"It Gets Better" - From A Gay Witness's Perspective

As a response to the epidemic of suicides among LGBT teens in our nation, Dan Savage started the "It Gets Better" project last September.  Since then, thousands upon thousands of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered individuals, as well as a large number of straight allies, have recorded videos to tell young people that the challenges that they face will, in time, get easier to deal with.  Videos have been submitted by Lady Gaga, employees of Google, Apple, and Pixar, 'Glee's' Chris Colfer, and even President Obama.

As someone that grew up as a bisexual kid and a Jehovah's Witness, I had a unique set of circumstances to deal with.  As I've said in the past, I really didn't even know that bisexuality was an option when it came to my sexual orientation.  When at the Kingdom Hall, I had only heard about people that were "homosexual", and people that weren't.  I wasn't allowed to say "gay" or "lesbian" in my mom's house, because "those are the words they want to be called".  It was bigotry beyond belief.  It wasn't until I was in my twenties before I was able to clear away all of the religious bullshit, and figure out my sexuality on my own terms.

It's nice to know that I wasn't alone.  I have found a number of "It Gets Better" videos produced by people that grew up as Jehovah's Witnesses.  Finally, someone that has been in my shoes.  Someone that has been told, word for word, the same line of crap about who they should be and who they are supposed to love.

The first video comes from Johnny.  He shares his experience of having to come out as gay to the body of elders during his Freshman year of high school, and the consequences that came with it.  FYI: The clip has very low audio and is hard to hear, unless you turn your volume up all the way.  

The second video that I would like to share is from Philip.  He relates a childhood experience that hit really close to home for me.  It was a picture in the "Revelation" book that turned his world upside down.  I remember the illustration vividly.  I recall having the same fears that he did when seeing it.  He offers some very practical and honest advice for any teenager, Witness or not, that feels like they have nowhere to turn.

The final video that I would like to post is from Spencer Oakes Dawson.  He came out to his Witness family when he was 15.  As you can imagine, it wasn't pretty.  

As the video progresses, not only do you see Spencer reading some of the prepared script, but his friends relate his experience as well.  This is a wonderful way to prove a point that people fresh out of the organization need to see.  Yes, when you're disfellowshipped, or come out to your Witness family, you are alienated by everyone you've even known.  Your friends and family turn their back on you.  In time, you find new friends.  You find people that will care about you unconditionally.  Spencer's my hero.

It may not seem like it at first, but for those of us that are in the LGBT community, after walking away from our lives as one of Jehovah's Witnesses, things do get better.  In time, you find a peace with yourself and with the world that you are never allowed to have from within the religion.

For those of you reading this that are still Jehovah's Witnesses, or just need someone to talk to, help is available for you.  ***You can always go to The Trevor Project at www.thetrevorproject.org, or call them at 1-800-4 U TREVOR.***  They are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to provide counseling and support.

You can also visit A Common Bond.  It is a support website that has been set up for members of the LGBT community that have been/are affiliated with Jehovah's Witnesses.  They know, more than anyone, what you are going through.

Of course, if you are reading this, and just need someone to talk to, you can always send me an email or find me on Facebook.  Or, send me a comment.  All comments are confidential and go to my email inbox to be moderated before they are published.  I understand that sometimes you just need to get something off of your chest.  I am here to help.

There was a time in my life, where I was made to feel so ashamed about who I was, that I contemplated suicide everyday for a number of years.  Thankfully, I'm still here.  I didn't have videos like these to watch 20 years ago when I thought I was the only one in the world that was feeling the way that I did.  The internet was still years away from existence.  These videos are saving the lives of kids like us...like some of the kids that we grew up with.  We didn't have someone to tell us that "it gets better".  We just prayed that it didn't get any worse.