My 180th Day

I have been out of work since February 3rd, sort of. Let me explain. I used FMLA time available to me from 02/03-02/14 for the most part and then went out on short term disability for five weeks. When I returned from short term, I was able to spend maybe 2 hours a day without going home sick or using more FMLA time. Between the time I came back and the time I went back out on disability again on April 7th, my wife and I had prescheduled vacation for the third week of March. We finally took our honeymoon and went to Vegas.





It was one of the greatest weeks of my life. It was so nice to be able to do it while we had the money and before everything went downhill with the diagnoses that were to follow shortly. I'll never forget a minute of the time we spent together that week. It was a dream come true.

Shortly after coming back from Vegas, things got so bad with my anxiety that I was having 6 or more panic attacks at work a day. I filed my second, and final, short term claim, on April 7th. That was 180 days ago.

So, it's 7:33 in the morning on my 180th day. My have things changed from day one. It is no secret that my condition has changed since day one. I have made that clear in multiple posts. I have changed in a lot of ways. When I first started, all I did was watch TV. I thought it was so cool that I was getting paid to watch TV and play video games all day. TV and video games become boring very quickly. Now, I spend my time on the internet a lot. It is amazing how informed you become when you read the news from a number of different perspectives.

On June 14th, I discovered Twitter. Ran with that and abused it like it was a new Christmas present. I still Tweet three or four times a week, but Twitter has lost it's appeal (that is a post for a later time).

On September 11th, I wrote my first blog. I believe this is my 45th blog that I am writing today. Averaging 1.5 a day....living up to the name of the page....not bad. Just hope I'm boring all of you. I love blogging. It's become a hobby. I see a future in it.

Instead of TV, I spend my time now doing crazy things like making soap and clock making. I'm developing hobbies for the first time in my life. I guess that's what happens when you have 24 hours to fill in a day and nothing to do.

The time off of work had given me one huge benefit. I have been able to get to know my daughter. I've seen her first step. I've been there the first time she used the "big girl potty". By the way, replacement cost for 'Where the Wild Things Are' is $17.41. I get to wake her up every morning, make her bottle at night, and have her say "Nigh Nigh Pa Pa" before going to bed every night. I would have missed a lot of that had I been at work.

I should find out Monday if this becomes semi-permanent. If so, it means a lot more blogging, a lot more soap, and much more boredom....Jesus this gets boring sometimes.
I'm nervous about the outcome. I need the long term status. I can't work. I would much rather it be paid that just be unemployed. Things are tough as it is. We get by, sometimes, I don't know how....but we get by.

Here's to the next 180.