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Friday, April 22, 2011

Spend 15 Minutes On This Lady Gaga Update...Before Her 15 Minutes Are Up

Tic tock, tic tock.  The clock is quickly running out on Lady Gaga's popularity and relevance in the music industry.  As her publicity stunts become more and more grandiose and outlandish, even many of her "Little Monsters" (me included) are saying, "Whatever", and turning the channel.

Gaga has seemed to appear so often in the news over the last two weeks, that you would think she was running as a Republican candidate for President of the United States.  Sadly, most of what she has been saying to the media has been just as insane as some of the sound bytes from Donald Trump in recent weeks.

Here comes the crazy train....Whoo Whoo!


According to an interview in 'Harper's Bazaar', appearing on shelves on April 26, these spiky things on her face and shoulders are "her bones".  That's right.  She "grew" them.
"The only tense part of our conversation occurs when I try to transition her fantasy into reality, asking about the new look--a series of sharp bones that protrude from Gaga's shoulders, cheekbones, and temples. How long does it take to apply the makeup and prosthetics to her face and arms?
"Well, first of all," she says, "they're not prosthetics. They're my bones."
Okay, so when did the bones appear?
"They've always been inside of me, but I have been waiting for the right time to reveal to the universe who I truly am."
Did she will them to come out for this album?
"They come out when I'm inspired."
Is she worried that this new look will inspire other people to "grow" similar bones?
"We all have these bones!" she says tersely. "They're the light from inside of us.""
Then, late last week, Gaga's new single 'Judas' was "leaked" onto Youtube, by Lady Gaga.  Question:  How is it possible for a track to be leaked by the artist that recorded it?  Wouldn't the appropriate term be released?  Anyway, I provided a link.  I'm not going to put it on my post.  It's unlistenable.  It sounds like what you would expect from 'Bad Romance 2.0' minus anything that made 'Bad Romance' catchy or worth five minutes of your time.

She also announced that she was going to release the video for the track, in which she was going to be playing Mary Magdalene, on Easter Sunday.  Of course, this was a cry for attention, and she received it.  Catholic groups all over the nation immediately took to every news show in the nation to decry the blasphemy that is about to take place in less than 36 hours.  Hey, I can understand blaspheming.  Especially when it's targeted toward a religious demographic that you feel screwed you over at some point in your life.  But this is just a ploy for media exposure.

I am liking some of the Youtube reactions, though.  There is one in particular from some Christian girl/Bieber fan that seems to have her facts all wrong.  She claims that Judas is another name for Jesus (wrong).  She also says that in the 'Bad Romance' video, Gaga was wearing an upside down cross, was having sex with women, and burned crosses in the video (unless there was an edit that played on MTV 7, all wrong).  She then starts crying, and thinks she's going to go to hell for hearing the song, calls Lady Gaga "Lady Gay Gay", then freaks out when she realizes that the song is going to end up on the radio.  It's hilarious.



You should also see her crying fit/online suicide note when Justin Bieber didn't win the Best New Artist Grammy.  She thinks the Chinese kids voted for Esperanza Spalding, and actually willed all of her Bieber souvenirs back to Justin Bieber.  It's epic, to say the least.

Speaking of epic, Weird Al Yankovic, the pioneer of parody, wrote a song based off of Gaga's 'Born This Way'.  It's called 'Perform This Way'.  He asked for permission from Gaga to do the song, and her people asked for a completed track for them to listen to before they would give him a decision.  It was the first time that any artist has made such a request in his 30 year career.

He submitted the song to Lady Gaga, and got flatly denied.  So, he decided to distribute the song on Youtube as "fair use".  He also posted a message on his blog, stating that if the single had been approved and released, all proceeds would have gone to the Human Rights Campaign.  Soon, even NPR got involved in the story.  Come to find out, Lady Gaga had no knowledge that Yankovic was recording a parody, or had even asked for permission.  Her manager had made the decision, without even hearing the track.  Here is the track in question.  It's quite funny.



The single is available on ITunes on Monday.  I can't wait to see the video.

'Born This Way' made news in other ways this week.  In an interview with NME magazine, Gaga was asked about the similarities between 'Born This Way', and Madonna's 'Express Yourself'.  I've noticed it.  Her fans notice it.  Evidently, Madonna has noticed it.  Gaga hasn't.  Here is an excerpt from the interview:

"A bit of it does sound quite a lot like ‘Express Yourself’, though, doesn’t it? 

“I don’t think… I swear to you. I am not stupid enough to put out a record and be that moronic.” 

The reference seemed so obvious that it had to be intentional because, as you say, you’re not stupid…

“No. Listen to me. Why the fuck…? I’m a songwriter. I’ve written loads of music. Why would I try to put out a song and think I’m getting one over on everybody? That’s retarded. What a completely ridiculous thing to even question me about. I will look you in your eyes and tell you that I am not dumb enough or moronic enough to think that you are dumb enough or moronic enough not to see that I would have stolen a melody. If you put the songs next to each other, side by side, the only similarities are the chord progression. It’s the same one that’s been in disco music for the last 50 years. Just because I’m the first fucking artist in 25 years to think of putting it on Top 40 radio, it doesn’t mean I’m a plagiarist, it means that I’m fucking smart. Sorry.”

The criticism did seem to take the wind out of the song’s sails.

“There’s a lot of people who want to see me fail. The minute they see something to shoot at, they shoot, and the bigger I become the bigger target I am. Nobody in this room at any point looked around and said ‘Oh my God, it’s ‘Express Yourself’. ‘ Not once. Listen. I swear to you. I can only be honest with you about it.”

What will people say about ‘Judas’?

“I dunno… I think they will really love it. (Starting to well up) I just don’t want my fans… I don’t know. This is exhausting. I just don’t wanna perpetuate that shit. I’m sure you want to address it but it’s just so ridiculous. I was just fucking shellshocked by it. It’s so funny to hear you say, ‘It must have been a homage’, I’m like, NO. When I homage, I fucking homage with a big sign saying I’ve done it. Why would I not do that now? (Sighs) I just like… I just have to say… (Starts crying) I feel like honestly that God sent me those lyrics and that melody. When you feel a message to give to the world and people are shooting arrows at it… there’s no way for something that pure to be wrong. (Reaches for Marilyn Monroe lighter) I need a cigarette.”
Listen for yourself.  Someone took the liberty of taking the instrumental from 'Express Yourself' and mashing it up with the vocals of 'Born This Way'.  The results speak for themselves.



While we're on the subject of 'Born This Way',  has anyone seen the album artwork yet?  For those of you that haven't seen it, let me just say in advance:  THIS IS NOT A JOKE.  This is the real album cover that will be on her new, highly anticipated (perhaps not now) album, that will be released on May 23rd.


Yes, that is Lady Gaga as a motorcycle.  I don't know if the song was supposed to be 'Born To Be Wild This Way', or what her inspiration or muse was in this instance, but clearly she has finally gone off the deep end.  Again, this isn't a gag.  She released it via her own Twitter account, and has confirmed that it is indeed the approved artwork for the album.  Something tells me that she will see a very small amount of physical album sales, and quite a bit of downloads from ITunes.  Even as a die hard Gaga fan, I wouldn't be caught dead walking up to a register at Best Buy with this in my hands.  Who wants to bet that this album gets the shit downloaded out of it illegally?

So, her second full length album hasn't even dropped yet, and it seems like the clock is already ticking.  She's making the same mistake as MC Hammer did in the 90s.  She's no longer an artist, she's a brand.  It's only a matter of time before her stock value starts to plummet.

Alright, I'm done.  Anymore writing about this, and I'm gonna LADY GAG All over my keyboard.

14:56....14:57......14:58...

2 comments:

Casey said...

It's kind of sad. I love her, but I think she's so caught up in her character that she's losing who she really is. I wonder if she's not just as wackadoo as some of the "People of WalMart," but just has better PR.

That album cover is so awful, and "Judas" is pretty much incomprehensible.

Anonymous said...

She's awesome and different, in her ways of expressing herself to the world, which is why it attracts others. Seriously, it's stupid that people have to comment on her work, and question why she does things or what she says and how she dies it. I mean its what makes her a unique artist! At least she's not trying to be like all those artists with the same look. Judas is an awesome song, and obviously was not made to attack any religion of any kind. Seriously it's not a big fucking deal get over it! God says not to judge others and yet religious people are the most judgemental people out there! If they really was for God, they would just mind their own business, pray for her, and let it go! So much controversy when it comes to gaga but haven't y'all notice by now that you cant stop her! You can't fix something that's not broken! Gaga does what she does for her fans, not you ignorant haters! And thus wristband bullshit, okay first of all it probably wouldn't have sold ad much if it didn't have Gaga's name in ur, so regardless in if she did pocket money or not, don't she deserve it? And plus she's a millionaire! Why would she even steal money from it? She has alot of it! Y'all jys trying to find any way to end her, and blah blah blah snout her 15 minutes even if she was not to be as popular anymore, she will never be forgotten! I love you gaga!!!!:)