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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Jehovah's Witnesses And Bisexuality

Growing up as a Jehovah's Witness, my first non-heterosexual memory had to be around age 9 or so.  I remember watching a George Michael video on television and thinking to myself, "He's really pretty".  As I got older, my interest in boys became stronger and more frequent.  From the age of 11 on, it was pretty much on the same level as my attraction to girls.

Being a Witness, I was told from an early age that homosexuality was wrong.  There was no mention in any of the publications about someone in my predicament.  At the time, I had never heard of the term "bisexuality" within the Jehovah's Witness organization.  It wasn't until years after leaving the church that I was able to come to terms with my sexuality.  In fact, I have only been "out" for a very short time.

My how things have changed.  In the December 2010, Awake!, there is a half page follow up article that asks, 'What About Bisexuality?'.  It is deplorable to see the misleading and misguided information that they are giving their impressionable young people within the congregation that are truly seeking answers.

They truthfully state that bisexuality is more common in girls.  Then they go on to state that the three main reasons that people are bisexual are "for attention, curiosity and attraction".  "Girls who lack self confidence will do almost anything to make a guy like them".  That is a direct quote from the article, folks.

So is this, "But what if you're really drawn to both sexes?  You should be aware that same sex attraction is nothing more than a passing phase." Really!!!  So, the last 24 years have only been a "passing phase" for me? How insulting.  I like how they provide no medical or scientific evidence to support their claims.  How about homosexuality in the animal world?  Penguins?  Hyenas?  Anyone?

My favorite part is a quote from a 16 year old girl named Lisette.  She says, "Talking to my parents about my feelings made me feel better.  Also, I learned that during the adolescent years, hormone levels can fluctuate greatly.  I truly think that if more youths knew more about their bodies, they would understand that same sex attraction can be temporary and they wouldn't feel the pressure to be gay."  I guarantee you she did not learn these things in her health class at school, but by her Witness parents.  I wasn't allowed to take Sex Ed in health class and no one in my congregation was either.  Our parents didn't want any "worldly" people teaching us how to have sex.  My mom did such a good job at teaching me the birds and the bees, I didn't recognize a vadge the first time I saw one.  But that's another story.

Point is, think of how many lost and confused LGBT kids there are in that mess right now, just like I was.  They're being told everything they are is a phase.  It's a lie.  It's heartbreaking.  These kids are being told to "trust in Jehovah", like god's going to magically make them straight and happy.

I just wish there was a way I could reach them.

6 comments:

Unknown said...

As a queer ex-JW, I appreciate your thoughts, and feel your frustration. I don't have the time to really tell my personal story right now, but I understand; its taken years to break down all the false sexual views and see the REAL "truth". Thanks : )

Melissa said...

Hey Adam,

Also as a lesbian ex-JW, I understand too. The hardest thing I've ever done was to leave. It was also the best and most right thing I've ever done. I also live in Arizona...Tucson to be exact.

Melissa

Adam Black said...

I would love to chat with you Melissa. I travel to Tucson at least once a month. Was down there for Pride a few months ago. Would like to share experiences with someone "local". Email me: thedailytwitch@gmail.com. Same goes to you David.

Anonymous said...

heyy im absoluely sure i'm a bi JW, but i'm terrified to say anything because of the strong beliefs my family has. i love Jehovah and i want to worship him , but they said i can't be bi and a JW. Jehovah knows my heart is in the right place. i Just wish i could be myself but serve my God as well

Adam Black said...

Anonymous:

I apologize for taking so long to respond to your comment. I have had some health issues and haven't been able to keep up with the site lately.

That being said...

I have really been torn on how to respond to your comment. I'm sure by reading my post, you understand my thoughts on the Society's viewpoint on the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered community.

Regardless of what my opinion is of religion or of the Witnesses, there are a couple things you must realize. First, if you believe in God, you know that God created you the way that you are NOW. You were born bi. Bisexuality is not a learned trait. Let's face it, who did you learn it from? Your mother? Your father? The other brothers and sisters at the Kingdom Hall? Of course not! Secondly, God loves you, regardless of whether you are gay, straight or bi.

Can you be gay or bisexual and still be one of Jehovah's Witnesses? Absolutely. I have a number of friends that I grew up with that are gay that are still in the congregation. The thing is...they're married and have children. It's a secret that they have kept their entire life. They have never told their family, their friends, their children or even their wives or husbands. If you remain a Witness, you will never be able to be honest about your sexuality anyone in your life. Essentially, you'll live the rest of your life as a straight person. In your mind, you may be bi, but you'll never be able to talk about it or act upon it.

Speaking for myself, my life was incomplete until I was able to come out to SOMEBODY. It was the most freeing experience in my life. Someone...anyone...finally knew this secret that I was holding inside since I was 9 years old.

Now, I do not advocate coming out until you are in a position where you are SAFE and PERSONALLY COMFORTABLE in your life to do so. I didn't come out publicly until I was 34. I didn't come out to my family until I was 35, years after they had already stopped talking to me.

In 2012, there is a plethora of support, compared to what I had available when I was a teenager in the early 90s. The internet is a great resource. My suggestion is to reach out on Facebook. There are a number of Gay JW/ex-JW pages on Facebook.

Create an alternate account, so that your family and friends that are currently on FB won't see your activity. Then, find some support from people in a similar situation. You'll literally find thousands of people that are in your shoes.

I wish you the best.

If you ever need to talk, the link to my Facebook profile is on the main page of my blog. Good luck.

-Twitch

Anonymous said...

This person and i really each other. I searched "Jehovah Bisexuality" and came across this because they are a JW. I dont want their family to like be mad at them but in some way we want to be together. I don't know what to do, we're still young though.