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Sunday, March 9, 2014

Starter Vs. Finisher Continued... (Update: Finished)

I have a long, messy history with starting something, feeling passionate about it for a short period of time, and setting it aside to move on to something else.  I'm going to be 39 years old in three months, and the only three things I have stuck with in my life are my marriage, my daughter, and this blog.  And, when it comes to this blog, I've changed the name of it three times in four years.

Here is a list of projects that I've started and failed to carry until completion, just since the year 2000 (off the top of my head):

  • Purchasing a cello, with the intention of learning how to play it.
  • Purchasing a bass guitar, with the intention of learning how to play it.
  • Purchasing a full set of harmonicas, ditto on the intention. (I used to listen to Blues Traveler a lot.)
  • Starting a DJ/karaoke business
  • Starting an alt porn website
  • Starting a clothing line
  • Starting a political organization
  • Starting a beard club
  • Starting a dog rescue
  • Soap making
  • Clock making
  • Wood burning
  • Purchasing recording equipment, so I could start podcasting.
  • More online causes and Facebook pages than I care to admit.
And,don't get me started on relationships.  Add to that more books and novels than I can count.  Hell, I have 479 items in my Netflix queue (I'm not even joking).

It's safe to assume that I have a problem with commitment.  I lose interest rather quickly.  I also have a history of looking for an exit strategy as soon as I see my first setback.  

I have dozens of ideas that pop into my head over the course of the day.  I'm just shitty on the follow through. I lose interest pretty quickly. It doesn't help that have a have zero attention SQUIRREL.  I have a second blog that I haven't written for since Christmas Eve.  I haven't given up on it, but it's just been sitting there collecting dust.  I also have four...count them, ideas that have been swirling around in my head for the last half dozen years.  Five, if you consider the vampire novel that has been playing out in my mind since high school.

It's frustrating.  I've gotten to the point where I'm hesitant to start a project or pursue a new hobby.  I'm afraid that it will end up being a colossal waste of time and money.  Add in the fact that most days I'm struggling to find the motivation to do more than take my daughter to school.  And, more often than not, when I do feel well enough to accomplish something, my brain fog is so bad that I'm unable to focus on a fucking thing.   I just want to finish something that I've started.

Oh, and my Netflix queue is up to 482, now....