We Can Dance...If We Want To

I'm a sucker for good editing.  And, this video is second to none.  Incorporating dancing scenes from 77 different films, all synced in beat to Men Without Hats' 'Safety Dance'.  If this doesn't make you smile, nothing will.

The Hostess With The Moses...

GIF Of The Day - Oh Boy, I Can't Decide

Excited Spanky, or the drama llama?  I can't make up my mind.  I have laughed at both of these GIFs for the last couple of weeks.  If you ever need a pick-me-up, bookmark this page.

Are You That Somebody That I Used To Know?

One of the better mashups that I've heard in a while.  Never would have thought that Aaliyah and Gotye would match up so well.

GIF Of The Day - Ken Jeong Illin'

Did you know that Ken Jeong, of 'Community' and 'The Hangover' fame, was a practicing medical doctor before he started acting?  He reportedly made $5 million for his role in 'The Hangover Part III'.  Pretty smart career move...

Leave Kim Kardashian's Fat Armpits Alone

Do magazines have to resort to this in order to sell issues?

Yes, she gained a few pounds during her pregnancy.  Who doesn't?  Granted, she wore upholstery fabric to the Met Gala.  Probably not the best decision.  But, then again, Kardashians aren't exactly known for making good decisions. Just look at the jackass who's fathering the baby.

But I digress...  Is it really necessary to embarrass a celebrity on the cover of a magazine, because she got "fat" during her pregnancy?   Is that really the best message to be sending to your readers?  You're telling 240 pound housewives that someone will "never be sexy again", because they hit 220 pounds during pregnancy. 

Keep it classy, In Touch magazine...

Cover Song Of The Day - Teardrop

I can't think of how to explain this clip.  Just watch.

My Book Of Bible Stories...Remixed

It was the first book I remember reading as a kid, and the only book I had until probably a couple of years into elementary school.  Over time, the ink on the pages had faded, after years of abuse.  The spine and cover had long disappeared.  In fact, I don't know of a single kid that didn't lose the book's cover at some point.

It was the first book that I was able to read on my own.  My mother used it to teach me how to read.  It was also the tool she used to indoctrinate and brainwash her children.  That ugly yellow book...

35 years later, a group of former Witnesses have taken it upon themselves to rewrite some of their least favorite chapters in 'My Book of Bible Stories'.  They've named it 'My Book of BS', because, let's face it, it's all bullshit. 

While a subreddit was created to post these rebooted Bible stories, I thought it would be fun to share the stories in the order they're printed in the original book.  I'll post a new BS story every few days, for the next couple of weeks.  Hopefully, we can all have a couple of laughs and bring back a good memory or two. 

From the Reddit page:

My Book of Bible Stories is a children's book published by the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society (the organization that rules over Jehovah's Witnesses).

It was designed to make the loathsome stories in the Bible as kid-friendly as possible. The art contained in it was notoriously horrible and the pandering language unintentionally hilarious.

This subreddit was created to rewrite the stories to make them more accurately reflect the truth according to normal modern sensibilities about the backwards, barbaric nature of much of the Bible... and to have a few laughs.

Today, we'll start with an introduction....

 

Cover Song Of The Day - No Diggity....No Doubt

One of my favorite performances in the last few months.  Ed Sheeran and Mike Rosenberg (aka Passenger) doing a mashup cover of Blackstreet's 'No Diggity' and Macklemore's 'Thrift Shop'.  I love Passenger's vocals.  Highly recommend their most recent album.

GIF Of The Day - Booter And Ole

Paula Deen is coming out with her own line of flavored butters.  Of course she is...

 

I'm going out on a limb, here.  But, I have a feeling it will only be available at Walmart.  Come to think of it, I believe that all packages of butter at Walmart are required to have Paula Deen's face on it.  God Bless America...

 

I Love You, You Know...

I was Philip as a kid.  Looking back, it's no wonder my folks beat me so much.  Ha ha ha.

Bl4ck D4ys Ind33d...

This website started as 'The Daily Twitch', on September 11, 2009.  My first post was about the Star Spangled Banner.  I've improved greatly as a writer since then.  Some of the early articles were downright cringe worthy.

In July/August of 2011, I decided to purchase my own custom domain name.  The Daily Twitch was already taken.  So, after a couple of days debating various names, The Twitch Online was born.

As the following months eventually became years, "Twitch" was no longer an appropriate identifier for the website.  This blog started as a way to document my recent Tourette's diagnosis.  Since then, the focus of the blog has changed, as has my life.  My Tourette's Syndrome is the LEAST of my concerns. 

It's a daily struggle (with myself, mind you) to be a good father and husband.  Since starting this site, and in addition to the Tourette's and PTSD, I have been diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes, a Chiari Malformation, a massive, inoperable but benign cyst in my brain, Fibromyalgia, and Sjogren's Syndrome.  The day after tomorrow, I find out if I have Multiple Sclerosis or not.  And, that's in addition to three spinal surgeries that I had in 2011.  I'm as much "Twitch" anymore as I am the Sultan of Burnei.

Change is inevitable. 

A few weeks back, I started taking steps to change the site name to "Fell On Black Days".  The first changes came to the Facebook page and some of the cosmetics on the site.  Point of advice:  Always...ALWAYS...do your research before you follow through on any plans you have. 

I changed the page name in a number of different areas...without checking first if it was available.  "Fell On Black Days" is the title of a popular song by Soundgarden.  That being said, it was not available in any form or variation...anywhere.  I didn't choose the name based upon the song title.  I thought it was a fun play on words.  "Black Days"...Nicholai Black.  You know?  It also described how I "fell into" this current mess of medical issues.  I thought it would make a nice name for an autobiographical blog.

Eventually, I figured out that I had to pull a license plate trick on the page's name.  Substitute the A's for 4's.  Bl4ck D4ys was born.

Another item I should have researched was how Google would react to the name change.  After the fact, I found out that, when going from a "blogname.blogspot.com" address to a custom URL, Google will automatically redirect any search results that point to your site.  However, when you go from a custom domain to a "blogname.blogspot.com" address, or from "oneblog.blogspot.com" to "anotherblog.blogspot.com", Google actually prevents any redirect from happening.  This is a security measure that is in place, to prevent spam websites from bouncing around from URL to URL.

Up until a couple of days ago, there were a number of search terms that Google had my page listed as their top result.  Most of them were in regards to stories I had written about Jehovah's Witnesses.  If you searched "Jay Z Jehovah's Witness", "Jehovah's Witnesses Bisexual", or even "Tattoo Guy Lady Gaga", The Twitch Online would come up first.   Google brought me a lot of traffic.  I had no idea how much until this week.

 

 

 

 

See if you can guess when I changed my page name..

Usually, I could count on 20-30 pageviews per hour, or 250+ per day.  95% or more came from Google searches.  There hasn't been a single view on the page for three days.  That hasn't happened since the week the blog was started four years ago.  Four years of building search algorithms...down the drain.

I'm starting over.  I have no choice.  Yes, it's heartbreaking and extremely depressing.  I've cried a number of times this week.  But, what else can I do?  I've worked to hard on this to give up.  I can't walk away from 1200 posts.  What would you do?

For those of you that have been with me since the beginning, thank you.  There are a number of you that I have come to know quite well over the years.  I appreciate your support.

Buckle up.  Please keep all hands and feet in the car at all times.  Enjoy the ride.....

GIF Of The Day - It's Hypnotic

Cover Song Of The Day - Maybe I'm Crazy

I'm sure I've posted this before.  Hands down, it's my favorite cover.

What's your opinion?

Jehovah's Witnesses Have Everything....