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Thursday, March 15, 2012

All Dead Mormons Are Now Gay

In recent weeks, ex-Mormon activists have uncovered proof that the Church of Latter Day Saints is posthumously baptizing a number of Holocaust era Jews into their fold.  Since the nineties, leaders in the Jewish community have repeatedly asked church officials to stop the practice, known as a "baptism for the dead".  In 2010, the LDS church assured people that the practice would cease, due to updates in a new, church-wide computer system.

Well, it happened again.  And again.  And again.

A few weeks ago, it was discovered that Holocaust survivor and Jewish rights advocate Simon Wiesenthal was posthumously baptized.  As was slain Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl.  On February 29th, Mormon leaders issued orders to their congregations to cease and desist on the baptisms of victims of the Holocaust and Jewish celebrities.  In his message to Mormon bishops, LDS President Thomas S. Monson wrote:
"Without exception, church members must not submit for proxy temple ordinances any names from unauthorized groups, such as celebrities and Jewish Holocaust victims.  If members do so, they may forfeit their New FamilySearch privileges (access to the church's genealogical holdings). Other corrective action may also be taken."
Sadly, the order came down from church officials nearly a week after news leaked that Anne Frank was also given a proxy baptism.   How insulting.

As a direct response to the controversy, someone (presumably with ex-Mormon ties) created the website All Dead Mormons Are Now Gay.  At All Dead Mormons Are Now Gay, you can either type in the name of a Mormon, or have the site search LDS archives for a name.  Then, with a click of the button, you can convert them to an eternity of gayness.  It's official.  No take backs.

In the last couple of days, I have converted a number of dead Mormons, so that their final resting place would be the queer netherworld.  It's quite fun.