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Monday, March 19, 2012

Jehovah's Witnesses Now Indoctrinating Toddlers In The Watchtower

One of my earliest memories was of that damn yellow book.

As a child, I don't remember having any other storybooks in the house.  It wasn't until I was in grade school, and had access to the library, that I read something "worldly".

My mom was very diligent in trying to educate me.  At the age of three, I was already reading and writing on my own.  At four, I was enrolled in the Theocratic Ministry School, giving sermons in front of the congregation, with the intent of making myself a better magazine salesman on the weekends. 

When most kids were learning nursery rhymes or fairy tales, I was memorizing the lineage of Jesus.  I even memorized the tribes of Israel.  All twelve of them.  To the tune of 'Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious', no less.

In the years since 1978, the organization of Jehovah's Witnesses have converted 'My Book of Bible Stories' into audio cassettes, CDs, and even a webpage.  Around 2006, they swapped out the cover to something less atrocious.  

Now, the Watchtower has taken a giant leap forward in the realm of religious indoctrination.  In the May 1, 2012, Watchtower, they have dedicated pages 24 and 25 to children under the age of three.  

That's funny.  That's not the picture I remember in the Noah's Ark story that I read as a kid.

That's the one.  Bald guy getting swept away by the current.  Mother and child clinging to life on the rocks.  No wonder I had horrific nightmares as a kid.