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Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Map Of The Day



The above map shows, in varying shades of green, how religious people tend to be in this country, by state.  The darker the green, the more religious that state is.  Based on poll responses, more people in Mississippi identified themselves as "very religious", than in any other state.  Less people identified themselves that way in Rhode Island and New York, than in any other state.  Here are the results, showing the 10 most religious states, and the 12 least religious states in the country:


Does anything stand out in your mind when it comes to the states in the bottom 12?  They are overwhelmingly in favor of marriage equality.

In Vermont, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Washington, Connecticut, Washington D.C., and New York, full civil marriage rights for same-sex couples is the law of the land.  In Oregon and Rhode Island, civil unions are legal.  Domestic partnerships for same-sex couples are legal in Nevada and Maine.

The only stand out is Alaska, where in their state constitution, it defines marriage between a man and a woman.  Then again, they voted in Sarah Palin as governor once.  I would be shocked if their laws weren't written in crayon.

Thanks to Joe My God for the images.





Reason #2,946 Why I Stopped Shopping At Walmart



Last week, we were forced to temporarily suspend our boycott of Walmart.  They are the only store that sells coat hangers with the shoulder notches in them.  We've been in such desperate need of coat hangers, that we finally relented, and spent $6.00 or so in the store.

It was as if we had walked into 'The Hills Have Eyes'.  My god, I don't remember Walmart ever being this disturbing.

There were easily a dozen people riding around on Rascals, not because they were handicapped, but because they were so morbidly obese they're legs could no longer support their weight.  Nothing was on shelves.  Everything...shoes, food, household items...was dumped in cardboard "troughs".

Saving 13 cents on milk isn't that important to me.  Thanks, but I'll shop at my local grocery store.

Introducing Sluts For Obama 2012


In recent weeks, the television and internet has been inundated with news regarding women's health and reproductive rights.  

It all started (this most recent battle anyway) earlier this month, when Rush Limbaugh called Georgetown University student Sandra Fluke a slut, after she was barred from testifying before a congressional panel on the issue of contraception.  Since then, nearly 200 companies have pulled their ads from his radio program.  

Then, Virginia passed a bill effectively mandating state-sanctioned rape by trans-vaginal wand.  Protesters of that legislation were met with assault weapons and officers in riot gear.

And, earlier today, the Arizona state senate voted down a bill that would allow an employer to fire a female employee, simply if they used birth control against the employer's wishes.

Jessi and I finally said "Enough".

Over the years, the two of us have both been vocal advocates for LGBT rights and marriage equality.  It was time for us to take a much more visible stance on women's rights.  

Two weeks ago, we started Sluts For Obama 2012.  It's a way to provide information on the issues concerning the GOP's war on women.  As we approach closer to November 6th, it's also an avenue to promote and encourage voter registration.  The way we see it, if 99% of American women have used birth control, we're all sluts.

Women have a right to healthcare.  When an employer's health insurance covers Cialis and Viagra prescriptions for their male employees, but refuses to pay for contraception for their female employees, it is immoral.  When politicians find it acceptable for employers to pay for prostate exams, while defunding women's clinics for procedures like mammograms and pap smears, it is immoral.  When a candidate for the President of the United States goes on television, and proclaims that a vaccine, designed to prevent cervical cancer, makes little girls mentally retarded, that's just plain ignorant

Wake up, people.  It's 2012.  We're no longer in Salem, MA, circa 1692.  Women are no longer considered livestock.  They're not expected to be in a subservient position to their husbands.  Women's healthcare is not "witchcraft", though to many Republican law makers, it might as well be.  Government is designed to serve the needs of the people, not just old, rich, straight, white men.

Make your voice heard.  Vote.

You can go to Sluts For Obama 2012, by clicking this link, or by clicking the link at the left of the page.



Today In WTF?

Shortly after his failed presidential bid, it seems that Herman Cain is quickly settling into his new career as snuff film producer.  Cain didn't know shit about Libya, and it looks like he doesn't know shit about analogies.

Last month, Cain's Super PAC, Cain Connections, released an ad in which a little girl kills a goldfish.  Supposedly, it represented the "economy on stimulus".  Sunday, he released a new commercial.  This time, they "shoot" a bunny with a shotgun.  "This is small business under the current tax code.  Any questions?"

I have one.  What in the everloving fuck are you talking about?!?




I don't get it.  There is the possibility that the ads are so smart, that they're completely going over my head.  Somehow, I don't think that's the case.

And, is it just me, or does the girl in the commercial look like the kid in the "firestarter" meme?


At least, with Cain out of the race, "Honkies for Herman" and "Crackers for Cain" merchandise has disappeared from the net.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Quote Of The Day...And Jesus On A Dinosaur

"I have concluded through careful empirical analysis and much thought that somebody is looking out for me, keeping track of what I think about things, forgiving me when I do less than I ought.  Giving me strength to shoot for more than I think I'm capable of.  I believe that they know everything that I do and think, and they still love me.  And, I have concluded, after careful consideration, that this person keeping score is me."
- Mythbusters host Adam Savage, speaking at the Reason Rally in Washington D.C.

Another wonderful quote:
"I believe that rules do not make us moral.  Loving each other makes us moral."
Here is video of his speech, Saturday.  It was quite passionate and inspirational.  Keep an eye out for Jesus riding a dinosaur.  I'm serious.



This is another video of his speech, in much better quality (sans dinosaur).



"Join The Party" (Video)

Betty Bowers, "America's Best Christian", has just released a new Super PAC commercial for the Republican party.  

The only words that can describe the ad is...simply epic.

Graph Of The Day


On Sunday, when Michele Bachmann suggested that Trayvon Martin supporters were imagining things, maybe it's because the place that she receives her news from doesn't talk about black kids getting shot.

Tweet Of The Day

I have had a huge influx of views on today's post regarding Invisible Children executive Jedidiah Jenkins.  It seems that much of the traffic is being directed to my site from Invisible Children themselves!!!
 Quick lesson (especially when your organization is publicly under fire):  Never...never...blindly retweet something, simply because someone used your company name as a hashtag.

$100 says that they'll retweet this post as well.

Update:  Yep.  They totally did.

Can KONY 2012's Image Get Any Worse?

Apparently, it can.

Less than two weeks after KONY 2012 director, Jason Russell, went on a naked rampage in the streets of San Diego, the focus is now aimed at another executive of the charity.

TMZ has posted a video, featuring Invisible Children's Director of Ideology (yes, that's a real title) Jedidiah Jenkins.  In it, Jenkins appears to be drunk.  He looks into the camera, swigging a bottle of vodka (it's really water), and says that he's going to pocket $900k of a recent $1 million grant.



Hilarious, right?

Somehow, I don't think he has a future in stand up comedy.

NOM To Board Of Directors: "Drive A Wedge Between Gays And Blacks"


Some background:  NOM (the National Organization for Marriage) was recently sued in Maine for violating campaign finance laws.  NOM contended that they were not a political organization, and, as such, were not required to disclose campaign and financial information.  The First Circuit Court disagreed.

NOM appealed the decision to the Supreme Court, which refused to hear the case yesterday afternoon.  When that happened, NOM was legally required to make certain information public, such as reports to their board of directors.

The sixteen pages released yesterday show evidence of the organization's mission to pit African-Americans, Latinos, and the LGBT community against each other.  All the while, straight white bigots just sit back and watch it all unfold.  On page 13 of the 2008-2009 report to their board of directors, under a heading called "Not a Civil Right Project", it states the following:
"The strategic goal of this project is to drive a wedge between gays and blacks - two key Democratic constituencies.  Find, energize, equip and connect African American spokespeople for marriage; develop a media campaign around their objections to gay marriage as a civil right; provoke the gay marriage base into responding by denouncing these spokesmen and women as bigots.  No politician wants to take up and push an issue that splits the base of the party."
JAZZ HANDS...

Immediately upon reading this, Ken Hutcherson came to mind.   The vehemently anti-gay pastor from Kirkland, Washington, was one of the most vocal opponents to marriage equality in Washington state.  During one debate on the issue, he even went so far as to say that marriage equality would lead to legalized horse fucking.
"If this law is passed, what is going to happen? Now ask your guests in the studio. Do they believe that if they change the definition of marriage being between one man and one woman, what is going to stop two men one woman, two women one man, one man against a horse, one many with a boy, one man with anything?"
 Also on page 13 of the report, is their strategy regarding the Latino community.  It involves using Spanish language ads to convince listeners that their "assimilation" into American culture is not complete, unless they're against marriage equality.
"Will the process of assimilation to the dominant Anglo culture lead Hispanics to abandon traditional family values? We must interrupt this process of assimilation by making support for marriage a key badge of Latino identity - a symbol of resistance to inappropriate assimilation."
That's right folks...You're not really an American, unless you're an intolerant bigot.  In case you didn't know, these three people are at the forefront of American culture.  They're trendsetters.

Tony Perkins, head of the Family Research Council and NOM's Maggie Gallagher and Brian Brown
Another interesting tidbit from the report is that it confirms, once and for all, the partnership between NOM and the Mormon church.  Under the section "Donor Protection Litigation", it points out the steps that NOM has taken to support (and publicly shield) the LDS establishment from protests and media attention brought upon them in the wake of Prop 8.

There is also a section called "Sideswiping Obama".  The mission of this "project" is especially telling:
"Expose Obama as a social radical.  Develop side issues to weaken pro-gay marriage political leaders and parties and develop an activist base of socially conservative and Christian voters.  Raise such issues as pornography, protection of children, and the need to oppose all efforts to weaken religious liberty at a federal level."
Does this sound familiar to anyone?  Calling Mr. Santorum.

Rick Santorum has publicly vowed to ban the distribution of "hardcore" pornography on the internet, by mail, and in stores.  He has claimed that "the Obama Department of Justice seems to favor pornographers over children and families".  He also incorrectly attests that pornography causes "profound brain changes" and leads to violence against women, statements which no evidence has not shown.


Could the National Organization for Marriage have Rick Santorum in their pocket?  He is, possibly, the most vocal politician today in regards to contraception use being against our "religious freedoms".  


The notions presented in yesterday's documents are disturbing, to say the least.  Even more unsettling is the fact that many of this country's most powerful individuals support the ideologies of this disgusting organization.

Am I Suspicious?


Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Taking A Short Hiatus...Just For A Couple Of Days

What's going on, everybody?

Jessi's grandmother is flying in from Iowa tonight.  Jessi has the rest of the week off, as does her parents.  Going to be spending a lot of much needed time with family this week.

So, that being said, I probably won't be around here much until Monday.

It has been a phenomenal week for The Twitch.  Thank you all for reading...and sharing...the articles on the site like you have.

Have a great weekend, everyone.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Photo Of The Day

A child dressed in a clown costume, participates with other Ultra-Orthodox Jewish men in the Purim festival at a synagogue in Jerusalem, Thursday, March 8, 2012. The Jewish holiday of Purim celebrates the Jews' salvation from genocide in ancient Persia, as recounted in the Scroll of Esther.  

This photo is beautiful.  I want to blow this up and hang it in my home.

Photographic Proof That Guys Don't Coordinate Outfits Before Going Out


Bwahahahahahaha.

There Is Such A Thing As A Family Guy Porno

Do yourself a favor...don't search for it.  And, for the love of all things holy, NEVER do an image search.  There are some really fucked up people out there.  ((shudders))

I have seen my share of porn parodies.  Hell, I've made my share of porn parodies.  This is one of the better ones.

Don't worry, this trailer IS SAFE FOR WORK.  Believe it or not, it's surprisingly just as funny as the real thing.  You'd almost think that Seth MacFarlane was writing it himself.

The last 15 seconds of the trailer made me laugh so hard, I sneezed.  (Don't judge me.)



The DVD is being released by Hustler, the same company that brought you The Simpsons parody, the Mythbusters parody, and the Reservoir Dogs parody (which, oddly enough, isn't called "Lezervoir Dogs").

On a side note, I heard about this parody through 'Tosh.0', which has it's own parody from Hustler called 'Tosh porn.Oh' (it's horrible).

The NHL Sponsors A Lesbian Engagement

Yes.  You read that correctly.

Between the second and third periods of last Saturday's game between the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Ottawa Senators, a lesbian couple got engaged.  On the ice.  In front of a capacity crowd at Scotiabank Place.

Alicia (in the Maple Leafs jersey) was standing on the ice, blindfolded, when she was instructed to remove her blindfold and read the message on the scoreboard.  Moments later, her girlfriend, Christina (dressed in Senators apparel), walked onto the ice.  After hugging Alicia, she got down on one knee and proposed.

What followed is the most heartwarming video you'll see this month.



Something tells me we won't be seeing anything like this in the U.S. anytime soon.

Oh...the video of the proposal is from the NHL's website.  Cool, huh?

Will The Real Mitt Romney Please Stand Up? (Video)

I had a chance to see this video earlier today.  When I did, there were less than 100 views of it on YouTube.  By the time I got around to post this, there's more than 30,000.  Story of my life.

Until today, I never realized how monotone Romney is.  He lacks vocal inflection to such a degree that you can seamlessly edit portions of his speeches together.  Who would have thought that Mitt would become the world's next great white rapper?  Hell.  If Eminem is white, Mitt Romney glows in the dark...

"Every Mormon, swing your underwear.  Sing the chorus, Papa Bear."

Monday, March 19, 2012

Attention Feed Subscribers: Check Out 'The Twitch' On Facebook

This post is specifically intended for those of you that read 'The Twitch' through a subscription feed.

First of all, thank you so much for following me.  It has been your loyalty that has motivated me to keep writing.  Things have been really crazy lately, with having to deal with medical issues and finding my place as a stay-at-home dad.  Through it all, you've stuck around, and it means a lot to me.

Last week I started a dedicated Facebook page for the website.  I would appreciate it if you 'Liked' it.

Thanks for reading.  Don't be strangers.  Tell me your opinion on what you read.  I'd love to read your comments.

Mashup Monday - Muppet Edition

With 'The Muppets' coming out on Blu-Ray and DVD tomorrow, I thought it would be a great time to share a couple of my Muppet related mashups.

The first video is one of the funniest things I have ever seen.  Every time Animal comes in on the drums, I loose it.  If you were ever curious what it would be like if Beaker sang Coldplay, watch this.



This next one is for all of you Tom Waits fans.  Sorry, but you can't exactly wax poetic when you're trying to set up a video of Cookie Monster singing 'God's Away on Business'.  It's impossible.

Mashup Monday...With A Twist

Monday after Monday, I post a video featuring two or more tracks that are cleverly mashed together.

Today, I thought I would mix it up a bit.  What happens when someone takes a song, and mixes it with a cleverly remixed group of film clips?  You get JY Cinemashups.

JY Cinemashups is the name behind a 36 year old American who is brilliant...BRILLIANT...when it comes to finding the relationships between a song and a film.  The result is often times moving and downright inspiring to watch.

For example, this is 'Kill Billy', a mashup of 'Kill Bill' with Billy Joel's 'She's Always a Woman'.  Simply breathtaking...



Compare that to 'Fist Club', which brings together David Fincher's masterpiece 'Fight Club', with Florence & The Machine's 'Kiss with a Fist'.



Am I right?!  Brilliant!

Jehovah's Witnesses Now Indoctrinating Toddlers In The Watchtower

One of my earliest memories was of that damn yellow book.


As a child, I don't remember having any other storybooks in the house.  It wasn't until I was in grade school, and had access to the library, that I read something "worldly".

My mom was very diligent in trying to educate me.  At the age of three, I was already reading and writing on my own.  At four, I was enrolled in the Theocratic Ministry School, giving sermons in front of the congregation, with the intent of making myself a better magazine salesman on the weekends. 

When most kids were learning nursery rhymes or fairy tales, I was memorizing the lineage of Jesus.  I even memorized the tribes of Israel.  All twelve of them.  To the tune of 'Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious', no less.

In the years since 1978, the organization of Jehovah's Witnesses have converted 'My Book of Bible Stories' into audio cassettes, CDs, and even a webpage.  Around 2006, they swapped out the cover to something less atrocious.  

Now, the Watchtower has taken a giant leap forward in the realm of religious indoctrination.  In the May 1, 2012, Watchtower, they have dedicated pages 24 and 25 to children under the age of three.  


That's funny.  That's not the picture I remember in the Noah's Ark story that I read as a kid.


That's the one.  Bald guy getting swept away by the current.  Mother and child clinging to life on the rocks.  No wonder I had horrific nightmares as a kid.

Song Of The Day

As many of you know, Chick-fil-A has a history of being an anti-gay company.  In recent years, they have donated millions of dollars to anti-gay, Christian hate groups.  They have also sponsored "marriage training" events, which barred same-sex couples from participating.

In response, millions of progressive and LGBT friendly families (mine included) have boycotted the chain for the last two years.

That brings us to today's song, called 'Chow Down (at Chick-fil-A)' by (Not) Wilson Phillips, a trio of drag queens (Willam Belli, Detox, and Vicky Vox).  I promise.  You'll be singing this tune all day long.



If drag queens endorse Christian-right owned Chick-fil-A, is it still an endorsement?  According to the artists:  "Nope".

You may also want to check out another Willam Belli parody called 'The Vagina Song' (it's in the tune of Travie McCoy's 'Billionaire').  Be warned:  Language is NSFW.



Hilarious.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

The Gayest Photos Of Rick Santorum You'll Ever See

Stephen and Vanessa, a married couple and readers of Unicorn Booty, created a wallpaper-size mosaic of Rick Santorum...made entirely of gay porn.  Well, not entirely entirely.  Upon closer examination, it appears to be about 70/30 gay.  Good enough for me!!

Photo is kinda-sorta NSFW (if you zoom in on it, at least).


Last week, Unicorn Booty published a second mosaic - this time of gay porn, made entirely of Rick Santorum photos:


God Bless America.  And, don't forget:  Vote Dick Assjuice in 2012.

BTW, if you would like to download a wallpaper of the top pic, you can do so here.

Tea Party Leader Arrested For Kidnapping, Rape

What is it with San Diego this week?

Police have arrested Michael Kobulnicky in the February 25th kidnapping and sexual assault of a 56-year-old woman.  The victim was walking home, and was offered a ride by Kobulnicky.  He then pulled her into the car and assaulted her, later leaving her on the side of the road on Fiesta Island.

What makes this case particularly notable, is that, up until his arrest, Michael Kobulnicky was the public relations spokesman for the San Diego Tea Party.  On March 2nd, authorities released a frame from a convenience store's surveillance tape, along with a description of Kobulnicky's vehicle.  They asked for the public's help in identifying their suspect.


Kabulnicky was arrested last Thursday.

On his personal Facebook page, Kabulnicky acted as if nothing had happened.  On March 12, he posted numerous photos of his vacation in Arizona.  He also announced his engagement to his fiance.  (On a side note, the number of his Facebook friends is dropping like flies.)

On March 14th, he called for a nationwide boycott of Red Bull, following the brief airing of a commercial in South Africa.  He said, "There is such an attack against Christianity now and hopefully Christians stand up for what they believe!".  He proudly identifies himself as Christian, and brags about his "Christian values".  Kabulnicky is also a former elementary school teacher, and founder of the National Council of Americans, a youth organization whose mission is "to preserve American values (like rape) and our way of life through various methods of education by using the Constitution of the United States, Bill of Rights/Amendments, Declaration of Independence, and words of our Founding Fathers as a guide to protect American freedoms for children, teenagers, and adults of all nationalities and to unify The United States of America."

He has been organizing a San Diego summit, called the Patriot Voices Summit 2012, which was scheduled to take place in July.  Something tells me that a cancellation of the summit may be announced in the near future.

Michael Kabulnicky, speaking in January 2011.  Photo is from Kabulnicky's Facebook page, which may soon be deleted.

A statement from the San Diego Tea Party, says that Kabulnicky has been on a hiatus since January, "for personal reasons", and during legal proceedings, has been removed from his duties.  However, according to all online references from Kabulnicky himself, it appears that he was currently in his position as public relations spokesman.

You can cut the hypocrisy with a knife.

KONY 2012 Director Has Naked Freakout (New Video)

'KONY 2012' currently has over 82 million views on YouTube.  As of this writing, only 302 people have seen the video below.  For obvious reasons, it's in the public's interest that it be seen.

On Thursday, KONY director Jason Russell was "detained", for what could only be described as a nude mental breakdown on the streets of San Diego.  It has been reported by numerous media outlets that Russell was rampaging in his underwear.  He was most certainly not wearing underwear.



Yelling "fuck the Devil"? And that sashay!  Holy hell.  Not exactly the stereotypical behavior from a happily married, self-professed Christian, father of two (who wants to have nine more children).  Just sayin'.

Yesterday, Russell's family issued a statement, denying that he was under the influence of drugs or alcohol:
"Let us say upfront that Jason has never had a substance abuse or drinking problem, and this episode wasn't caused by either of those things. But yes, he did some irrational things brought on by extreme exhaustion and dehydration. On our end, the focus remains only on his health and protecting our family."
Invisible Children CEO Ben Keesey offered this explanation to TMZ:
"Jason Russell was unfortunately hospitalized yesterday suffering from exhaustion, dehydration, and malnutrition.
 "He is now receiving medical care and is focused on getting better. The past two weeks have taken a severe emotional toll on all of us, Jason especially, and that toll manifested itself in an unfortunate incident yesterday.
"Jason’s passion and his work have done so much to help so many, and we are devastated to see him dealing with this personal health issue. We will always love and support Jason, and we ask that you give his entire family privacy during this difficult time.” 
Personally, I'm not buying the "dehydration" story.  It would have been far much more believable if they went with the drug addiction angle.  


Warning:  Clip is semi-NSFW (distant peen).




Let this be a lesson to you, kids.  You never know when you're an orange Gatorade away from turning into naked raging orangutan.

San Diego Police have said publicly, that they have no intention of pressing charges against Russell.  Notice how news stories are saying that he was "detained", and not "arrested"?  Russell is currently hospitalized on a 5150 hold.  A 5150 is when authorities place someone in the hospital for a psychiatric evaluation, to determine if they pose a threat to themselves or others.  In simple terms, Jason Russell had a mental breakdown.  The 33-year-old's influence in fundraising is over.

On a lighter note, Russell's influence on the nation's fads is greater than ever.  In fact, he may have inadvertently created this year's version of planking.  It's called KONYING:



And another:




Two Men Kiss And Get Booted From Santorum Rally (Video)

On Friday night, two men publicly protested, in front of hundreds of Santorum supporters, gathered at the Christian Liberty Academy in Arlington Heights, Illinois.  They made out with each other.

Image courtesy of Towleroad

Fifteen minutes into Santorum's "America is a cesspool" rant, four members of the crowd started a "mic check".  Once they received the attention of the crowd (and members of the local media), that's when the magic happened.  Fast forward to 3:35 into the video:


Needless to say, the men (and their friends) were promptly removed from the rally.  When the two men, Timothy Tross and Ben Clifford, were asked about their sexual orientation, Tross responded:
"I don't think the message should be about what my sexuality is.  It's the message that he's (Santorum) saying about sexuality that matters."
In my opinion this form of protest is much more effective than glitterbombing.  Most people in the audience aren't hip enough to understand the symbolism of a glitterbombing.  On the other hand, when two men make out during a campaign rally for a presidential candidate that said that marriage equality would eventually lead to legalization of man/dog marriage, their message is pretty clear.

I only hope that people across the country follow the lead of Tross and Clifford.  The kiss has garnered national news coverage over the weekend.  Any further instances of "romantic protest" are sure to capture the attention of the media.

Way to go, guys.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Friday, March 16, 2012

So THAT'S How Jesus Did It

This was a Red Bull advertisement that was airing in South Africa.  I say "was", because it has since been pulled after complaints from both Christian and Muslim organizations in the country, claiming that it insulted their faith.

No one has a sense of humor anymore.

George Clooney Arrested In Washington D.C. (Video)

George Clooney was arrested this morning at the Sudanese Embassy in Washington D.C.  He was taken away in zip ties by Secret Service, along with 16 others, including Martin Luther King III, George's father Nick, Ben Jealous, the President of the NAACP, and two sitting Democratic senators.

They were protesting the Sudanese government's refusal to let humanitarian agencies into Sudan to assist their starving citizens.  They were also protesting leader Omar Al-Bashir's continual bombing of innocent men, women, and children.



Clooney posted a meager $100 bail.  He's not expected to go to trial for today's arrest.

It's a sad situation, when it takes the arrest of a Oscar winner to bring the nation's attention to the atrocities taking place outside of the country.

Dammit, Nina. It's GAUZE!!!



"Say "What" again.  I dare you.  I double dare you, motherfucker.  Say "What" one more goddamn time."


Thursday, March 15, 2012

Tweet Of The Day

@nathansreality has made a name for himself in recent weeks for producing a number of viral tweets and videos.  The purpose behind his posts are to stop bullying.  They're highly effective.

#NeverTellAGirl she is ugly, fat/overweight.  This is what happens.

I highly recommend watching his latest video.  Trigger warning:  References to suicide.

All Dead Mormons Are Now Gay

In recent weeks, ex-Mormon activists have uncovered proof that the Church of Latter Day Saints is posthumously baptizing a number of Holocaust era Jews into their fold.  Since the nineties, leaders in the Jewish community have repeatedly asked church officials to stop the practice, known as a "baptism for the dead".  In 2010, the LDS church assured people that the practice would cease, due to updates in a new, church-wide computer system.

Well, it happened again.  And again.  And again.

A few weeks ago, it was discovered that Holocaust survivor and Jewish rights advocate Simon Wiesenthal was posthumously baptized.  As was slain Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl.  On February 29th, Mormon leaders issued orders to their congregations to cease and desist on the baptisms of victims of the Holocaust and Jewish celebrities.  In his message to Mormon bishops, LDS President Thomas S. Monson wrote:
"Without exception, church members must not submit for proxy temple ordinances any names from unauthorized groups, such as celebrities and Jewish Holocaust victims.  If members do so, they may forfeit their New FamilySearch privileges (access to the church's genealogical holdings). Other corrective action may also be taken."
Sadly, the order came down from church officials nearly a week after news leaked that Anne Frank was also given a proxy baptism.   How insulting.

As a direct response to the controversy, someone (presumably with ex-Mormon ties) created the website All Dead Mormons Are Now Gay.  At All Dead Mormons Are Now Gay, you can either type in the name of a Mormon, or have the site search LDS archives for a name.  Then, with a click of the button, you can convert them to an eternity of gayness.  It's official.  No take backs.


In the last couple of days, I have converted a number of dead Mormons, so that their final resting place would be the queer netherworld.  It's quite fun.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

It's Also Steak And A Blowjob Day!

Or, as I like to call it, Wednesday...

No kidding.  March 14th is also Steak and a Blowjob Day.

It originated a couple of years ago as the male version of Valentine's Day.  The idea behind it was that Valentine's day was essentially for women.  With the greeting cards, flowers, stuffed animals, and chocolates,  February 14th was designed for the female of the species.  Steak and a Blowjob Day is for men.  No cards.  No mix CDs.  Just, well, a steak and a blowjob (not necessarily in that order).

Yes.  It's incredibly misogynistic and sexist.  And, you know as well as I do, most people out there (men and women) call BS on the entire thing.


Happy Pi Day



For geeks (and semi-educated people) around the world, today is Pi Day.  Today is March 14th, or 3/14.  Pi is the ratio of a circle's circumference to it's diameter.  It is considered an "irrational number", because it never ends.  The most common representation of the number is 3.14.  In some cases, you'll see it extended out to seven or eight digits past the decimal point, to 3.14159265.  If you want to see something interesting, check out what Pi looks like when it's worked out to one million digits.

For most of us, the only true Pi Day of our lifetime will be on 3/14/15 at 9:26AM.  For the trolls in the world, it occurred on March 14th of 1592.

I will leave you with this:




Monday, March 12, 2012

Mashup Monday - Better Than The Sum Of It's Parts

I must be honest.  The title was ripped off from the Buzzfeed article that featured this track.  I couldn't think of a better way to describe it.

Take equal portions of three really shitty tunes.  Fold in a large helping of Childish Gambino.  Add a dash of Macaulay Culkin rapping, circa 1991.  Mix together thoroughly.  The result is a damn tasty track.

I present 'Every Teardrop Has a Super Bass' by Mashup-Germany.



You can download this week's mashup here.

If you were curious, the songs mixed in this week's track are:
Sean Paul – She doesn’t mind
Coldplay – Every teardrop is a waterfall
Nicki Minaj – Super bass
Childish Gambino – Heartbeat
Macaulay Culkin – Voice sample from Michael Jacksons “Black or white”

Tweet Of The Day

Sylvia's is a soul food landmark in Harlem.  It's celebrating it's 50th year in the neighborhood.  I have seen it a number of times on the Food Network.  Sylvia, the restaurant's founder, is known in New York City as "The Queen of Soul Food".

Very cool move on the part of Ochocinco.  Harlem is going to be packed tonight.  He currently has 3,295,330 followers on Twitter. 

I've Lost My Advertisers

When I checked my email this morning, I had message in my inbox from the site's advertising service.  It read:
"Hello,
During a recent review of your account we found that you are currently displaying ads in a manner that is not compliant with our program policies.
EXAMPLE PAGE:
http://www.thetwitchonline.com/2011/12/lindsay-lohans-playboy-photos-leaked.html
Please note that this URL is an example and that the same violations may exist on other pages of this website or other sites in your network.
VIOLATION(S) FOUND:
As stated in our program policies, publishers are not permitted to place ads on pages with adult or mature content. In addition to photos and videos which contain nudity or sexual activities, below are some other examples of unacceptable content:
 * Lewd or provocative images
 *Crude or indecent language, including adult stories
   * Sexual tips or advice
   * Sexual fetish sites (e.g. foot fetish content)
   * Adult toys or products 
   * Ads or links to external sites containing adult content 
   * Adult links and/or adult keywords within the meta data in the source code of your site
ACTION TAKEN: We have disabled ad serving to your site."

But that's half of my site!!!

The smoking gun seems to be the Lindsay Lohan post I published a couple of months ago.  It's funny that they considered Lohan's Playboy pics "unacceptable content", yet didn't have an issue with my Ronald Reagan post, the talking vibrator, Tom Ford sniffing perfume samples out of a model's ass, Lady Gaga's ass, or Tori Spelling's breasts showing on Twitter.  Not to mention the countless times I've used the "C word".

Personally, I found Lindsay Lohan's Playboy shoot "unacceptable", but for different reasons entirely.

I'm really going to miss that 93 cents that came in each week.

Oh.  One last thing.  DILDO FIGHT!!!

I'm Proud To Be Amerkin'

In honor of the state of Mississippi, where a recent poll has found that 52% of the population believes that President Obama is Muslim, and only 22% believe in evolution.


Just sayin'.

Totally Looks Like...

I thought it would be fun to try my hand at creating an internet meme. I couldn't find the exact photo that I was looking for, but you get the point:


Angry Birds Pig Totally Looks Like Chumlee from Pawn Stars

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Tweet Of The Day

Tom Morello, guitarist for Rage Against The Machine, got wind last week that Rush Limbaugh was using one of Rage's songs during his radio broadcast.  It would have likely garnered a negative response to begin with.  But, with recent derogatory comments made by Limbaugh in regards to Georgetown student Sandra Fluke, it was inevitable that Morello would respond as he did:



Rage Against The Machine is the fourth artist in the last week to request that their music be removed from Limbaugh's radio show.  They follow Peter Gabriel, Rush, and The Fabulous Thunderbirds.  Rage's track is the most contemporary song of the group.  It's also the most ironic soundtrack choice of the show.  It rails against everything Rush and the GOP stands for.



Rage was occupying Wall Street before it was cool.  Some things never change.  And for that, I'm proud to call myself a fan.

License Plate Of The Day

While at a Phoenix area PetSmart last week, I came upon the following license plate:


It says, "Kill Maher", as in Bill Maher, the comedian and political pundit.  While I have seen many ridiculous and hateful messages on the cars of the GOP faithful in the area, I have never seen one advocating violence in this way.  And, it's on a license plate!!  Welcome to Arizona:  Land of the free.  Home of the concealed carry law.

Bill, you may want to consider this the next time your agent wants you to do a show in Phoenix.  Just sayin'.

On a personal note, I cannot guarantee that the tires (or brake lines) remained unharmed following the photo being taken.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Photos Of The Day

Today, I couldn't settle on just on photo.  There were three, all taken at the same location, that quickly captured my attention.




The above photos were all taken Saturday, March 3, 2012, at the Virginia state Capitol building.  In Richmond, Virginia.  In the United States.

Approximately 20 State Police officers were called in to break up a group of roughly 1,000 people, mostly women.  They were protesting new legislation that requires women to receive an ultrasound before an abortion.  The bill passed both the state senate and house last week.  It is expected to be signed by governor Bob McDonnell at any time.

31 protesters were arrested after locking arms and refusing to vacate the area.  State Police came in, dressed in riot gear, and warned the crowd to leave or face arrest.  Most officers carried semi-automatic weapons and tear gas.  

THIS IS HAPPENING IN AMERICA, PEOPLE.  What the fuck has happened to our country?

You can view many more photos from the protest at Style Weekly's Facebook page.  They also have a well written article on their website.  


Mashup Monday - Adele, Lana Del Rey and Donnie Darko

This week's installment features two tracks from DJ Magic Baron.  I personally haven't heard any of his work before, but his mixes are astounding.  He has a knack for working with some really great songs that may not have received as much airplay as they probably should have.

A perfect example is the first tune.  It's a mashup of Adele's 'Set Fire to the Rain', with 'Feel' by Robbie Williams.  'Feel' has been a favorite of mine since it was released ten years ago.  Wonderful creativity shown in this mashup.

This is 'Feel Fire to the Rain':



Up next is a mashup featuring internet darling Lana Del Rey.  To be honest, I don't see what the big deal is about her.  I'm not a fan.  However, when you pair her with the iconic Gary Jules cover from 'Donnie Darko', it works really well.  This is a mashup of 'Born to Die' with 'Mad World', dubbed 'Born Into This Mad World'.  I like it....a lot.  Enjoy:



You can download the featured mashups, along with many more, at the link above.

Experiencing Some Technical Difficulties



For the last three weeks, the site has had an issue when it comes to sharing a post on Facebook.  When you try to share one of the articles, it will still let you do so.  It won't, however, carry over a photo or description of the blog post.  It will only share the link.

From what I can tell, this is happening to a number of Blogger oriented sites.  As of yet, there is no fix.  After spending countless hours troubleshooting (Thank you Mr. Russell), it has been determined that it is what it is.  Sorry.

Another "Like" button has been added for Facebook.  To access it, you need to click on the article title, in order to pull up that specific post.  The button should then be below the post.  Installing that one has seemed to work as an occasional work around.  Even that is still hit and miss when it comes to displaying content information.

Hopefully, everything will be back to normal soon.  In the meantime, thanks for your patience.