"She's Crafty, And She's Just My Type"

I normally wouldn't reserve a blog post for garland and ornaments, but today I just had too. Last night, we set up our family Christmas tree. We were debating whether or not to set one up this year because of the baby. With an 18 month old running around the house, standard ornaments are not a good idea. We didn't want dozens of brightly colored glass "balls" being thrown at the walls and floors in an attempt to bounce them, or at the cats. And we didn't want any unwelcome additions to her ball pit.

My wife came up with a brilliant plan: hand make the ornaments. As most of you know, she is the artist in the family. This is what she came up with. The garland is crocheted, and the ornaments were made with fabric and ribbon. I think our tree is gorgeous, and I just had to share. Take a look at these short videos:

My 100th Post

(Balloons falling from ceiling)

Can't believe I have stuck with this blog for a hundred posts. My ADHD usually makes me bored with something so quickly(cello lessons, bass guitar, etc.), that I give up, but I am loving what I am doing so far. I would like to thank the those of you that have been keeping up with the site. I appreciate you reading what I have to say. It means a lot to me. It has been very therapeutic getting my thoughts and memories out of my head and on to the blog. It is helping me heal, and you're all taking part in the process. Keep posted.

Thanks again,

Twitch

Twitch's 2009 Holiday Gift Giving Guide

With only 14 shopping days left before Christmas, I know that some of you are looking for the perfect gift to give that special someone in your life. I have compiled a list of some of the best Christmas gifts that I have found on the internet over the last few months.

FOR THE MUSIC LOVER:



How can you go wrong with this? It's a fucking Weezer Snuggie! And it comes with their new cd! How cool is that?! OK, moving on.....

FOR THE LOVER OF THE ARTS:



This one comes from Etsy. It's a watercolor portrait of the Phantom of the Opera. Measures 27"x34". For a mere $12,500, it can be yours. Description from the artist: "Decorate your walls with a painting that would reflect the pain, the sorrow, the beauty, the joy, that is displayed on stage. Having the right artwork that reflects all of these things is essential." Please let me know if you purchase this. I would love to see your bathroom after you hang it.

NOW, FOR THE WOMAN IN YOUR LIFE THAT HAS EVERYTHING:



The "Copulating Earthworm" necklace. Again from Etsy, this piece challenges the timeless ad, "Say It With Diamonds", and says, "Nay Nay. Say It With Fucking Worms". It sells for $160.00 and comes with a free Do-It-Yourself divorce kit.

AND IF ALL ELSE FAILS (LAST MINUTE/DO IT YOURSELF GIFT):



Perfect for all occasions. Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa...New Years...the list goes on and on.

File Under: WTF?

I think Bob Dylan is one of the greatest musicians of my lifetime....but a Christmas album?...really?!?

Cool New Music - One eskimO 'Kandi"

Came across a new band on mtvU a couple of days ago. I have been watching that channel quite a bit recently. Seems like they play a lot of cool, up and coming indie bands and it is nothing but music videos 24/7. A video came on for 'Kandi', and I instantly fell in love with the song.

The sound was reminiscent of Gorillaz, but with almost a British Trip Hop 90s vibe to it. Great production quality and use of sampling(Their album itself is produced by Rollo from the group Faithless). It wasn't until I was on Youtube earlier today and saw the original video to the song that I realized how much like Gorillaz they really were. They're a concept band. Every member of the band is represented by a cartoon character. They don't go all out with the idea like Gorillaz did, but they do a good job at using their characters to tell a story in their videos.

I've heard a few tracks from the rest of the album, and it is some pretty good stuff. I would recommend it. I'll probably get it from ITunes myself. The album, entitled One eskimO, released September 22, and an animated series based on their animated characters(The Adventures of One Eskimo), is scheduled to debut on the BBC early next year. I have posted copies of both versions of their 'Kandi' video, with and without the animation. Enjoy:

Happy Xmas, John

I can't believe that it has been 29 years since John Lennon was assassinated. The word "assassinated" is usually reserved for political figures, which I believe John was. He transcended music. He had passed by his contemporaries, even the rest of his band mates, a decade or more earlier, and, at the time of his death, was as much a figure for peace as he was a figure in the music industry. Who knows what he would have been capable of if he would have been able to live. Who knows what kind of influence he would have had on the world. A Nobel Peace Prize maybe? I was only five years old, but I remember the shock and sadness in my house that evening. I'm sure everyone's home felt that shock to some degree.

It seems like, for the better part of the last decade at least, the world has been a pretty fucked up place around Christmas time. Numerous wars that our soldiers are in, terrorist attacks in cities around the world, from Russia to Pakistan, not to mention Sarah Palin and Glen Beck(sorry, had to lighten the mood) make this a world that can sometimes seem hopeless.

John reminded us that "war is over, if YOU want it." WE have the power to make the world a better and safer place. Do your part. Volunteer at a homeless shelter, become an activist, get behind a cause you believe in. Don't let this world pass you by. This is your planet too. Do something about it. Ghandi said, "Be the change you want to see in the world." Then again, John also said he was the Walrus....goo goo ga choo.

I have included a video of John's Happy Xmas, War Is Over. Just a warning, it includes some pretty graphic war footage. Following that is a cover of the same song by Maroon 5. No video accompaniment, but one of the better covers of this tune that I have heard lately. Happy Xmas everyone. We miss you, John.

Update From The Neurologist

So I finally got to see my neurologist today. The guy is great. He really seems to know what he's doing and is really willing to work with me and try new things. Since my migraines have pretty much started to go away, my tics have been pretty consistent. I have been on 300mg of Topamax and 10mg of Abilify a day. Since starting the Abilify, I have been restless 24 hours a day. My mind is racing CONSTANTLY. At 10pm, I am literally pacing in my living room, every night.

It was driving me crazy. I can't sleep. I feel like I continually have cabin fever. Nothing can mellow me out. Something has to change. So, I am discontinuing my Abilify and starting on a new medication called Invega. Supposedly, it works the same as Abilify, but doesn't have any of the side effects. It's expensive as all hell though. $742.15 without insurance. Um...so I can either have two PS3's or not tic for Christmas. Still about $100.00 WITH insurance. With two psych appointments, a neuro appointment, and all of my new meds this month, it's still going to be an expensive month.

I've been getting up in the middle of the night lately, only getting about two hours of sleep. I wake up and can't go back to sleep unless I clear my mind of just useless shit that I'm thinking about. Checking account balances, things on Amazon, movies, song titles, etc. Most nights I don't go back to sleep. Sometimes, I resolve my issues and go back to sleep in a matter of a half hour or an hour. I thought it was all as a result of the Abilify. I never thought of it as being OCD behavior. As Dr. Flitman said, "Welcome to the world of Tourette's Syndrome".

"And I think to myself....
What a wonderful world....
Oh yeah...."

I Think My Daughter Is Showing OCD Traits

Since I was diagnosed with Tourette's, I have been told to keep an eye out with my daughter for OCD tendencies. They're usually a precursor for Tourette's Syndrome in children. My little girl has always sorted her books, as well as the CDs, DVDs, and video games in the house; more like inventory taking than anything OCD related. Yesterday, though, she did something that got my attention.

We were having lunch at Red Robin. She had a cup of apples that came with her macaroni and cheese. The apples were just randomly thrown into the cup when they came to the table. She removed all of the apples from the cup and put them all back in in a straight line. It was adorable, but worrisome:



Maybe it's nothing. Maybe it's the first step in a long road of many steps to come. It still worries me a bit as a parent.

Flashback Of A Tic

All along I have been telling people that the first tics I experienced was in August of 2006. I didn't have any recollection of any tics before then. My wife says that I have always sniffed, but she never thought anything of it. Other than that, I have never had any memory of a tic, until today.

This afternoon, I was in the car and had a flashback of my childhood. I must have been only seven or eight years old at the time. I was in church. My right arm started to move in a jagged up and down motion at my shoulder. I remember the feeling internally as if my shoulder joint was rubbing up against my rib cage. It was a very strange feeling. It almost tickled. I remembered liking it. I didn't know what was going on, but, because of that feeling, I wasn't scared.

I couldn't stop moving my arm, of course. After a couple of tics, both of my parents had noticed what was going on. They both started telling me to "cut it out". I tried, in vain, to tell them that I couldn't. I continued ticking throughout most of the church service.

When I got home, both of my parents sat me down on the steps leading up to my bedroom. They asked me what I was doing during church. I told them I didn't know what was going on, but I told them what it felt like and that I wanted to stop doing it but couldn't. They wanted me to show them what I was doing. Of course, I couldn't do it on command. They thought I was trying to break dance. LOL......I WAS BREAK DANCING IN CHURCH!!!

I got the shit beat out of me by my father that night. By 1980's religious whack job parent standards, I was spanked. By 2009 Child Protective Services standards, I was beaten. My dad had a method of spanking me that I will never forget. I was usually bare-assed and his weapon of choice was his leather belt. He would take a step back and take a full swing at me, leading off with his right foot, like he was swinging for the fences. And God help you if you put your hands back behind you or tensed your ass up. You got double then.

Needless to say, that was the last time I ever ticked like that. I remember actually trying to recreate the movements a couple of years later, but couldn't. I didn't recall that night until today. Wow. Heavy shit to absorb. I've had TS for 25 years or more and I'm just now figuring it out. Heavy shit.

A Surreal Experience...To Say The Least

Tonight I had the pleasure of having dinner with a local Tourette's Syndrome support group. I must say, I was quite nervous when I was invited. The thought of eight of us possibly setting each other off was making me start to tic this afternoon. It has happened to me before at my neurologist's office, and I had just envisioned "Tic Fest 2009".

When I arrived at the restaurant, the first person I met was Jarrett. No tics. Then Dana. Still no tics. It was almost like they had a calming effect on me.

As the night progressed, I met Matt, Henry, Brandon, and Bobby. As I started to talk to them all, it became clear that I was not alone in my struggles with TS. Hearing each one of their stories, I recognized my own history in each one of theirs; histories of depression or anxiety, lists of prescriptions, job histories, and even common daily routines. These people UNDERSTOOD me, and I understood them.

Tonight, I think I started some true friendships. I found people that truly cared about my past and were concerned about my future. When they asked me how I was doing, they really wanted to know. We all share a bond that is more than those found with a coworker or a neighbor. We have something in common with each other that even our partners cannot say that they do. That's a bit surreal to me. A little creepy, in fact.

I really want to thank everyone for coming tonight, and making this an experience I will never forget. I also want to thank Karen for "finding" us in a way and getting us all together. You're the "den mother" to our troop, and, without you, we never would have found each other.

Also, for those of you reading that weren't there, HUGE recommendation to Z'Tejas Grill in Scottsdale Fashion Square. Amazing service (I've never seen a restaurant split a check to the point where they split chips and salsa 12 ways.) Great food. Very accommodating. Would definitely suggest another night out there again.

Oh and....HANSON....REALLY?!?!?

Soundtrack of My Life 12/06/2009 - Nat King Cole 'The Christmas Song'

Growing up as one of Jehovah's Witnesses, I didn't have much exposure to the holidays as a child. I never knew the joy of opening up a wrapped present. I never got to see a Christmas tree up close in all of it's glory. I never heard any holiday song enough to learn the words to it. I didn't want to....except one.

I was very sheltered as a child. My parents tried to "protect" me from the dangers of this "worldly system of things" (yes, that was the language that was used in the house). What they failed to realize was that you can't control the stimuli that is being fed into your childrens' brains outside your home. You cannot control the music being played at the grocery store or at the mall. You can't control the music being played at Walmart or at Sears.

As I said, for the most part it had no effect on me. I really had no idea what I was missing out on. But when I heard that beautiful, raspy voice coming over the loud speaker, singing about that special day, I knew that there was something more to life that what I was living. That one song, those three minutes, convinced me that Christmas didn't have to be a religious holiday, but rather a time for giving and to be with family. I've always remembered that.

This was the first, and to my recollection, only Christmas song I learned by heart. It gives me a warm feeling inside every time I hear it, as I hope it does you.

"And so, I'm offering this simple phrase...
to kids from one to ninety two....
although it's been said many times many ways....
Merry Christmas to you....."

Soundtrack of My Life 11/23/2009 - Bright Eyes 'First Day Of My Life'

This song has had special significance a couple of times in my life. Between being a husband and a father, the meaning has changed. It still has to be one of the coolest songs I think I have ever heard. I'm in one of those sweet, sentimental moods this morning, so I thought I would post it. Besides, I think it's a really cool video.

The baby is getting up...so I have to go...enjoy....

Soundtrack of My Life 11/23/2009 - Ben Harper 'Waiting On An Angel'

There are a number of moments that come to mind when I think about the moment I knew that I was falling in love with my wife. One moment stands out for me as the moment I knew that I loved her.

She had just recently lost her grandfather. We were listening to music on my computer at my apartment and I played this song. We both cried and held each other for what seemed like an hour. I still get teary eyed when I think about that night. That's when I knew I had fallen for her....that we had a future together. Sure enough, four years later, here we are, celebrating our two year wedding anniversary.

Happy Anniversary

I know I haven't been posting lately, but regardless of how I've been feeling, I couldn't let today go by without having something to show for it.

It was two years ago today that my wife and I got married. On the day after Thanksgiving, in the kitchen of our Albuquerque apartment, we made a life long commitment to each other. Our "wedding reception" afterward was a half gallon of Blue Bunny chocolate chip ice cream and a bottle of sparkling cider we were able to find in the fridge.

It has been a crazy two years that has followed. I sometimes feel guilty for dragging my wife into the medical issues I've been having these last 9 months or so. I know that it has taken a toll on her. Honestly though, I couldn't have made it through on a day by day basis without her. She is the best thing that has ever....and I mean EVER happened to me. Being with her is like winning the lottery every single day. We've been together for a little more than four years now, and I still look at her and can't believe how lucky I am to be her husband. She's my best friend.

So, later tonight, and for the first time with our daughter, we will continue our tradition of having Blue Bunny chocolate chip ice cream and sparkling cider.....something tells me the little one will like it.

Happy Anniversary, hun. I love you.

Guy Fawkes Night

Remember, remember the Fifth of November,
The Gunpowder Treason and Plot,
I know of no reason
Why the Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.