, all I got was a lousy concussion. I lost two jobs and was left with thousands of dollars in legal and hospital bills. I was also unable to say goodbye to my dying father. The people around me said everything happens for a reason and I just didn’t see God’s plan. Apparently God’s plan was for my ex to get away with it. One year later, and I challenge anyone to find a single Godly thing that came out of that incident.”
If you would like to contribute your own story for the blog, you can submit it through the blog directly, or email Kyria at  We would all like to hear it.  Kyria's latest book is called I'm Perfect, You're Doomed: Tales from a Jehovah's Witness Upbringing.  You can purchase it on Amazon by clicking on the link above.

Video: "I Will Follow You Into The Dark"

Few people have seen the music video for Death Cab For Cutie's single 'I Will Follow You Into the Dark'.  Even fewer have seen the original, alternate video for the track.  It is one of my personal favorites, and I thought I would share.

The video, using a storybook, tells a tale of companionship, love and loss, using two rabbits as primary characters.  It's very touching, and adds a level of emotion to the song that most music videos cannot match these days.  I hope you enjoy it.

Video: Pageant Mom Dresses Daughter As Prostitute

As if child beauty pageants aren't controversial enough, already.  TLC has released a promotional clip for an upcoming episode of 'Toddlers and Tiaras'.  In it, Paisley comes out dressed up as her favorite actress, Julia Roberts.  Take a look.


Paisley's mother spoke to TMZ today, trying to defend herself.  She says that due to creative editing on the part of TLC, she's made to look like a bad mom.  Paisley had another outfit that day:  the dress that Julia Roberts wore at the end of 'Pretty Woman'.  See?

No harm, no foul.  She's "a modern day Cinderella".  She says, "I'm raising my child just as well as any mother does ... I take my kid to church every week ... at least I'm not forcing them into sports and getting my child injured like some parents."

Maybe not physical injuries, but that kid is going to have a mountain of therapy bills.  Is she really so blind that she doesn't realize that she dressed her 3 year old up like a hooker on national television?