What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?

Why aren't these two together?  I love their chemistry.

Miracle On 42nd Street

I first saw this video two years ago.  Since then, it was removed from YouTube due to copyright infringement.

Looks like Alex Karigan and Zac Hammer recently uploaded it onto Vimeo...Just in time for Christmas.

To Kids From One To Ninety-Two....

I originally wrote this post four years ago.  Thought I might share it again....


Growing up as one of Jehovah's Witnesses, I didn't have much exposure to the holidays as a child. I never knew the joy of opening up a wrapped present. I never got to see a Christmas tree up close, in all of it's glory. I never heard any holiday song enough to learn the words to it. I didn't want to....except one.

I was very sheltered as a child. My parents tried to "protect" me from the dangers of this "worldly system of things" (yes, that was the language that was used in the house). What they failed to realize, was that you can't control what is being fed into your childrens' brains outside your home. You cannot control the music being played at the grocery store. You can't control what they play at Walmart or Sears.

As I said, for the most part it had no effect on me. I really had no idea what I was missing out on. But when I heard that raspy voice coming over the loud speaker, I knew that there was something important that I was missing out on. That one song - those three minutes - convinced me that Christmas didn't have to be a religious holiday.  It was a time to spend with family and friends. I've never forgotten that.

This was the first, and to my recollection, only Christmas song I learned by heart. It gives me a warm feeling inside every time I hear it, as I hope it does you.

"And so, I'm offering this simple phrase...
to kids from one to ninety two....
although it's been said many times many ways....
Merry Christmas to you....."

Have A Merry Christmas

Makes me smile every time I see it.....

Tweet Of The Day

This tweet, which was later deleted, was sent by Washington State Rep. Joe Fitzgibbon, shortly after the Seattle Seahawks lost to the Arizona Cardinals, 17-10.

He forgot to mention that Arizona is a white trash/Juggalo Mecca....

Things I Need To Remember After Leaving A Cult

My friend Catrina posted this on Facebook a couple of months ago.  She was kind enough to let me borrow it.  There are a couple of items on this list - particularly number four - that I have to force myself to acknowledge from time to time.

Things I Need to Remember After Leaving a Cult

1. It is a cult…regardless of the name it chooses; it is and will remain a cult.
   
2. You are no longer in the cult.
   
3. You can only control one outcome while being in and exiting a cult: your own.
   
4. You did not leave family behind- you left behind cult members.
   
5. You are free to choose a belief system or none at all.
   
6. No one will fully grasps what it was like in a cult; do not feel the need to make others understand.
   
7. Build a support system- create your idea of a family, and take control of who enters your inner circle.
   
8. It is okay to be confused. It is okay to be angry. It is okay to question everything.
   
9. Revisit the past, but do not live there.
   
10. Many things will trigger memories of your past cult life. Learn to spot these triggers and deal with them accordingly.
    
11. Needing mental help is optional. If you need it, then do so. It does not make you weak…it makes you battle ready for the next war over your mind in life.
    
12. We attract what we are. If you want good, positive people, be positive to counter the loneliness.
    
13. Forgive yourself. It is finished the past, and you paid your dues while in the cult.
    
14. Vent. Find safe places where you can release your anger and pain when you need to. You do not have to suffer alone.
    
15. Learn to let go. This is the hardest one. It takes time and lots of strength.  
    

2013 - The Web In Review

Humanity:  Two steps forward.  One step back.

It's still progress....

Mashup Monday - 2013 In Review

It's getting to be that time of the year, again.  Every year, in the last couple of weeks of December, YouTube is innundated with year-end mashups of the year's movies and music.  Most are mediocre.  Some really stand out.

I don't know what to call Gen Ip.  Is she an artist?  A master editor?  A filmmaker?  In any event, I desperately anticipate her filmography each year.  While, in my opinion, 'Filmography 2010' was far and away her best effort, her video for 2013 is quite remarkable.



When it comes to the end-of-the-year music mashups, DJ Earworm tends to have the best mix every year.  His mixes are always fluid, with the tunes that had the most radio airplay for the year.  I actually recognized most of the songs.



If you quote me on this, I'll deny it.  But....pop music this year was pretty darn good.  Between albums from Macklemore, Daft Punk, Justin Timberlake, Gaga, and Lorde, not to mention a couple of good singles from folks like Robin Thicke, radio was almost bearable in 2013.

I said almost.

Happy Thanksgiving

The Best Black Friday Deal Of 2013

There has been quite a bit of controversy this year, due to a large number of retailers starting their Black Friday sales on Thanksgiving night.  Walmart, JC Penney, Best Buy, Target, Michaels, Macy's, and many other chains are opening their doors on Thanksgiving, and requiring their employees to work on a day that is meant to be spent with family.

I have found a way to not only avoid doing any shopping on the holiday, but avoid the stampedes on Friday morning, as well.  Best of all, I guarantee that you'll spend less than anyone else on the block.

Give the gift that keeps on giving.  Online piracy.

The Pirate Bay has all of the best deals this winter.  For example, the Elysium Blu-Ray (which isn't released in stores until December 17th) for free. A blu-ray of The Wolverine (releasing December 3rd) for practically absolutely nothing. And Despicable Me 2 in 3D for three easy installments of jack shit.

Prefer a classic?  How about Song of the South, the 1946 Disney movie that has been locked up in the vault longer than Charlie Manson?

Have books on your Christmas list?  Try a Kindle version of Allie Brosh's Hyperbole and a Half.

Why wake yourself up at two in the morning, just to bludgen an old lady with no teeth, so that you come home with a waffle iron?  Let's face it.  How many times is Sally going to be making waffles, anyway?  Sleep in this year.  Let your modem do all of the work.  You won't regret it.

Tweet Of The Day

The Freedom From Religion Foundation is urging for a boycott of Hobby Lobby.  Personally, my family has been boycotting them since this entire contraception thing started.  We used to spend a lot of money there, between yarn and soapmaking supplies.

Headline Of The Day

Is it bad that I can't stop laughing?

One Million Moms Is Going To Ship Their Pants

In April, One Million Moms went into a full-scale tizzy over Kmart's "Ship My Pants" commercial. The ironically named OMM (they only have about 60,000 people following them on Facebook) is a offshoot of The American Family Association.  The AFA is, believe it or not, a hate group, which has been certified by the Southern Poverty Law Center.

In any event, One Million Moms' campaign was unsuccessful, as Kmart continued to air the hilarious ad.  In addition, it has nearly 20 million views on YouTube.  A couple of weeks later, Kmart released an ad touting their "Big Gas Savings".  That commercial went on to get another six million views.

Kmart's 2013 ad campaign was so successful, that they renewed their contract with ad agency DraftFCB in August.  This is their first ad under the new contract.  Just in time for Christmas, it's Jingle Balls Bells.



The ship is about to hit the fan.....

Today In WTF

You know that really cool Volvo commercial with Jean Claude Van Damme that went viral last week? (27 million views in four days viral)

This isn't it...




That isn't really Toronto mayor Rob Ford.  It's the work of a visual effects company in New York City by the name of Artjail.

Hilarious and horrifying, all at the same time.

BTW, during the same city council meeting today, Ford was filmed mimicking drunk driving and knocking a female city councilwoman to the ground. He's a walking cringe factory.

If You Ever Want Some Honest Feedback

I haven't had my laptop available for the last two weeks, so all communication with the online world has been with my cell phone.

I use an app on my phone called SwiftKey. It learns my writing patterns by evaluating my texts, my tweets, and my status updates. From there, it makes an educated guess at what I'll type, based upon my history.  Many times, I only have to type in the first letter or two of a particular word, and it can guess the next three.  Helps out a lot when I'm having a bad day with the brain fog.

If you ever want to gauge on how things have been going for you, let your phone speak on your behalf. Let the auto fill option type out its best guess for what you want to say.  You might be better off than what you think.

I'm going to let my phone type out the first full sentence on its own, based upon the most common words I've typed into the keyboard recently. Here goes:

"Please contact us at the front of the year of the most expensive artwork ever sold at the Drake concert tickets so I know it's a good time."

So, evidently my phone thinks that I like expensive artwork and Drake.  Perhaps my theory is a little off on this one....

The Million Mask March

Remember, remember
The fifth of November
The Gunpowder Treason and plot
I know of no reason
The Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot

Today, in over 400 cities across the globe, millions of people will be protesting against the governments that are tasked with working on behalf of the people.

Something tells me that I won't be seeing any coverage of this in the media.

"When They Are Saying "There Is Peace And Security""........

1 Thessalonians 5:3:

"When they are saying, “There is peace and security,” at that time sudden destruction will attack them, like labor pains start with a pregnant woman, and they definitely won’t escape."

Looks like Armageddon is about 70 years late....

Tweet Of The Day

A true friend masturbates with you?  Or, do they give you a handjob?  What would Jesus do?

Could Someone Please Explain This To Me?

The only thing that comes to my mind is....

The Fucker Works In Mysterious Ways

I read about this yesterday, and it pissed me off to a point where I had to vent.  Sorry.

While vacationing at Crater of Diamonds State Park* in Arkansas, 14-year-old Tana Clymer found a yellow diamond, weighing 3.85 carats.  The diamond could be worth up to $60,000.

The State Park, a tourist attraction, allows visitors to keep any diamonds they find while on the grounds. Approximately 400 diamonds have been found in 2013 alone.  The largest diamond ever discovered within the United States, weighing a whopping 40.23 carats, was discovered at the site in 1924.

Naturally, Tana took time to think the individual that helped her find the diamond - God.

"I thought it was a piece of paper or foil from a candy wrapper," Tana said. "Then, when I touched it, I thought it was a marble. I think God pointed me to it. I was about to sprint to join my family, and God told me to slow down and look. Then, I found the diamond!"

She named the diamond "God's Jewel".  Earlier this year, a 12-year-old North Carolina boy named a 5.16 carat diamond he found there "God's Glory".  Being the good Christians this girl and her family are, they're donating the money they receive from the sale of "God's Jewel", and donating it to their local food bank.

Fuck no.

She's keeping that rock.

"She's either going to keep the diamond for a ring, or, if it's worth a lot, she'll want that for college."

You know, they say that God works in mysterious ways.  I don't get it.  God lets a 14-year-old murder his algebra teacher with a box cutter in Massachusetts.  Then, in the same week, he helps another 14-year-old find a diamond and pocket the money.

Look, I'm not upset that the kid found the diamond.  And, if she wants to keep it, good for her.

But, if you're going to credit someone for pointing it out to you, at least pretend to do something with the money that that person would have wanted.  There are so many horrible things happening in the world, I'm sure that helping a kid in the Ozarks find a diamond was not high on his To Do list.  And, if it was, I'm sure his reason for aiding in its discovery was not so that some teenage kid could put it in a ring.

Mysterious as fuck, if you ask me....

*Who in the hell vacations in Arkansas?  Could things get any more depressing?  The only time I "vacationed" in Arkansas, was to visit my grandmother while she was undergoing open heart surgery.  That's three weeks of my life I'll never get back.

Vine Vednesday

I know...horrible pun.

I'm sort of a late adopter when it comes to Vine.  But, I'm starting to realize that it's a fantastic medium to make something original and creative.  Writing a novel is difficult.  That's why I haven't written one, yet.  It's somewhat overwhelming to try to fill 250 pages.  The same could be said for creating a two hour long movie.  Comparatively, six seconds is easy.  And, it's amazing what can be said...what can be done...in six seconds.  I'm addicted.

What Is It?

Answer after the break....

Headline Of The Day

Yeah.  'The Onion' went there....

One hell of a way to make a point.

Graph Of The Day

Thanks to New Jersey.....

Courtesy of AFER.

Your Body Positive Daily Affirmation

You may not recognize the name Mary Lambert.

She's a Seattle area poet and singer/songwriter.  You may know her as the woman singing the chorus in Macklemore's 'Same Love'.



She is an amazing poet.  Her spoken word reminds me a lot of Ani Difranco.  This is a poem that she recorded last year.  It's called 'Body Love'.



Today is Love Your Body Day.  Don't be ashamed of who you are or what you look like. Stop trying to fit into molds that other people have for you.  Stop reading beauty magazines.  They will only make you feel ugly.

The lyrics to 'Body Love' can be found here.

Happy Genocide Day!!!

Someone pass around the rapings and smallpox blankets.....

Hope you got the day off to celebrate.

The Greatest Thing To Ever Happen To The Internet....(this afternoon)

Either you get it or you don't.....

25 Years Of National Coming Out Day

I came out publicly four years ago today.  It was one of the greatest weights to be lifted from my chest.

Never be afraid to be yourself.  Pretending to be someone else takes a lot of energy that could be spent enjoying your life.

JW Library App Surprisingly Unimpressive

With short notice (48 hours), the Watchtower organization debuted two new apps for iOS and Android.  JW Library, and JW Library Sign Language.

Currently, the app is the 113th most popular free app in the App Store.  At one point on Monday, it was the third most popular iOS app, and in the top 20 for Android.  In the last three days, the app has seen over 100,000 downloads on Apple devices alone.  There have been over 100,000 downloads on Android, as well.

In the Google Play Store, the app currently has 19,809 reviews.  19,638 are five star reviews.  On iOS, it has a total of 14,059 reviews, 13,878 of which are five star.  That's 99.1% and 98.7% respectively.  Reading some of these reviews, it appears that most people believe that God himself programmed the code.

"All glory, honor, and praise to the only true and living God Jehovah who has provided."

"I love this app.  So simple.  So easy.  Jehovah always gives the greatest gifts."

"Yes and now there is an app for that - for our newly clarified nwt bible and references to the extreme.  Bible highlights here I come!  Thank you Jehovah.  You truly are so good..."

So, late last night, I downloaded the app on my phone.  And, I have to admit, I'm not really impressed.

First of all, the "library" has a total of 6 Bible translations - The New World Translation (2013 Revision), a "Reference Bible", the Kingdom Interlinear, the Byington translation, the American Standard Version, and the King James.

That's it.  With the dozens of books and brochures that Jehovah's Witnesses have published, and the hundreds of editions of The Watchtower and Awake! that have been produced, the only JW-published publication on the app is the Bible.

I would hardly consider this a "library".  If the only books I had on my shelf were the 'Twilight' series, I would be hard pressed to legitimately say that I had a "library".  I was shocked to discover that the app didn't even have an option to view the daily text, the weekly Bible reading, access the Witnesses website, or to contact them to schedule a bible study.

In all fairness, JW Library is quite pleasant to look at.  The user interface is simple and easy to use, with an appeasing array of grays and purples.  

That being said, the app is pretty much useless.  As one of Jehovah's Witnesses, when are you going to read the Bible without any "study aids"?  When do Jehovah's Witnesses EVER encourage people to read their Bible, without the help from any Watchtower published books or magazines? Sure, the Revised New World Translation may "read like a novel" (which is depressing in and of itself), but you don't see JWs going door to door, trying to put Bibles in people's hands.

There are a two appendixes included in the application, which have a number of charts and maps, diagrams of King Solomon's temple and the Temple Mount in Jerusalem, and assorted weights and measures.  They're interesting to look at, but provide nothing than trivial information.  They remind me of the maps that used to be in the binding of the old green Bibles.  It's something to look at when you're bored by the Sunday talk.

Like I said...interesting.  But, there's nothing here that will be useful in your day to day life.  Coincidentally, the biblical measurement for a span is the same method you use to accurately measure one's penis.

Even as someone that was no longer in the faith, I was looking forward to using the app to keep up with the rhetoric and "new light" coming from the bigwigs in New York.  Sadly, I was underwhelmed.  I've seen much better "JW" apps that were made by individuals trying to make a quick buck.

Photo Of The Day

HA!!!!

She licked her makeup off, from sticking her tongue out so much.  This is the greatest thing I've seen today.

Oh....one more.....

Headline Of The Day

Five reasons Americans already love ObamaCare — plus one reason why they’re gonna love it even more, soon

via Fox News

Yeah.  You heard me.  Fox. Fucking. News. (Which would explain the numerous mistakes in the byline.)

So, let me get this straight.  Fox spends most of this year spinning the Affordable Care Act, to make it look like President Obama is the Devil himself, delivering Hell on Earth.  Republicans in the House end up shutting down the federal government, because they were unable to repeal the law after 44 attempts.  Fox News commentators have spent the last two days, either cheering the shutdown, or insisting on calling it a "slimdown".  And now, there's this column on their website.

Fuck you, Fox News.

Hundreds of thousands of children weren't able to go to Head Start today. Most of those kids get their only two meals of the day while there.  If the federal shutdown isn't resolved within the next couple of days, WIC offices across the country will be forced to close, until funds become available again.  $45 in bread, milk, and cereal may not seem like much.  It is.  It's the difference between being able to live paycheck to paycheck, and not knowing how you're going to feed your daughter in the morning.  We have been in situations where the thought of actually living paycheck to paycheck was akin to winning the lottery.  When you're 23 days away from your next check, your checking account is overdrawn, and the only money you have is a handful of pennies and nickels.

And you have the nerve to make jokes about potted meat and Tang, and then sit there and pretend as if the most horrific consequence of this pissing contest you're championing is that veterans can't get into the World War Two Memorial.

Fuck.  You.

Your Daily Affirmation

Don't Forget To Set Your Alarm

Was Heath Ledger's Joker Inspired By Tom Waits?

That's what a lot of folks are saying.  And, if you watch any interview with Tom Waits filmed between 1976 and 1981, you would understand why.

Here is just one clip from YouTube (there are dozens of them).  It's of Waits as a guest on the Don Lane Show in 1981.  It only takes a few seconds before your mind is blown.



It really bothers me how everyone was laughing at him.  I guess people tend to mock what they don't understand.

Bye Bye Bye, Bitch...

The series finale of 'Breaking Bad' aired last night.  I didn't see it.  I'm still in the middle of season 1 on Netflix.

Last week, Jimmy Fallon and crew put together the perfect send off for the show....in my opinion, at least.

Quote Of The Day

"I shall stomp on all those who oppose me.
The stomping shall be swift.
The stomping shall be painful.
And I shall show no mercy 
in all of my stomping.
AMEN."

In 1997, I bought a sticker at Hot Topic with this quote on it.  I've held onto it for nearly 14 years.  It finally lost all of its "sticky".  

Benedict Cumberbatch

Every single time I hear his name....

'In Utero' Turns 20

Nirvana's 'In Utero' was released September 13, 1993.  It's hard to believe that I've been listening to this album longer than I haven't.  I had purchased it for the first time shortly after my 18th birthday.

I've always enjoyed listening to 'In Utero' more than 'Nevermind'.  To me, it has always sounded more refined.  The band matured greatly in the short time between the two albums.  I wonder sometimes what would have been possible had they had a chance to continue recording.



DGC Records issued the 20th Anniversary version of the album, yesterday.  It includes three CDs and a DVD, featuring the original mix of the album, along with a remix, demos, and live tracks.  I've been listening to it for the last hour or so.  If you're a Nirvana fan, I recommend it.

Stuck

I have a lot of things on my mind.  For the last week, my brain has been running at the speed of light.  There hasn't been a single moment when I've been able to relax.

I just don't know how to spit it out.  The words aren't coming to me.

When they do, hold on to your fucking hat.  It's going to be a wild ride.

Huh? Wha... I Dont...

Here is a photo taken on the red carpet at last night's Emmy awards.

That is 'Mad Men's' Christina Hendricks, and her husband, Geoffrey Arend  the window licker from 'Super Troopers'.

I don't get it.

Let this be a lesson, kids.  Karma is real, and it's fucking amazing.

Headline Of The Day

More info here.

Overcome

Within 48 hours of the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center, documentarians Camera Planet pieced together footage taken from the site, which had already come to be known as "Ground Zero".  They submitted the video to VH1, with Live's 'Overcome' as a backing track.  The network aired it without hesitation, before receiving clearance from the band or its label.  The following message would scroll along the bottom of the screen:

"HOW TO HELP:  TO DONATE MONEY TO THE FAMILIES OF THE VICTIMS OF TUESDAY'S ATTACKS:  UNITED WAY (THEN A PHONE NUMBER)...AMERICAN RED CROSS (THEN A PHONE NUMBER)...SALVATION ARMY (PHONE NUMBER)...CATHOLIC CHARITIES USA (PHONE NUMBER)"

When Ed Kowalczyk, Live's frontman and 'Overcome's songwriter, saw the video later in the week, he eagerly gave MTV Networks permission to use the song.  In fact, the footage was later re-edited and became part the track's "official" video.




It seemed as if the video played every ten minutes, like clockwork, on every single music video channel on cable television.  In the week immediately following September 11th, I must have seen it over a hundred times.  The video has become one of my strongest memories.

It has been 12 years, and I still can't wrap my head around it sometimes.  It's so surreal....

Tweet Of The Day

 

Hassan Rouhani was elected President of Iran in May.  Many people believed that his landslide win was a result of a cultural change in the nation; rejecting the ultra-conservative policies of Ahmadinejad.

Is Iran truly starting to become a more progressive nation in the Middle East?  Or, is this a preventative measure, essentially telling Israel that they don't want to be bombed?

Either way....this is nothing but a positive development in the region.

GIF Of The Day - Bob Had Bitch Tits

Fifty Years, And Still Dreaming

August 28, 1963 was a turning point in American history.  A speech given by an Alabama preacher turned activist, eloquently articulated the hopes and dreams of millions of Americans. That, 'my little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color or their skin, but by the content of their character'.

Over the years, I have heard a number of different stories of how that iconic speech came about.  Some say that Dr. King's prepared remarks had blown away from the podium in the afternoon wind.  Others claim that a woman in the front of the crowd shouted, "Tell them about the dream", referring to a sermon given in Detroit earlier in the year.  One thing is certain:  The majority of King's sixteen minutes on stage were ad-libbed.




On the surface, it may appear that in 50 years, King's dream has been realized.  But, look closer.

When authorities are faced with the necessity of listing an offense as a "hate crime", we are still dreaming.  When politicians rush through so-called "voter ID laws", in order to make voting more difficult for minority voters, we are still dreaming.  When African-Americans make up only 13% of the general population, but account for 40% of our nation's prison population, we are still dreaming.

So long as the United States has over 1,000 active hate groups, our dream will not come true.  So long as political pundits and commentators are able to make a living, shamelessly race baiting and fear mongering, our dream will never come true.  So long as police are given authority to "stop and frisk" a person, simply for the crime of looking suspicious not being white, we are still dreaming.

It's difficult not to take a "glass half empty" look at civil rights and race relations.  Yes, in 50 years, we have taken many steps forward.  But, at times, it's almost as if we've taken twice as many back.

The Greatest Thing To Ever Happen To The Internet...(this afternoon)

Transcript Of 'Beware Of Human Apostates'

In case you were interested in reading....

Audio recording is available here.

YouTube Releases Amazing Video In Celebration Of Pride Month

Last week's Supreme Court decision on DOMA and Prop 8 couldn't have come at a better time.  On the same week that Stonewall took place in 1969, and the rainbow flag made it's debut 9 years later.  YouTube released a video to celebrate both the Supreme Court decisions, and to celebrate Pride month.

Grab a tissue...


We've come a hell of a long way in forty years...

Your Daily Affirmation

"On particularly rough days, when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100%...and that's pretty good."

Smart Guy Al

Was watching the Witnesses' new DVD, 'The Prodigal Returns', and something occurred to me.

Comments?

Talk to me, people.

If John Lennon Auditioned For 'The Voice'

What would happen if John Lennon auditioned for 'The Voice'?  Would any of the judges turn their seat?

That's the questioned being asked in this brilliantly edited video.  It's put together very well.  Quite realistic, and equally as depressing.

Why Jehovah's Witnesses Are Drawn To The Muppets

For a lot of you, I'm going to ruin 'The Muppet Show', and for that, I apologize.

About 20 years ago, an old Witness friend told me about this.  He said there were days when it was the only thing to get him through the day at Bethel.

Did you know that the lyrics of Kingdom Melody #117, 'Marriage - God's Arrangement', match up perfectly with 'The Muppet Show' theme song?  It does....and it's GLORIOUS.

I thought I would have a little fun, and added new lyrics to a video of 'The Muppet Show' opening.  Enjoy.

Quote Of The Day

"Please know that I am deeply sorry. I am sorry for the pain and hurt many of you have experienced. I am sorry that some of you spent years working through the shame and guilt you felt when your attractions didn’t change. I am sorry we promoted sexual orientation change efforts and reparative theories about sexual orientation that stigmatized parents. I am sorry that there were times I didn’t stand up to people publicly 'on my side' who called you names like sodomite—or worse. I am sorry that I, knowing some of you so well, failed to share publicly that the gay and lesbian people I know were every bit as capable of being amazing parents as the straight people that I know. I am sorry that when I celebrated a person coming to Christ and surrendering their sexuality to Him that I callously celebrated the end of relationships that broke your heart. I am sorry that I have communicated that you and your families are less than me and mine."

- Alan Chambers in an apology to the LGBTQ community.

Chambers is the head of Exodus International, the most recognized "ex-gay" organization in the world.  With the apology, came the announcement that Exodus would be closing their doors permanently as of yesterday.  Founded in 1976, Exodus had 100 office locations within the U.S. at its peak, and over 150 locations worldwide.  They were the leaders in so-called "reparative therapy", the belief that gay and lesbian people could become straight with the help of god.

In the last 12 months, Chambers has changed his position on a number of issues involving Exodus and the LGBTQ community.  He was an ardent supporter of the "ex-gay" movement, citing himself as an example of its success.  In recent months, he's said that he doesn't consider himself gay, yet he doesn't think of himself as heterosexual.  He stated that he was confused about his own sexual identity.  He has questioned whether reparative therapy is effective, and, as we can see, has realized how much damage him and his movement has done in this world.

A documentary will be airing tonight on OWN at 10PM, focusing on the "ex-gay" community and Alan Chambers in particular.  I'm expecting to see a couple of bombshells being revealed.

......Aaaaaaaand It's Gone

It's two in the afternoon.  I haven't passed out yet.  Guess it's a good day.

I've been having an issue with chronic fatigue in recent weeks.  I generally am up and going between 9 and 10AM.  On most days, anywhere between 4 and 6PM, my body literally shuts down.  Within a matter of minutes, I go from wide awake to having to force my eyes open.  If I don't lay down, the room starts to spin.  The walls go wavy.  It's scary.

I discovered a couple of days ago that I was accidentally taking one medication, thinking it was another.  Instead of taking Pilocarpine, which helps me generate saliva, I was taking two EXTRA Proplanalol a day.  I can't remember offhand what Proplanalol does, but it's used as a blood pressure medicine.  I'm also taking Lisinopril and Clonodine, which are also blood pressure medications.  The Clonodine helps with my Tourette's, and can work as a pain reliever when coupled with the Lyrica I'm taking.  So...long story short (too late), I was taking a total of seven doses of three different blood pressure medications daily.  It's a wonder I didn't die in my sleep.

When you're taking (not including any ibuprofen or pain medication) four dozen pills every day, it's easy to get confused.

Not pictured:  Black tar heroin and the crushed Aderall that I snort in the morning.  ;)

If you told me as a kid that I'd be doing thousands of dollars each month of drugs, I wouldn't picture it like this.  It could always be worse, I guess.  Things have been worse.  I shouldn't complain.

My Book Of BS, Chapter 1 - God Violates The Laws Of Physics

"And the Lord said, "Fuck science". - Genesis 1:12

We Can Dance...If We Want To

I'm a sucker for good editing.  And, this video is second to none.  Incorporating dancing scenes from 77 different films, all synced in beat to Men Without Hats' 'Safety Dance'.  If this doesn't make you smile, nothing will.

The Hostess With The Moses...

GIF Of The Day - Oh Boy, I Can't Decide

Excited Spanky, or the drama llama?  I can't make up my mind.  I have laughed at both of these GIFs for the last couple of weeks.  If you ever need a pick-me-up, bookmark this page.

Are You That Somebody That I Used To Know?

One of the better mashups that I've heard in a while.  Never would have thought that Aaliyah and Gotye would match up so well.

GIF Of The Day - Ken Jeong Illin'

Did you know that Ken Jeong, of 'Community' and 'The Hangover' fame, was a practicing medical doctor before he started acting?  He reportedly made $5 million for his role in 'The Hangover Part III'.  Pretty smart career move...

Leave Kim Kardashian's Fat Armpits Alone

Do magazines have to resort to this in order to sell issues?

Yes, she gained a few pounds during her pregnancy.  Who doesn't?  Granted, she wore upholstery fabric to the Met Gala.  Probably not the best decision.  But, then again, Kardashians aren't exactly known for making good decisions. Just look at the jackass who's fathering the baby.

But I digress...  Is it really necessary to embarrass a celebrity on the cover of a magazine, because she got "fat" during her pregnancy?   Is that really the best message to be sending to your readers?  You're telling 240 pound housewives that someone will "never be sexy again", because they hit 220 pounds during pregnancy. 

Keep it classy, In Touch magazine...

Cover Song Of The Day - Teardrop

I can't think of how to explain this clip.  Just watch.

My Book Of Bible Stories...Remixed

It was the first book I remember reading as a kid, and the only book I had until probably a couple of years into elementary school.  Over time, the ink on the pages had faded, after years of abuse.  The spine and cover had long disappeared.  In fact, I don't know of a single kid that didn't lose the book's cover at some point.

It was the first book that I was able to read on my own.  My mother used it to teach me how to read.  It was also the tool she used to indoctrinate and brainwash her children.  That ugly yellow book...

35 years later, a group of former Witnesses have taken it upon themselves to rewrite some of their least favorite chapters in 'My Book of Bible Stories'.  They've named it 'My Book of BS', because, let's face it, it's all bullshit. 

While a subreddit was created to post these rebooted Bible stories, I thought it would be fun to share the stories in the order they're printed in the original book.  I'll post a new BS story every few days, for the next couple of weeks.  Hopefully, we can all have a couple of laughs and bring back a good memory or two. 

From the Reddit page:

My Book of Bible Stories is a children's book published by the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society (the organization that rules over Jehovah's Witnesses).

It was designed to make the loathsome stories in the Bible as kid-friendly as possible. The art contained in it was notoriously horrible and the pandering language unintentionally hilarious.

This subreddit was created to rewrite the stories to make them more accurately reflect the truth according to normal modern sensibilities about the backwards, barbaric nature of much of the Bible... and to have a few laughs.

Today, we'll start with an introduction....

 

Cover Song Of The Day - No Diggity....No Doubt

One of my favorite performances in the last few months.  Ed Sheeran and Mike Rosenberg (aka Passenger) doing a mashup cover of Blackstreet's 'No Diggity' and Macklemore's 'Thrift Shop'.  I love Passenger's vocals.  Highly recommend their most recent album.

GIF Of The Day - Booter And Ole

Paula Deen is coming out with her own line of flavored butters.  Of course she is...

 

I'm going out on a limb, here.  But, I have a feeling it will only be available at Walmart.  Come to think of it, I believe that all packages of butter at Walmart are required to have Paula Deen's face on it.  God Bless America...

 

I Love You, You Know...

I was Philip as a kid.  Looking back, it's no wonder my folks beat me so much.  Ha ha ha.

Bl4ck D4ys Ind33d...

This website started as 'The Daily Twitch', on September 11, 2009.  My first post was about the Star Spangled Banner.  I've improved greatly as a writer since then.  Some of the early articles were downright cringe worthy.

In July/August of 2011, I decided to purchase my own custom domain name.  The Daily Twitch was already taken.  So, after a couple of days debating various names, The Twitch Online was born.

As the following months eventually became years, "Twitch" was no longer an appropriate identifier for the website.  This blog started as a way to document my recent Tourette's diagnosis.  Since then, the focus of the blog has changed, as has my life.  My Tourette's Syndrome is the LEAST of my concerns. 

It's a daily struggle (with myself, mind you) to be a good father and husband.  Since starting this site, and in addition to the Tourette's and PTSD, I have been diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes, a Chiari Malformation, a massive, inoperable but benign cyst in my brain, Fibromyalgia, and Sjogren's Syndrome.  The day after tomorrow, I find out if I have Multiple Sclerosis or not.  And, that's in addition to three spinal surgeries that I had in 2011.  I'm as much "Twitch" anymore as I am the Sultan of Burnei.

Change is inevitable. 

A few weeks back, I started taking steps to change the site name to "Fell On Black Days".  The first changes came to the Facebook page and some of the cosmetics on the site.  Point of advice:  Always...ALWAYS...do your research before you follow through on any plans you have. 

I changed the page name in a number of different areas...without checking first if it was available.  "Fell On Black Days" is the title of a popular song by Soundgarden.  That being said, it was not available in any form or variation...anywhere.  I didn't choose the name based upon the song title.  I thought it was a fun play on words.  "Black Days"...Nicholai Black.  You know?  It also described how I "fell into" this current mess of medical issues.  I thought it would make a nice name for an autobiographical blog.

Eventually, I figured out that I had to pull a license plate trick on the page's name.  Substitute the A's for 4's.  Bl4ck D4ys was born.

Another item I should have researched was how Google would react to the name change.  After the fact, I found out that, when going from a "blogname.blogspot.com" address to a custom URL, Google will automatically redirect any search results that point to your site.  However, when you go from a custom domain to a "blogname.blogspot.com" address, or from "oneblog.blogspot.com" to "anotherblog.blogspot.com", Google actually prevents any redirect from happening.  This is a security measure that is in place, to prevent spam websites from bouncing around from URL to URL.

Up until a couple of days ago, there were a number of search terms that Google had my page listed as their top result.  Most of them were in regards to stories I had written about Jehovah's Witnesses.  If you searched "Jay Z Jehovah's Witness", "Jehovah's Witnesses Bisexual", or even "Tattoo Guy Lady Gaga", The Twitch Online would come up first.   Google brought me a lot of traffic.  I had no idea how much until this week.

 

 

 

 

See if you can guess when I changed my page name..

Usually, I could count on 20-30 pageviews per hour, or 250+ per day.  95% or more came from Google searches.  There hasn't been a single view on the page for three days.  That hasn't happened since the week the blog was started four years ago.  Four years of building search algorithms...down the drain.

I'm starting over.  I have no choice.  Yes, it's heartbreaking and extremely depressing.  I've cried a number of times this week.  But, what else can I do?  I've worked to hard on this to give up.  I can't walk away from 1200 posts.  What would you do?

For those of you that have been with me since the beginning, thank you.  There are a number of you that I have come to know quite well over the years.  I appreciate your support.

Buckle up.  Please keep all hands and feet in the car at all times.  Enjoy the ride.....

GIF Of The Day - It's Hypnotic

Cover Song Of The Day - Maybe I'm Crazy

I'm sure I've posted this before.  Hands down, it's my favorite cover.

What's your opinion?

Jehovah's Witnesses Have Everything....

Cover Song Of The Day - Supermassive Black Hole (On Two Cellos)

I came across this tune by accident this afternoon.  I've always appreciated "classical" covers of modern songs.  Whether it be Apocalyptica covering Metallica, or the extensive series of Vitamin String Quartet albums, it's interesting to hear someone put a different spin on one of your favorite songs.

Today's cover comes from 2Cellos.  On their latest album, they cover Muse's 'Supermassive Black Hole'.  What took me by surprise was not how well the cellists covered Muse (they're amazing), but that 'Glee's' Naya Rivera guests on vocals.  It makes a really good combination.

The official video for the song is horrid.  Extremely cheesy and corny.  And, the cellists constantly make those "WOW! I TOTALLY JUST KICKED ASS ON THAT F NOTE!" faces.  It's the same reason I stopped listening to Metallica when they got that new bass player.  That, and Metallica sucks ass, now.  The only reason I'm embedding the official video is because HOLY GLEE CLEAVAGE BATMAN....

GIF Of The Day - Is It Live, Or Is It Daft Punk?

I've been on a Daft Punk kick these last couple of weeks, with the release of 'Random Access Memories'.  It's a very good album.  Really, it's unlike anything they've put out yet.  They are clearly paying homage to the artists that influenced them as musicians.  From track to track, you pick up pieces of the Casablanca Records disco sound.  You hear a touch of Fleetwood Mac's 'Rumors', then a bit of Steely Dan or The Doobie Brothers.  Add one part Pink Floyd concept album.  One part jazz fusion jam session.  Put it all together, and you get one of the most unique and enjoyable start to finish album experiences in recent memory.

I saw this GIF a couple of months back.  Thought that it tied in quite well with their album.

Pinterest Finally Letting Users Pin Nudity (NSFW)

...as long as it's artistic.

Today, Pinterest announced that they will finally ease up their restrictions on pinning pornography.  Since the site started, they've had a pretty strict no nudity policy.  Other Internet entrepreneurs have capitalized on this policy, creating porn-only Pinterest-like sites.  Pornterest comes to mind.  Pinterest executives said,

"Pinterest is about expressing your passions and people are passionate about art and that may include nudes. So we're going to try to accommodate that."

FINALLY!

I'm not saying that I've been counting the days until I could post something vulgar on a social networking site.  But, there are a number of photos that I find very beautiful, that I would like to share.  If you know me, you know that I'm a fan of tattoos and body modification.  I'm also a very sexual individual.  My sexuality is just as much a part of me as my political ideologies or belief system.  It's going to be somewhat refreshing to be able to share my interests with my friends and other like minded individuals out there.

So, what should be my first NSFW pin?   Perhaps this?