I have started stuttering. Stuttering badly. To the point where I have to stop what I'm saying, close my eyes, take a number of deep breaths, and start over again. I have never stuttered in my life. I also have a problem associating the correct word with an object or thing...example:
I have been using the words "Green Day", instead of "Craigslist". Last night I was trying to say "Crock Pot", and I was saying "Velveeta" and "Cube Steak". Today I was trying to say "Lantern" and was saying "Canteen". This happens over a dozen times a day. Luckily, my wife knows me well enough to have an idea of what I am talking about most of the time. And, she's so nice, she'll answer my question, or continue the conversation as if nothing happened. Unfortunately, in the "outside world", I don't think I could be so lucky.
I can imagine it now. "Ma'am, I'm looking at your squirrel monkey (billing statement) and I see that your bill is overweight (past due) 127 doll parts (dollars)". Wouldn't exactly be able to hold down a job. And that's why I am here. My psych says it could be the PTSD or symptoms of the Tourette's. My neurologist says it could be my Tourette's meds telling me that I am not taking enough meds, or that my body isn't used to the medication yet, or that I am dehydrated. And my therapist says it could be all of the above. So who the hell knows. All I know is that it's frustrating as all hell. I feel like an idiot. I can't even get a simple sentence out most days.
I was a customer service representative or a tech support rep over the phone for 17 years, and I was damn good. I could solve any problem or fix any product, and now I feel like I'm starting over. And I have no idea what the hell I can do. It just amazes me how the brain works. How trauma can rewire it. It can be a very complex, yet a very simple organ. It doesn't take much to shake it up and switch things around. Wonder how long it will take to wire it back to the way it was before.
0 comments:
Post a Comment