Today In WTF?

Shortly after his failed presidential bid, it seems that Herman Cain is quickly settling into his new career as snuff film producer.  Cain didn't know shit about Libya, and it looks like he doesn't know shit about analogies.

Last month, Cain's Super PAC, Cain Connections, released an ad in which a little girl kills a goldfish.  Supposedly, it represented the "economy on stimulus".  Sunday, he released a new commercial.  This time, they "shoot" a bunny with a shotgun.  "This is small business under the current tax code.  Any questions?"

I have one.  What in the everloving fuck are you talking about?!?




I don't get it.  There is the possibility that the ads are so smart, that they're completely going over my head.  Somehow, I don't think that's the case.

And, is it just me, or does the girl in the commercial look like the kid in the "firestarter" meme?

At least, with Cain out of the race, "Honkies for Herman" and "Crackers for Cain" merchandise has disappeared from the net.

Headline Of The Day

Sometimes, the truth is comical all by itself.  Good riddance.

Tweet Of The Day

In a campaign stop in Nashua, NH, Cain said to supporters that, "Who knows every detail of every country or every situation on the planet?  Nobody!  We've got plenty of experts.  We need a leader, not a reader."

Or, in his case, someone that watches the evening news, CNN or even 'The Daily Show'.  His quote is almost word for word of that said by President McBain, a parody of Arnold Schwarzenegger, in the Simpsons movie which came out in 2007:

Quote Of The Day

"I would want to consult with the intelligence community, the commanders on the ground in that part of the world, which I have stated before. But we should — I don’t have all the information necessary to make that decision."

- Herman Cain, responding to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel's question on whether he favors a military strike against Iran.  If you remember correctly, it was during the same interview with the Journal Sentinel in which Mr. Cain said practically the exact same thing, verbatim, as to if he would have handled Libya differently than Obama.

"I need to hear the facts.  As much as possible.  I need to hear all the alternatives.  For example, you might have mentioned that, even within the administration, there were different views.  I would want to hear all of those views, look at all of the information, then I would make the decision as Commander In Chief." 

If you watch the interview, he's practically asking the reporter to fill him in on the events that took place in Libya over the last couple of months.  I'm not sure if he honestly knows if Gadhafi was a "good guy" or a "bad guy".  And apparently, he would want to get the opinion of the labor secretary and the transportation secretary to make sure they were on board with a military operation.



Oh.  One more thing.  During that interview, Cain said that a military attack on Iran would not be "practical", because the country has mountains.

That's right, we would not be able to bomb Iran's top scientific facilities or their weapons cache, because it appears that they're embedded in the mountains.  I think he's thinking of the Taliban...in Afghanistan.

Herman Cain's Foreign Relations Policy (Video)

Yesterday, the Christian Broadcasting Network interviewed Republican presidential front runner Herman Cain.  He told the network that he's "ready for the gotcha questions".  To prove his point, he elaborated a bit on what the Cain administration foreign policy would be.  God help us all.

He explained that, as president, his top priorities are job creation and national security, not "knowing who is the head of some of these small insignificant states around the world", like "Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan".  Yes.  He actually said that.

The President of Uzbekistan is Islam Karimov, by the way.

He said, "When I get ready to visit that country, I'll know who that is".  In other words, the Google method of leadership.  Take a look.



What I find interesting about his logic is that, with his line of thinking, only the world's superpowers have problems.  What about Kuwait? Yemen?  Chechnya? Serbia?  Bosnia?  These are just a few of the "insignificant" nations that an American President has had to focus his attention on in the last twenty years.  If a candidate is going into office with the attitude of "these nations don't matter" from day one, how is he or she going to handle a crisis situation with said nation when it arises?

It's something to think about.

Quote Of The Day

"The next step, I am sure, by the way, for the Occupy Wall Street crowd is for Anderson Cooper, Bill Maher, and Jon Stewart, the trifecta of conventional wisdom's failed liberalism, to come down to Wall Street and join the masses in demanding more of our tax money so they can all be supported as novelists and movie directors. 

"You poor kids. You are basically asking to be supported and taken care of by Mommy and Daddy. Wake up, kids. Wall Street is you, with all of your wants and needs and wishes, only they have the balls to go out and work for it. Sometimes they are crooks and sometimes they are fools -- but you know what? So are all of us.

 "Listen to Mr. Cain. Shut up and get to work."

- Asshole, failed actor, and Creationism enthusiast Ben Stein, on the Occupy Wall Street movement. 

Watch Barack Obama's Vs. Herman Cain's Reaction To The Occupy Wall Street Movement

If my recollection is correct, today is the 16th or 17th day of Occupy Wall Street.  I tend to lose track of time.

Today, President Obama held a press conference to discuss the jobs bill that he is trying to get through Congress.  Eric Cantor has recently bragged that the bill will never be introduced on the House floor.  Essentially, today Obama told House Republicans to either come up with something better, or shut the hell up and pass the damn bill.  After making his statement, he took a number of questions from reporters.

A reporter asked the question, "Are you following the "Occupy Wall Street" movement, and how will you respond?".  This was his response:



In essence, he has seen reports of the protests on television, and people have a right to be upset.  People may disagree with me, but that's fair.  He's not exactly advocating for the dismantlement of the Federal Reserve, but he did sign into law the Dodd-Frank Wall Street Reform Act, which promises sweeping changes to be implemented in corporate America.  Due to stalling and roadblocks from the Republican side of the aisle, only 38 of the nearly 400 reforms have been implemented since the bill was signed last July.  All current Republican presidential candidates have publicly said that, if elected, they would repeal Dodd-Frank.

Yesterday, Herman Cain was asked by the Wall Street Journal about the movement.  First, he said that he believes that, while he can't prove it at this time, the Occupy Wall Street protests are secretly being orchestrated to divert attention from President Obama's failed economic policies?  He also said, and I'm quoting here:

"Don't blame the big banks.  Don't blame Wall Street.  If you don't have a job, and if you're not rich, blame yourself.  (Snip)  When I was growing up, I was blessed to have parents, that didn't teach me to be jealous of anybody, and didn't teach me to be envious of somebody.  It is not a person's fault if they succeeded.  It is a person's fault if they fail."

He does admit that the banks were responsible for the "economic crisis" that we went into in 2008.  But, according to Cain, "we're not in 2008, we're in 2011".  Obviously, he doesn't have the basic conceptual understanding of economics.  Just take a look at the clip.  The level of ignorance and apathy in the room can be cut with a knife.



So, in Herman Cain's mind, unemployment equates failure.  The millions of people that have been laid off since 2008 were failures in their life.  In September, the Department of Labor determined the unemployment rate at 9.1% nationally, meaning 14 million people in this country were without work.  Those are the people that are receiving unemployment benefits or are reporting to the government that they are still trying to find work.  They have been unemployed for less than 99 weeks.  Analysts believe that the real unemployment rate is along the lines of 18.09% in July of this year.  That's more than 28 million losers, according to Herman Cain.

This is why someone with no political experience has no business being in the White House.  Go back to making pizzas.

Herman Cain Leading GOP Polls, Sarah Palin Has No Idea Who He Is

Surprising news for the Cain campaign this week.  First, Herman Cain walked away with a win at the Florida straw poll on Sunday.  Taking nearly 40% of the vote, he won by a double digit margin over Rick Perry and Mitt Romney - the front runners of the Republican presidential race.  In modern political history, the winner of the Florida straw poll went on to become the Republican candidate chosen the following year at their national convention.

Then, on Monday, Zogby released a national poll amongst primary voters.  Again, Herman Cain was on top.

Another double digit lead ahead of Perry and Romney.  Some say that people are intrigued by Cain's 9-9-9 tax plan.  Coincidentally, the "9-9-9" is also the name of a specialty pizza available at Godfather's (joking).  Others say that the bickering between Perry and Romney have cost them their leads.

Does anyone take Herman Cain's chances seriously?  Take a look at this.  While complimenting him a couple of nights ago on Fox News, Sarah Palin called him the wrong name not once.  Not twice.  But five times.



Excuse me, Sarah.  It's HER-MAN CAIN.  Say it with me.  Her.  Man.  Caaaaaaaaaaain.

I realize this may just be an underhanded way of Palin trying to divert attention away from potential competition.  Later in the same interview, she was speaking as to whether she has made up her mind about running for President or not.  She actually had the balls to say that she believes she has more power now than what she would as President of the United States.

I also realize that Sarah Palin is an absolute moron.  This is the same woman that tried to re-write the story of Paul Revere.  If she doesn't have a teleprompter in front of her, there's no telling what she'll say.

Maybe she's so self absorbed, she honestly believes the GOP front runner is named Herb Cain.  Maybe she doesn't watch the news.  It makes sense to me.  George W. Bush was famous for saying that he didn't read the newspaper.  It would only be logical, 10 years later, to have a presidential candidate that didn't read the news at all.

Video: Herman Cain's 9/11 Tribute

Yesterday, Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain posted a tribute to the victims of 9/11 on his YouTube page.  It is, to say the least, insulting.  In the clip, Cain is singing 'God Bless America', while footage of planes hitting the towers of the World Trade Center are shown.  His backing track?  Screams.  The video ends with the words:

"WE MUST NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER FORGET - HERMAN CAIN - 09-11-11"


A quadruple negative?  This is someone that wants to be the President of the United States of America.  The video was paid for by "The Friends of Herman Cain", and ends with "Herman Cain - President 2012, hermancain.com".  So yes, this is technically a campaign ad.



Fucking disgusting.